JeepGirl17

____________ is good.

2012-02-11T19:13:00.000-08:00

Life is good. It was definitely one of those days where life is very good.

Today, I spent the day on a mountain with these guys. Doing this:

Except that in the picture, it sort of looks like the instructor in the red is actually helping out a bit, whereas in my case, I was merely trying to keep up. Seriously! The people I was with today were super-crazy, fearless, and skilled lunatics on monoskis. I'm just me. (I did fix a bucket, though, so I was not completely useless) It was a great day on great snow with great people. It was time well spent.

I've been trying to focus my energy, lately, on things that matter. Things that will be time well spent. It seems like I just never have enough time to do all the things I want to do. Then, while I was at the gym, simultaneously doing intervals on the bike and reading a magazine, I came across an article that promised to help me "find an extra hour a day." An extra hour? I could certainly use that! But as I was reading this article (during my intervals) it became abundantly clear that this article was written for people who actually have lots of down time, just don't spend that time wisely.

Otherwise, why would hints like "Only check Facebook 1 or 2 times per day" find their way into the article? A day? A DAY??? Who has the time to log onto Facebook multiple times per day? I'm thinking....only check Facebook one or two times per week is more like it!

Then I thought...yeah. That's what I need to be doing. Cutting things completely out of my day that don't have a high return. That aren't really "things I want to do." That aren't time well spent.

So I cut out the TV and computer completely on weekdays. Then, I would have time for reading, and exercise, and getting my food-and-water-and-vitamins all organized for the next day, and journaling, and spending some time each day (even if its only 5 minutes) sitting in silence.

It's been good. I feel more focused and centered and happy. I haven't missed TV at all. Facebook, I haven't missed either. Blogging, on the other hand, I missed.

Blogging has become, for me, a source of daily inspiration and direction. From people like him (Who has even more on his plate than me, yet somehow was able to complete an Ironman. Yowza!) and her (Who is not content just to reach each and every one of her goals, but shares tips and encouragement and daily challenges others to reach their goals, too. Seriously, she's like an online life coach!). From this southern gal.who takes risks every day in the one area of my life that I feel not only NOT COURAGEOUS, but possibly stifled. (Her blog name says it all) Or this guy for ignoring his fears and starting something that he is unsure about. I realized, this week, that blogging is actually time well spent.

Today, when I was driving home from New Hampshire, I couldn't wait to get home and do my daily sitting in silence. I also couldn't wait to log on and do some blogging.

Life is good. And so is blogging.

Cleaning Gal

2012-02-03T19:45:00.000-08:00

Here is one of life's great truths: when your apartment AND your car both start to smell like the inside of a gym bag, it's time to cancel your plans to stay home and clean.

Here's another of life's great truths: when there is something fun to do, I NEVER cancel plans.

So today, I spent the better part of 9 hours engaged in some sort of washing, wiping, spraying, organizing, throwing away, vacuuming, plunging (unfortunately) and filing. While I consider myself a fairly clean person, I am always astounded by what an absolute PIG I am!

Like, how did I get black fingerprints all over every light switch and door? How do I manage to get crumbs in rooms I don't eat in? Why do I manage to spill just a little bit of protein shake in the car each and every day? Exactly how many pounds of hair do I shed onto the carpet and bathtub every week?

I thought if I put on a little music and just got down to business, I could have this whole clean up thing done in a matter of two hours. How wrong I was!

I wonder, am I just exceptionally good at making messes, or is everyone as disgusting as me?

Now, as I sit in my clean, well organized, un-smelly apartment, I should feel relaxed and at peace.

Instead, I'm thinking....no wonder I'm still single!

Pinch Punch, the first of the month

2012-02-01T19:44:00.000-08:00

Suddenly, February is here. And as always, on the first day of the month, I go back to setting goals and reviewing last month's ~~failures~~ goals.

January was a bit of a rough month. It seems I've been saying that a little too often: how this month was hard, or this month was rough, or next month will be better, really. But January really was rough.

Which, it turns out, was a good thing.

A couple months ago, I was doing the obligatory goal review, and I commented on a passage I had read in a book. It essentially went like this: "Are your goals vehicles to a better you, or are they merely something to keep you busy so that you can avoid the real issues you should be focusing on?" That really stuck with me. And in January, it hit home.

As I was plowing along through the month, trying to food journal, trying to run outside every day, trying to exercise every day, trying to drink more water and eat better, I found myself failing at every endeavor. All for the same reason; as my 12 hour work days morphed into 13 hours, into 14 hours, into 14 hours with me coming in on the weekends trying to catch up yet somehow falling further and further behind every day, I also found myself saying "I need to change things." "This is not how I want my life to be." "I should leave." "I should find a new job." "I should start traveling again." "That would solve all of my problems."

The problem with that logic is that this isn't the first job that this has happened. This is actually, just the latest in a long series of jobs that I found myself working longer and harder and more and more while becoming less and less happy. Until I left and found a new job. Where the process would start all over again. And then I'd leave and go somewhere else. And the process would start all over once again.

The problem wasn't my job. The problem was me.

So this month, instead of chalking up my unmet goals to my long work hours, I stopped focusing on the goals and started focusing on me.

Why the heck to I turn into an workaholic? Why do I caffeinate myself and scarf down junk food to make it through the ridiculously long days? Why do I come in on my days off and then resent everyone else who went away to Vermont or New York or Maine for the weekend? Why the heck is my life like this?

No matter how I've tried to change this pattern in the past, I've been unsuccessful. So this January, I did something kind of radical.

I asked for help. (Which is HUGE for a control freak like myself)

I found a little community ed class in assertiveness. I signed up for a session with a nutritionist. I'm taking advantage of a free fitness assessment at the gym. And I finally sat down and talked to my supervisor at work about the workload.

Not meeting my goals has never been so productive.

And while I'm sure I'll be writing some goals for February, it won't be today.

For now, I'll just be appreciative of the chance to make a REAL change and see what happens from here.

Life is good

2012-01-29T18:43:00.000-08:00

Recipe for a Perfect Weekend:

Friday with neices and nephews.

Saturday in the mountains.

Sunday on the beach.

Ah, life is good.

Tuesday's Bad Dates...Computer Dating Part 4

2012-01-24T19:37:00.000-08:00

I thought it would be worth mentioning the ride home from the bad date outlined last week.

So, I was driving home from the date with Mr. Lie, Cheat, and Steal (it's fun!) wondering if I should just become a nun or maybe sit down in front of Utube and watch every remaining piece of 1970s footage with Marlo Thomas and Mary Tyler Moore to become a better, more polished version of "the successful single girl" when my phone rang. For once, I was actually able to locate my phone and answer it whilst driving. (Usually, I engage in a sort of rummaging, wrestling, struggling, dance to the tune of my ring tone before missing the call completely) I was greeted by the voice of my old friend, Nerd.

I haven't seen Nerd in about a year. He's working in a medical research lab in some fancy ivy league university finding the cure for cancer or MS or viral pneumonia. I get texts and emails and such, and the occasional scientific paper with his name on it as an attachment. I usually can't understand what they say.

Anyway, on this particular night, he called. It seems he was driving home from a date of his own.

"Hmm, I take it the date went really well, seeing that it's 9:30 and you are calling me."

And then we proceeded to talk for the rest of the ride home and longer, bemoaning the woes of dating (me: too many stupid guys who just turn me off. Him: too many smart girls who just turn him off) I told him that I was surprised; I thought that an ivy league school was like, nerd paradise! He bemoaned that lots of ivy league level smart people have absolutely no social skills and many girl nerds have absolutely no interest in personal hygiene.

Oh, man! It's so hard to find the perfect package! (unlike the two people on either end of the phone)

And maybe that's one of the best endings you can have for a bad date: to talk and laugh with a friend on the phone who totally understands you and makes you laugh.

2012-01-22T18:33:00.000-08:00

A couple days ago, I was commenting on the food journal thing and about how I ate like Takeru Kubayashi when I was younger. (I can't anymore)

But this morning, I went out to breakfast with my parents and my nieces. The 13 year old has taken over my title. She ordered The Hungry Pilgrim, which consisted of two pancakes, two eggs, hash browns, 2 sausage links, and 2 pieces of bacon. She also ordered some toast with butter and jelly. Her sister got the stuffed banana french toast (3 pieces) but could only finish two pieces. So the 13 year old ate the 3rd piece. Plus, she finished my mother's plate.

I should mention that she stands 4'10" and weighs in at 81 pounds.

On the way out to the car, she asked her dad if they could go to Friendly's later on today so she could use her coupon for a free milk shake.

Yup, somebody is definitely 13!

All or Nothing

2012-01-21T19:36:00.000-08:00

Something that's been on my mind lately is all or nothing thinking. You know, when you have this idea that either you are 100% there or not there at all. I often have the all or nothing thinking conversation with patients who are frustrated by a setback or by slow progress. Some days, I have that conversation multiple times with multiple people. By the end of the day, I feel like all or nothing thinking is the bane of my existance!

But today, I realized with startling clarity that I am guilty of all or nothing thinking, too.

It came to me, strangely enough, when I was driving. Today, we got our first real snowstorm of winter. Those little tiny flakes that blow around and accummulate so quickly. The roads were a mess and the wind was intense. I popped the jeep in 4WD and out I went. I love driving in the snow. Sometimes it's a bit treacherous and always it's an exercise in being aware of what everyone else is doing out there. But I love, love, love driving that jeep in the snow!

So I thought about how just a few days ago, I was thinking of how I hate winter. I hate being cold, I hate how my face feels like its going to fall off when I run, I hate how dry my skin gets, I hate how staticy my hair gets. I miss the sun. I miss the beach. I miss being warm.

And yet today, I love, love, loved driving in the snow.

So maybe I can have winter and love winter at the same time. Maybe I dont have to totally love it or totally hate it.

Maybe I'm like that with a lot of other things, as well.

Like earlier today, when I was in that cozy, lazy, it's snowing outside kind of mood. And I knew I should exercise. But I just did not feel like doing P90x or Insanity. I was feeling too lazy. And that's how it always seems to be with me. Either I run 7 miles or none. Either I exercise for 75 minutes (or longer) or I don't work out. Either I do P90x or I sit on the sofa and watch tv. Kind of dumb, isn't it?

Dumb like how I get stressed out at work and have some chocolate and then just forget it with eating healthy for the rest of the day. Or week.

Maybe there's room for a happy medium?

So today, after drving in the snow with a big ol' grin on my face and shoveling off my steps and walkway for the first time this winter, I finished setting up the second bedroom as a place to exercise. And I did a 30 minute total body workout with yoga and weights. Not all out, but not nothing.

Tuesday's Bad Dates: computer dating 3

2012-01-17T19:21:00.000-08:00

So a couple weeks ago, I started talking about computer dating and then left everyone hanging giving only the story of my co-worker's bad computer dating experience. My bad! (In my defense, I had no reliable wi-fi last week)

So, in all fairness, I must rely my story.

Like my friend, I posted what I thought was a funny, enticing, and totally truthful profile. Finally agreed upon a meet up with a seemingly nice guy. And we met for dinner at a pub. (I wore my pink chuck taylors because, really, is there any more appropriate first date attire than that? Plus, I can say "I'll be the one in pink sneakers!")

Let me digress here for a moment....up until now, I have always dated a certain KIND of person. You know, people like me. I have long string of folks from helping professions (health care workers, teachers, the social worker guy) as well as a disturbingly large number of nerds, geeks, and dorks (scientists, computer programmers, the endocrinology guy). Which sort of makes me sound like a dorky push over. Whatever. That's neither here nor there. The point is, given my success rate, it seems to reason that perhaps I should try dating people who are NOT like me. A different KIND of person.

Enter computer date guy. (Let's call him Rob)

Rob is a different kind of guy than I usually go for. He's not nerdy or a counselor or anything like that. He is a sort of...enterprenneur, if you will. He owns, like, 4 businesses. Not huge corporations or anything. Just little businesses. A landscaping company. A driveway sealing company. A drywalling company. A pool cleaning company. Plus he owns, like, 6 apartments that her rents out. So he kind of spends his time flipping from one thing to another, keeping tabs on the people that he has hired to do the day to day things for said businesses. (My head would explode if I did that) But maybe it would be good for me to hang with somebody who can do things that make my head explode.

Maybe that's the secret to a good relationship. Maybe you need to find somebody whose strengths are different that yours. Maybe then the two of you make an invincible team! Maybe, in addition to being absolutely kick ass in trivial pursuit, you are better equipt to face all of life's ups and downs, ins and outs, unexpected events and goals. Maybe Rob and I are going to end up being one of those super couples! You know, the ones that seem to have it all (because we are not alike together we DO have it all!), the couples that make you want to BE them. Oh, wow. This is going to be fantastic.

And then...

Then, while talking about pricing out a job for one of his businesses, he says "I quoted him a price double my usual rate because I could tell he had money." Um, what? Maybe I heard him incorrectly.

No such luck.

Because later on, he said: "I just make up prices sometimes." and "It's fun to screw people over." What, what? Did he seriously just say that? Yeah, he did.

While I totally do not agree with pretending to be somebody you're not or putting on some kind of song and dance to impress someone (Plus, if I was trying to impress someone, I would definitely not be singing. Or dancing.) on the flip side, don't you at least want to show your best side on a blind date? Rob essentiall just told me "Hi, I'm Rob. I lie, I cheat, and I steal. It's fun. Spinach dip?"

Looks like I won't be winning any trivial pursuit tournaments in the near future.

Rob called again to go out. I had to decline. He's just not my kind of guy.

Food Journal Recap

2012-01-16T19:12:00.000-08:00

One of my monthly goals was to keep a food journal this month, not necessarily to change what I am eating, but more so to figure out why I have such a hard time changing. Or something like that.

I will admit, its a little difficult to record everything you have eaten. My food journaling has most of the time consisted of pulling balled up post it notes out of my pockets before I throw my clothes in the hamper and then transferring the chicken scratch into a notebook. But the results are pretty enlightening, nonetheless.

First off, I don't eat nearly as much as I think I do.

Years ago, when I had to record what I ate for some nutrition class or something, I would astound people with the sheer quantity of food that I consumed every day. I remember in 7th grade for a nutrition module in school (with the then-state-of-the-art computer program to analyze your dietary intake) my teacher thought I had made some kind of mistake and had me record my food intake twice, over a week long period. Results were the same. Topping the scales at 59 pounds, I averaged between 5000 and 6000 calories a day. Yes, that was 5 THOUSAND calories a day!! At age 12, I could have eaten Michael Phelps under the table.

Same in college, though I had reeled in the eating a bit, since I was no longer a competitive gymnast with two and a half hours in the gym. Only 3000 or so calories.

Even up around age 28, when I was teaching aerobics in a gym and they had a class for nutrition. I was ashamed of my horrible eating habits...I ate three candy bars a day. Every day! When I decided to get with the program and cut out the candy for more nutritious snacks like nuts and veggies and fruit, I dropped 7 pounds in a week. (and felt like crap) So I added some candy back into the mix. Seriously. I had to pick the most high calorie food I could get my hands on to keep all 106 pounds on.

I no longer weigh 59 or 106 pounds. Those days are long gone. But this belief that I am an eating machine lingers. I feel like I am still eating like I did when I had the metabolism of an adolescent boy on cocaine.

But I'm not.

What this food journaling goal has shown me is that I really am not eating as much as I should be. And in turn, when I make bad food choices, its usually because I am famished. So I've been trying to pack lots of snacks and grab little bites or handfuls when I breeze by my desk to pick up and drop off charts. (not candy bars)

The other thing that is jumping out at me (like a leopard getting ready to pounce) is what a stress eater I am. When I feel like I have no control over a situation, I either grab some chocolate and scarf it down, or chug diet coke. Both of which have a heroin-like effect on me. I'm a food junkie, when you come right down to it. This is going to take a bit more work than packing extra snacks, but it's not exactly a surprise to me, either. I'm working on it.

Who knows? Maybe if I eat more, I'll get back down to 106?

Journal THAT baby!

Disney Marathon Race Report

2012-01-15T14:32:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wish I were the kind of person who kept close tabs on every mile run, my pace, my fatigue level, my heart rate, my refueling strategy. Then I could be the kind of person who wrote a detailed race report complete with where I was strong and where I need improvement and how my goals for the next race will differ.

I am not one of those people.

So my race reports look something like this: Sunday Jan 8th -- ran 26.2 miles, showered, swam in the pool, stuffed my face, and slept 10 hours. It was a good day!

It was a slow marathon, for sure, partly because there were so many participants, partly because I was in a late wave, partly because so many people were following the Jeff Galloway walk/run approach and there was an awful lot of maneuvering around walkers, but mostly because I had to stop and get my picture taken with Mickey and Minnie and Jimminy Cricket, and Mary Poppins, and Captain Jack Sparrow. It was a fun race!

And I think that maybe that should really be my overall goal for every race this year: finish and have fun. To hell with PR's and strategies and making forward progress and all that. Finish and have fun. Period.

Lately I've been feeling so overwhelmed by work that the last thing I need is more work from my play. When I run marathons or halves or do tri's, the one thing I DO remember is how much FUN I have. How much I feel like I'm part of something that's bigger than I am. How much I love what I'm doing and who I'm doing it with (all these strangers who are my best friends for an hour or six). Why would I want to mess with that?

Finish and have fun.

I'm one of those people.

Tuesday's Bad Dates...computer date 1

2012-01-03T19:40:00.000-08:00

I'm back, it's Tuesday and hence.....the return of:

TUESDAY'S BAD DATES:

So a couple weeks ago, I left the cliffhanger-- computer dating with a co-worker and myself.

Here is her story--

She did the whole computer dating set up thing: created a profile that was funny and clever and smart, added a bunch of super flattering pictures, posted it, and sorted through a bunch of responses. She finally decided upon a nice guy who was around the same age, a computer programmer, and liked to fish and go sailing...something she had in common. They emailed and talked and set up a time to meet.

Oh, I should mention that this nice guy took care of his mother until she died 5 years prior, of lung cancer.

Because apparently he mentioned that at their dinner. Repeatedly. Again and again and again. Did I say repeatedly? I'll say it again. Repeatedly.

Now, don't get me wrong. I think it was a wonderful thing that he did, taking care of his mother. And it would be a very traumatic thing to try to get over. So, he certainly has a right to sort of stuck on this episode in his life.

But, on a first date? Really? He couldn't have come up with any other conversation topics? Maybe written them down on flash cards he kept in his pocket? Maybe those nice hobbies of fishing and sailing? No?

My friend listened politely and asked questions and sympathized with Mr. Nice-Guy-on-Paper all the way until dessert. When he took out a stack of pictures of his mother to share with her.

I'm thinking that maybe he needs to talk to a counselor or something before going on any more dates.

(Let's all take a moment of silence and wish him luck)

January Goals

2012-01-02T07:36:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I had that great epiphany and wrote that eloquent (maybe) post on why I've been held prisoner to my goals. But that doesn't mean I'm letting myself off the hook! I'm still a goal girl at heart and it's 2 past New Year's....OF COURSE I'm setting goals! I'm just trying to be a little more mindful in the process!

But first....

December Goal Recap:

1) Continue with marathon training and weight training 3x/week:
half credit. I got the long runs in, I got some other runs in, but my milage certainly wasn't where it should have been coming up to a marathon. But...it's a fun run, not a qualifying run. I'm gonna see Mickey and the gang! And I can definitely run 26.2 miles. So, its all good. (That was a bit of an eye opener for me, too... that I have gotten to the point where I can say with confindence that I can finish a marathon, no problem. I think I should start thinking of myself as a "runner" now)

2) Eat Clean-er
Half credit again. I've been trying to get better food choices in the house, but also occassionally giving in to the treats. Starting in on the food journal next month!

3) Get rid of 5 books, two reference.
Got rid of 4. And actually gave myself permission to not finish one of them. (referencey type book that I've gotten halfway through several times but kept because I felt like the info was "important". I still think the info could be good, but the writing in this particular book was a real snooze fest. I can get a different book on the same subject if I want. That one is OUTTA HERE!)

4) DO the kinesiotape certification.
Nope. DIdn't do it. That's two months in a row. I need to either finish this in January or accept that it's not all that important to me.

5) Get rid of 5 DVDs.
Didn't do that, either.

6) INcrease water intake to 8 glasses per day.
I increased water intake, but 8 glasses keeps me in the bathroom all day. I think I need to focus on cutting down the caffeine!

7) Finish and turn in advanced clinician paperwork
DONE!

8) Decorate the apartment all happy-like!
Yay! Success.

9) Treat holiday activities as treats, not obligations
this actually worked out well. I need to start treating everything as a treat, not an obligation

10) Wrap everything green
totally done. Not one new tag, bag, piece of wrapping paper. ANd everyone got their gifts all pretty-like, anyway!

January Goals:

I've been inundated with a bunch of invitations to participate in New Year's Challenges that sound pretty fun. AND make the goal writing portion of my life seem more like a game!

1) Keep a food journal for 30 days!
Thanks to this chippy right here, I'm going to focus on eating a little more mindfully and exploring WHY I always seem to be falling off the clean eating wagon. (after one day, I'm a bit more knowledgable, already)

2) Run outside at least one mile every day in January
This challenge is courtesy of a local running store that does group runs and such. I often feel a bit left out because my crazy work schedule doesn't allow me to participate in al0t of the runs. But this I can do. And I feel like I'm part of the running group, nontheless.

3) Exercise for 100 days straight:
This one from a facebook friend who just finished his 100 days and sent the challenge out to everyone else.

4) Have a fun time in Disney and make it the funest marathon ever!

5) Ok...really. Take the kinesiotape cert exam in January

6) Get all my finances organized in one place on the computer.
Most of my financial stuff is online now, but it's scattered in folders all over my email inbox and my desktop. Trying to figure out if I want to go Quicken or Mint. com. Anyone have thoughts?

7) Spend just 5 minutes a day of "quiet time".
See where it goes from there

8) Get my apartment all set up in order
Had somebody else living here for a while and now it's just me.

9) Figure out what I want to do about my crazy work schedule and talk to my superviser to make it happen.

10) Be present.

Ok...now I'm off to go run!

A New Year

2012-01-01T13:47:00.000-08:00

So 2012 is here! I, for one, am not sorry to see 2011 go. It was a very challenging year that shook me up and forced me to change the way I see a lot of things. And not in a good way. Sometimes, I feel like life is a struggle to remain un-cynical. 2011 took me in the wrong direction.

In December, I started out all gung-ho to get back into blogging and post every day. Then, I felt the need to stop posting and just spend some time turning inward and doing some private reflection and evaluation. (All the while trying to plug away on goals) In the midst of trying to pare down my book collection, I came across a sentence that gave me pause. Then shook me up. Then forced me to change the way I see myself. In a good way. Sometimes life throws you a bone to let you know its not all that bad.

So the sentence was: "Are you using your goals to move closer to your ideal self, or as a way to keep yourself busy, so that you can avoid whatever it is you should REALLY be working on?" I saw myself in that sentence. Me, the perpetual list maker, goal setter, eye-on-the-prize go-getter; me one who does all the things other people say they'd like to do but never do; I've been avoiding life! It was a bit shocking.

Fortunately, I came across one more mind blowing sentence: "What is the one thing you are going to do differnt tomorrow?" Ok, so maybe it's not all that mind blowing. But when I realized that my goal reviews focused mainly on what I hadn't accomplished and the reasons why I didn't accomplish them (I was sick for 2 weeks, I had a big project to complete that was more important, I was tired) I decided to make a subtle shift. I've spent the past 2-3 weeks focusing on making tiny changes, not giant pie in the sky goals, but tiny little changes and seeing how they pan out.

I spent New Year's Eve with my two best friends in J's new place. J, whose home I had been renting the Garaje Mahal, which is now in the distant past. J, who spent a couple months in my new place with me before finding her own place. J, whose 2011 was way way way worse than mine. I was in her new place with Shell and the energy in that new place was good, It was a calming, safe, nurturing energy. It was good.

I mentally compared that to the energy in my new place which feels rather empty. On purpose. I felt like I needed to spend some time getting rid of negativity and baggage. (I made a lot of trips to the thrift store with donations over the past couple months as I got rid of physical stuff, too)

So now, I'm thinking that as 2012 starts, and I'm sitting here in my new place that screams EMPTINESS I need to make some tiny little changes each day and start focusing not on what I DON'T want, but on what I want. What I want to fill the space where the negativity used to live.

Oh, 2012 is a blank canvas and I'm opening some paint.

In limbo

2011-12-18T06:59:00.000-08:00

For the past few weeks, I have been committing a crime. Daily. Not just any crime, either. THE blogging crime. For the past few weeks, I have been...lurking.

Yes, I turn on the computer and navigate over to the blog and then I...just...read what everyone else is doing and get the heck off the computer. *gasp*

One of the things I like about blogging is that it seems to put you back in touch with that inner voice, the one that is the real YOU. At least blogging does that for me. In times where I felt like I had lost myself, I'd just sit down and type for a while and I'd find myself all over again. Plus, there was the added benefit of all those other like minded souls on the same journey who acted like guides by either sharing their own journey or by making observations and comments on yours.

But for the past few weeks, I've been feeling this need to feel paper under my hands. To hold a pen in my fingers. And to keep my thoughts closed up in a book, safely closed in a drawer when I'm done.

I know I'm not the only one who feels that way from time to time. In her book, The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron assigns daily writing assignments that have to be done longhand-- typing not permitted. And I've read that sometimes Stephen King writes entire novels longhand on legal pads (and then paid his kids and their college friends to type the pages into a computer). Given the average legnth of his books, I'm surprised he even has his hands left!

I miss it though...the community, the camraderie, the practice of putting something a little less free-form, a bit more structured out there into the universe. I know it'll wait for me, though.

It's weird -- my blogging habits (not just the words, but the habits) really are a reflection of what is going on in my life. I was away for an extended period of time this year, when it felt like my life wasn't really my own. And now I'm sort of here and sort of not, lurking around in limbo. I'm on the periphery, ready to jump back into life, but not quite able to yet.

Just a few more obstacles to get around. A couple more weeks to sort things through.

Then, I'll be ready to jump back in, full force. Not only into blogging, but into life, as well!

things that make you go hmmmmm

2011-12-09T20:33:00.000-08:00

I've found myself in a rather reflective mood the past week. (Interestingly enough, I spoke with 2 other friends who expressed the same tendency) It may be that the holidays are upon us, it may be that the year is drawing to a close, it may be that I had a number of sad cases at work that made me think that life is so tenuous.

This past week I have also been trying to shake a cold.

And my reflection and lingering cold have caused me to think of the ongoing goals that I never seem to reach. And the reasons why I never seem to reach them (not enough time and too much stress appear to be the ongoing themes) The giant pile of surprises that end up on my desk that reinforce the caffeinated rushing around existance that I continue. And the exhausted collapse that seems to happen at the end of the week. The half effort workouts, the full effort workouts that seem like just another item on the to do list. And the journal entries, blog entries unwritten, guitar unplayed, food uncooked in the fridge as I grab another protein bar on the way out the door.

It occurred to me that maybe what I need to do is cut back my work hours. 8 am to 7:30pm is too long. (It's also ironic that an industry that supposedly promotes health and well being--health care-- forces such unhealthy demand upon its workers!)

So now I have some number crunching to do.

I'm hoping it'll reveal some extra time that I can spend ab-crunching.

weird weekend

2011-12-04T16:34:00.000-08:00

Weird weekend. Lovely, unseasonably warm weather and me...fighting a cold. On Friday, I set out in the nice temperatures for my long run (18 miles). Well, I did it, but it was miserable. It was one of those runs where you just keep repeating "Get the miles in. Get the miles in." The miles are in. But it wasn't pretty.

I kept stopping to cough and blow my nose and hock up lugies. I walked a large portion. It took me forever. But I did it.

Saturday I paid for it. I pretty much slept the whole day. I got up to eat soup, drink tea, mega-dose with vit C and zinc, and nettie pot. I watched about 15 minutes each of 4 different Harry Potter movies. And I slept.

Today was better. Never underestimate the power of sleep! I dragged my sorry carcass to the gym and just sweated in the cardio room for an hour, letting those lungs expand and contract and move all the nastiness out of my system. And tonight...well, I'm not 100% but pretty close. All in time to go back to work tomorrow! (where did I go wrong?)

I'd take a day off to balance out the unjustness of it all, but after Saturday's sleep marathon, I feel like I just need to get the heck out of here!

Friday Dec 2nd: 18 mile run = 18 points
Saturday Dec 3rd: sleep marathon 0 points
Sunday Dec 4th: cardio = 4 points

Friday's Joy: I stepped outside and the wind was blowing just right and I smelled the ocean in a wonderful and overpowering way.
Saturday's Joy: Slipping into a hot bath and feeling the cold leave my icy toes
Sunday's Joy: watching my neice dance in her school play. (I don't know how moms do it. I almost cried watching her dance!)

December Goals

2011-12-01T19:26:00.000-08:00

Can it be December already? I feel like I was just at the beach! Thankfully....at least my sidebar (which I haven't been able to alter for some reason) is now appropriate. I've had a December quote up for a year now!

December 1st... when we can start opening the little doors on the advent calendar, listening to the Nutcracker Suite music, and frantically trying to get the holiday shopping done. And reviewing the goals :)

November Goals:

1) Stick to Marathon Training Plan: more or less. I'm running. I've done all the long runs. The shorter runs and speed workouts have sometimes taken a back seat to other pressing issues, but I feel like I'm where I should be.

2) Start Weight Training Again: Not as regularly as I should, but better than before.

3) Journal Daily: About half credit. It's amazing how much better I feel on the days I journal!

4) Eat Clean: Ok, this is a big fat fail. Def not clean this month. Yet I'm feeling and looking better than over the summer. I guess stress really does have a lot to do with weight, eh? But then again, so does EATING! So we'll be revisiting this next month...

5) Read and get rid of 5 books this month: Let's give a big WHOOP-WHOOP for my first complete pass! This month, I read A Discovery of Witches, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Thrive, Finding Happiness in the Blue Zones, Cocktails for Three, and Where is the Mango Princess? Gave em away, too. So there's that.

6) Turn in my recert info...done and done!

7) And my kinesiotape certification stuff...not done and not done!

8) Book my plane tix for upcoming trips: check times two!

9) Get rid of DVDs: no...just didn't get around to it.

10) Drink 8-10 glasses of water daily: oh, half credit.

So all in all, for my first month back to goal setting I got about half credit. Not great, but not bad either. A good warm-up, if you will. Preparation for new years!

December Goals:

1) Continue with Marathon Training and Weights 3x/week

2) Eat Clean-er

3) Get rid of 5 books (again) 2 of them reference books: I was noticing last month that I have an awful lot of reference-y type books. Some work reference and some life reference. These tend to be books that I don't even consider getting rid of. Even though many I haven't used them in years and will probably never use them again. So I'm focusing on that now.

4) Do the kinesiotape cert this month

5) Get rid of 5 DVDs

6) Increase water intake to 8 glasses per day

7) Finish and turn in advanced clinician application for work

8) Decorate the new apartment in an hap-hap-happy holiday way!

9) Treat all the December activities: the cards, the decorating, the gift buying, the obligatory get togethers.... as treats, not obligations.

10) Wrap everything green Not the color green! Just in recycled bags and wrapping. Started trying to do this a few years ago. Harder than you'd think!

Exercise:

11/29: seriously fighting a cold! came home and showered and mega-dosed with zinc and vit C and soup and tea and bed: 0 points
11/30: Cardio blast: 6 points
12/1: still fighting that cold! 0 points again :(

on 11/29 I was Thankful for:
a good presentation at work
on 11/30 I was Thankful for:
tea

December's theme: joyful! (closely related to Thankful but subtly different. For instance, I would be thankful for my cute nephew, but a joyful moment would be when he smiled at me. See? Subtly different! And in a different color.)

Dec 1st joy:
Pulling on my new fleece for the first time. So soft!

Think Locally Act Thankfully

2011-11-28T20:19:00.000-08:00

So it was a busy weekend filled with lots of warm weather and lots of activities. (Though blog posting was not one of them!) How wonderful to have 60 degree weather at the end of November in New England?

Also wonderful...to have the opportunity to donate to charities that are worthwhile. Last week I commented on a charity that operated out of Africa. Today I'm going to talk about a couple closer to home. Not only closer to my home, but closer to just about everyone's home as there are local chapters all over for those who like to think globally and act locally.

Two of the booths at the Alternative Gift Fair were taken by: Habitat for Humanity and the local food pantry. Habitat for Humanity is a non-profit organization that seeks to provide affordable homes for needy families. They build a number of homes in areas with donated materials and volunteer labor and assist the families with reasonable mortgage payments and affordable loans. The goal being to keep at risk families above the poverty level and prevent homelessness. Habitat operates worldwide. The other nice thing about Habitat is that in addition to monetary donations, volunteer opportunities exist for those of us who want to give back but have financial issues of our own to contend with.

Food pantries also exist all over in local communities. The food pantry in this area operates by accepting donated food and then putting together and delivering boxes to homes in the area. Most food pantries are especially in need of baby food, baby cereals, and formula. They also accept canned items, boxes of cereal and oatmeal, pastas and sauces, and juice boxes. Some organizations accept fresh produce, others cannot. Its important to check with local agencies to see what they are most in need of. Volunteer opportunites also exist for these organizations, as well. I have worked in the past "out back" sorting food according to category, getting rid of expired products, stocking shelves, and putting together boxes. It sounds rather boring, but in fact, its kind of nice, almost meditative. It's especially nice if you deal with people all day long and just want to chill out and decompress after work while simultaneously doing some good. I spend a couple Thanksgiving and Christmas mornings working in soup kitchens, as well. We made soup, mashed potatoes, rolls, veggies, etc. We served turkey and ham dinners to homeless folks (who always seem to be really, really funny. It's like having a great sense of humor is a needed coping strategy or something) We put together care packages of socks, granola bars, lip balm, sun screen, soap, wet naps, and little first aid kits that all the folks could take when they left. It was a good way to start off a holiday.

I haven't done the soup kitchen thing since returning home where the family lives, but that doesn't make lot of sense, does it? Maybe I need to look one up for this Christmas.

Exercise
Fri 11/25: 30 min walk and abs-- 3 points
Sat 11/26: 12 mile run --12 points
Sun 11/27: 30 min bike and arms--4 points
Today: 0 points :(

Friday I was thankful for:
the fact that my car trouble was totally minor (up and running!)
Saturday I was thankful for:
the unseasonably warm weather
Sunday I was thankful for:
a restful day. they don't come along very often
Monday I was thankful for:
Carol, a former co-worker who is moving on to another job in Florida. She is great. Florida is lucky to be getting her!

thanksgiving

2011-11-24T20:39:00.000-08:00

Oh, Thanksgiving! The other 364 days of the year, I never consider Thanksgiving a "favorite holiday". But on Thanksgiving day itself, I love, looove, lurve it!

This year, we went to my younger brother's house, not my older brother's, as has been the tradition for the past 5 years. They have a much smaller house, so in order to accommodate the number of people present, they had to move the dining room table from the little dining alcove into the living room and move the sofa from the living room into the dining alcove. Sounds crazy, but it totally worked. Worked almost too well, as my sister in law, at the end of the day, said: "I kind of like the sofa here. You can sit and relax and talk to everyone in the kitchen while they work. I'm keeping it like this until at least Christmas!"

Here's the thing about having dinner for 22 when nobody wants to show up empty handed (and half the folks in attendance are Italian) way too much food! We had three salads, three types of cranberry sauce, three types of stuffing, three types of sweet potatoes, three different breads, a turkey and a ham. Don't even get me started on dessert! (I vowed that in the future, I would not bring food, but would be the designated container supplier so there would be something to bring leftovers home in!)

For the first time in a few years, I did NOT do a turkey trot on Thanksgiving morning. (which is kind of a bummer since it was warm for the first time in many years) My car broke down yesterday. I got a ride to work yesterday and will deal with the car tomorrow. Which kind of puts a damper on my chock-full of events weekend. But then again, maybe its a blessing in disguise. It forced me to slow down a bit and just take care of business on the homefront. Relax a little more. Maybe watch a movie or two. So there's something to be thankful for.

Plus, I had all those neices and nephews to bring to the playground after dinner. Maybe I didn't get a turkey trot in, but I did get a little exercise in. And that's something else to be thankful for!

EXERCISE

Mon 11/21: 4 mile run + abs = 5 points
Tue 11/22: 8 mile run = 8 points
Wed 11/23: 12 hour work day and a ride home from work = 0 points :(
Thur 11/24: playground with the kids: 3 points

GRATITUDE

Mon 11/21: I'm thankful for taking chances
Tue 11/22: I'm thankful for a good, hard, sweat
Wed 11/13: I'm thankful for unexpected twists that show you that you really aren't in charge
Thur 11/24: I'm thankful for my crazy, off the wall, loving and totally sane family. (seriously. I know so many people who are involved in feuds and drama and this one isn't talking to that one or one ripped off the other or somebody will never forgive somebody else in the family. Got none of that in my family. We just all get together and eat. )

Hope everyone had a great thanksgiving!

Tuesday's Bad Dates...Computer Dating

2011-11-22T20:38:00.000-08:00

Before I relay the next bad date story, I have to give a little background information. Background information of a different sort:

Tuesday's Good Date!

(unfortunately, not mine)

A while back, my co-worker, Pat, set up a profile on one of those on-line dating sites. She had been toying with the idea for a while, but was always a little nervous. But one more bad encounter with her ex was all she needed to upload a few photos, write up a little profile, and hit "post." She figured, what did she have to lose? She'd just take a chance and see what happened.

You know those advertisements for weight loss pill that say at the bottom in little tiny print "results not typical"? Pat's on-line dating results are not typical.

She decided she wasn't going to contact anyone else's profile, but instead just see who would respond to her. Day one she got a bunch of responses, weeded through them, and kept 2 or 3. Same day two, day three, day four. At the end of the week, she responded to the bunch of keepers and waited for their response.

One person responded back. They emailed a couple times, talked on the phone a couple times, and then decided to meet for dinner.

A year later they're engaged.

One person. ONE PERSON! How lucky is Pat? I mean, I'm happy for her. Pat's awesome and she deserves to have a super cool, nice guy who can actually keep up with her. (She's an Ironwoman. Went to Kona and everything) But how often does that happen? Not much. Results not typical.

Pat's story is what inspired my other co-worker Sharon and I to mock up a couple profiles of our own.

Let's just say, the results were -- typical.

Alternative Holiday Gifts

2011-11-20T18:11:00.000-08:00

Today was a bright, beautiful, sunny warm day. An unexpected surprise on November 20th! It was a great day for a long run along the canal. Not fast, by any means, especially since I was battling cramping the entire way but still a good day.

Today was also one week since my visit to the Alternative Gift Fair last Sunday. A great idea and a nice reminder to me of my oh-so-optomistic vision at the beginning of the year to highlight and donate to a different charity each week of 2011. 2011 sucker punched me right in the head to knock those wonderful thoughts right out of it. But I'm happy to say cynicism won the battle but not the war. 'Cause as of today, I'm reinstating the weekly charity post.

One of the charities at the fair last week was an organization called Touching Tiny Lives. This organization aims to provide medical help and support to children in the small African country of Lesotho. It is estimated that 30% of Lesotho's population is HIV positive.

Touching Tiny Lives has set up a medical clinic to house and care for up to 20 children at a time, as well as providing visits to more remote villages for primary and follow up care. Their booth at the fair included two possible "gift items": $20 to provide a month's supply of food/formula for a child or $35 to supply fuel for 8 medical visits to remote villages.

If anyone else, like me, is feeling that sometimes we get a little too materialistic during the holidays and is looking for their own "alternative gifts", I urge you to visit their website and make a donation in a friend or loved one's name for the holidays.

Today's exercise: 16 mile long run = 16 points + 1 hour of playing "Just Dance" with my neices = 2 points.

Today I was thankful for:
a beautiful warm sunny day

Turkey Trot

2011-11-19T17:50:00.000-08:00

Today I officially kicked off the holiday season...I did a turkey trot. Nothing major, just a 5k. But it was super festive and fun and, much like my last weekend with the "more for less" theme, it was a multi-purpose event!

About a year ago, my aunt was diagnosed with uterine cancer. It's been a bit of a tough road for her over the past year, but she is doing pretty well with her treatments and things are looking hopeful. The turkey trot today was for an organization that raises money for cancer research. So a large number of family and friends all signed up and formed a team for her!

This morning, bright and early we all met at a community center and did a little run and then hung out and reconnected and played with the kids and ate some food and generally partied for a while. Plus, there was some good fund raising going on.

It was nice to go for a run with my dad, as well. He was just getting over a cold, so we went at a slightly slower pace than planned (9 min mile) but finished and had fun. What's better on a November morning than running with your dad?

It turned out to be a good kick off for the Holiday Booty Buster Challenge which is also a great holiday tradition around here.

Today's exercise: Run 3 miles, ab workout ---5 points

November 14th I was thankful for:
unexpected and pleasant surprises

November 15th I was thankful for:
a quiet place to come home to after work

November 16th I was thankful for:
being able to teach what I know

November 17th I was thankful for:
organization

November 18th I was thankful for:
productive days off

and today I was thankful for:
the opportunity to hang with my cutie pie nephews

(and the chance to sit down and write a post. I was thinking of it all week, and I was just too busy!)

More for Less

2011-11-13T20:16:00.000-08:00

This weekend, the theme seemed to be more than you bargained for. In a good way! And I took advantage of it all.

On Friday, Veterans Day, I signed up for a few races in 2012. Which means I can't be lazy and back out. It also means that the race promoters will be making donations to the Paralyzed Veterans Association. With my involvement in adaptive sport and rehab, its a cause that I believe in and I'm glad that race promoters are doing their part to help out.

I also got a head start on some on-line Christmas shopping for the same reason. I received a few emails from sites that were donating to veterans funds with purchases made on Veteran's Day.

Of course, if I were a little more on the ball, I would have posted links to the sites and spread the word to all those other runner type people out there. But I'm a little scattered and flighty. Always. But now more than usual. I'm still blaming the daylight savings debacle we go through every year. Twice.

On to Saturday, when all I had to accomplish was a 15 mile run. (Everything else was put on maybe status pending how I felt after the run) I did finish the run, but it was arduous. Because of the non-stop wind along the canal. At one point, I had to stop and walk in a near horizontal orientation in order to make any headway. (after turning around, the way back was much easier. like flying) In any case, I feel like I got a lot more bang for the buck by running against the wind for, well, 7.5 miles. More than I bargained for.

I felt so good after the run, I stopped at the Christmas Tree Shop to get some household items because I had a friends and family coupon. I got 3 bags of stuff for $15. Practically free! Score!

And then, today. I went to something called an Alternative Gift Fair. (which is such a fantastic idea, I think it deserves it very own post, unencumbered by talk of 15 mile runs) In a nutshell, you the fair is comprised of booths where charitable organizations have displays about what they do. Then, you can make donations to whichever charities you wish and you get a card to give to somebody for a gift. (kind of like "The People Foundation" from Seinfeld, but legit)

And lastly, I got the very last Just Dance 3 in the store today. (Because 10 year olds really wouldn't appreciate your buying a flock of chickens for a village in the Sudan instead of a video game)

Things just kind of rolled my way this weekend.

November 10th Thankful:
good food, good drink, good times, good friends

November 11th Thankful:
the hard work and sacrifice from our veterans and all the other people out there who give selflessly and expect nothing in return

November 12th Thankful:
that I live close to the ocean and get to see it every day. Even when the wind picks up exponentially when in close proximity to the water.

November 13th Thankful:
that I am lucky enough to be able to share with those less fortunate.

Daylight Savings Blues

2011-11-09T20:28:00.000-08:00

Whew! I have been exhausted all week. I haven't adjusted to the time change yet. It's amazing how just one hour can cause such chaos inside my little ol' body. I've been ready to fall asleep at the drop of a hat and eat everything is sight all week. I've been getting up at the same time every day (my bladder hasn't adjusted to the time change) yet I feel like I've been working for two hours extra because its so dark. Just one little hour. It's kicking my ass!

Yesterday I was thankful for:
my co-workers. they are great

Today I am thankful for:
my patients. I have such a great caseload of nice people right now!

Tuesday's Bad Dates: New Hampshire styel

2011-11-08T18:40:00.001-08:00

Last weekend, in addition to spending time with lots of cool people for a cool cause, I also spent some time in a bar in a ski town in New Hampshire before ski season. It's a lot like spending time in bar in Cape Cod in March.

Lots of local yokels and a spattering of tourists who are disappointed that tourist season isn't in full swing. So they drink and act like buffoons. Of course, last weekend, it was more like lots of tourists and a spattering of local yokels. And me right in the middle, taking full advantage of the last vestiges of pumpkin ale before it disappears for another year.

If I could have a dollar for every time somebody picked me up in a bear hug and walked me across the room without my consent, I'd have...well...six dollars. But hey- that's at least 3 bear hugs too many!

But the walking bear hugs weren't my big problem.

I went into a bar with some friends to play fooze ball and air-hockey for a while. Turns out, quite a few of the 200 plus volunteers were in this bar, as well. Never did get around to air-hockey. But I did talk to quite a few of the volunteer people. Plus a couple guys who I thought were part of our giant group but actually weren't.

They were actually up in New Hampshire doing some winter camping. "Oh! Winter camping!" I whined. "I miss winter camping! I haven't been in years." So one of the guys, Quinn, asked where I had been winter camping. I replied that I had been in Utah, Texas, Washington, Oregon, and my favorite winter camping spot, Yosemite National Park. "Do you have any tips for winter camping?" he asked. "Get good gear," I replied. "Keep your clothes inside your sleeping bag, and sleep on top of your boots so they don't freeze." "Well, I thought we had good gear. But I'm still really cold." he said. "We stopped at Dick's on the way up and bought all our stuff." "Dick's!" I screamed, "You can't get good winter camping gear at Dick's! It's like 20 degrees out there! Dick's sells bags for, like, 50 degrees. You need to go to REI or EMS and get a zero bag! You should really get a hotel room tonite." "Maybe I could stay in your hotel room" he said. "Yeah, no." I said. "We need to change the direction of this conversation now."

"Ok, how bout...you tell me what are your vices?" he said. "Ok. I drink way too much Diet Coke. I eat too much junk. And I don't get enough sleep. Those are my vices. What about you?" "BORING!" he said. "Your so called vices are going to put me to sleep." "Well, what do you want me to say? That I'm a heroin addict? I drink too much Diet Coke, eat too much junk, and don't get enough sleep. I have no idea what you are looking for with this." "How about...I have sex with random strangers I meet in New Hampshire." he said.

Here's the deal. I don't know what was more pathetic. His God-awful attempt at a pick up line or the fact that this did not phase me a bit. Not one bit. It's like I expect behavior like this. Because I said: "Good try. But no. I guess you had to give it a shot. But that ain't happening. Not a chance. So...it was nice talking to you for a while. But I think we're done. Have fun camping and don't freeze to death."

Like the "criticism sandwich" you are taught about when coaching: compliment, constructive criticism, another compliment. That's how I respond to creepy guys in bars. God forbid I harm their self-esteem or anything!

looking forward to a good winter

2011-11-07T18:43:00.001-08:00

Last weekend, I was up in New Hampshire, attending an orientation weekend for volunteers for the adaptive skiing program run by New England Disabled Sports (NEDS). It is a fantastic organization and I am so lucky to be doing some work with these guys this year.

First off, let me say that I am simply not in the same league as the rest of the volunteers for this program. I am merely somebody who will be accompanying some clients up in a van to try some skiing (many for the first time). The rest of the volunteers are super-duper expert skiers who pledge 20 days of their ski time over the season to assist people with spinal cord injuries, strokes, CP, MS, autism, amputations, and any number of other ailments to ski. That's a pretty big commitment. That's a pretty great bunch of folks.

I only hope I'll be of some sort of help when I go up, not a clumsy doofus who creates more of a problem just by being there. I can ski. But I'm not great at it. Plus, after living on the west coast for so long, I moved back to New England, went skiing once, and declared the skiing here "Absolutely sucky and not even worth it." Then I proceeded to spend my winters in the gym or on the sofa or sometimes winter running but never on a mountain, which is really where any self respecting outdoor person should be in the winter.

Sometimes it takes something bigger than yourself to motivate you and bring you back to things you used to love (and can love again, given the chance). So instead of moaning and groaning this winter about how much I hate being cold, I'm going to go hang out with some really cool people and have some fun. Maybe, in the process, help some folks who never had the chance to hang out on a mountain in the snow to love it, as well.

It's gonna be a good winter. I can't wait.

(that may be the first time in my life I've ever said that)

TODAY I AM THANKFUL FOR:
skiing.

Back from a long weekend

2011-11-06T19:46:00.000-08:00

Back after a weekend away doing some orientation stuff for winter adaptive sports. LONG weekend...made even longer by an extra hour. And I, like an idiot, chose not to use that extra hour to SLEEP, but to exercise. (Hence my exhaustion tonight)

But along with my new found faith in long runs, this weekend I have added a new found faith in people. I met a lot of really great people. (along with a lot of really local yokels and touristy jackasses which just reinforced my faith in the old adage: "The more things change, the more they stay the same") But it's November. Time to focus on the positive and the things to be thankful for.

Yesterday I was thankful for:
pumpkin beer (gotta enjoy it while its still here!)

Today I was thankful for:
hidden hiking trails (found one this morning and ran it)

successful long run

2011-11-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I headed out for a nice, long run. 14 miles. Really starting to kick up the mileage in the marathon training program. And the magical point which, for me, is the transition to REAL distance. (It's always been 14 miles. That's when it feel like a LONG distance) It's also when the mental benefits of long runs kick in.

Last weekend was a 13 mile run. Not much shorter. And really? I should have been feeling those mental benefits last week. But with the impending storm moving in, I was focused on getting the miles all done before the wind and rain and possible snow started. So I started mixing workouts. Distance + speed + intervals. It's kind of like mixing beer + wine + hard liquor. After 13 miles of tempo plus ladder intervals and ending with more tempo, I felt like I had just ingested a few red party cups of Jungle Juice. And the next day I pretty much felt like I had gotten run over by a truck. So much for the nice, relaxing, Zen effects of long runs.

This week was different. This week I focused on the LSD I can become so addicted to. (don't worry...Long Slow Distance! I'm not turning to pharmacology just yet) This week, my brain cooperated, as well.

The last marathon I trained for specifically to empty my head I was so happy to find that the endlessly chattering voice in my head shut up on long runs. Yesterday, I found something different. The chattering voice came back. Which was a good thing, this time. Because as endlessly chattering as that voice is, at least it's sort of happy. Upbeat. Optimistic. Though at times annoying.

What I hadn't fully realized until yesterday was that the voice in my head over the past few months has been angry. Really, really angry. Without justifying it or getting into the ugly details, I'll just say that I did have reason to be angry. But I never knew that the anger would take up permanent residence in my head. And make me into an angry person.

I mean, there's angry and then there's ANGRY. I was angry with a lower-case l. But even that's too much. It's just not me. Yet it had become me.

So somewhere between mile 5 and 6, the anger melted away. It didn't melt away and drift off with the tide, but it stopped talking. And the chipmunk voice came back. I missed that chipmunk voice! It plans and arranges and supposes and what-if's almost to the point of obsession. But it never feels like taking a Louisville Slugger to somebody's head. It's a happy voice!

So even though when I was driving home from the canal, the angry voice tried to weasel its way back into my head, I recognized it and was able to shut it out.

Chipmunk: 1, weasel: 0.

And that's what I call a successful run!

Next week I do 15.

Chaos Theories

2011-11-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, so once again, I must ask: WHAT IS UP WITH THE UNIVERSE?

2011 seems to be the year of chaos. Any physicists out there, feel free to email me and explain the finer intricacies of chaos theory and how it came to cumulate in 2011. (Or maybe I'm just some kind of vortex pulling in bad energy this year?)

Finally, I've moved onto a place where there is no more bad energy at home. Now work is in absolute chaos.

Weird stuff. Yesterday, two people walked out...just walked out in the middle of the work day...in tears. I have no idea why. There was lots of speculation and theories flying around the staff room yesterday evening, but no rock solid evidence.The afternoon was spent running around like lunatics trying to accommodate their patients and workload. (We got it done, though. We are awesome)

Until now, work has been, sadly, the one consistent thing in my life. Sure, there were little annoyances, as there always are in any work situation, but for the most part, it was -- well-- work. Go, do my job, come home. Now, it's drama. What's up with that?

Is it me? Am I exuding some kind of chaos pheromone that causes those in close proximity to me to have meltdowns? Is there a soap for that?

Will 2012 change all that? Or is the Aztec prediction going to come true and the world will end in 2012? Maybe I'm merely a seisometer to the upcoming disaster.

I got plans, though, and the end of the world will really mess them up.

Yesterday, I was thankful for:
starting a new book
And today I am grateful for:
long runs.

Boom Boom Pow

2011-11-02T19:17:00.000-07:00

So today, I was walking into the gym while this guy was walking out. He gave me a once over and said "BOOM."

Not sure what that meant.

But I decided to take it as a compliment and said "Thank you" before going in and working out.

Boom.

Today I am thankful for:
ambiguity

november goals

2011-11-01T19:09:00.000-07:00

Happy November Everyone!

I have officially been in my new place for one month today. And I didn't fully realize what bad energy was floating around my old place until I was out. It's much better here. I can sleep. Even when things were better at my old place I couldn't sleep. Now...well...things are always better when you can sleep!

Anyhow, now that I'm a little more settled and a lot more rested, it's time to jump back into my nice little bloggie routine that I have been neglecting for the past 8 months!

Which, in JeepGirl land means

Goals for November:

(where would I be without my goal lists?)

1) Stick to my marathon training plan.
Despite my more relaxed place and better sleeping habits, my running has still been a bit sporadic. Not good when a marathon is looming. It's ok though. I can ramp it up.

2) Start weight training again.
Now that I've eased back into cardio, time to pile the weights back on. So I can take off the weight I piled on.

3) Journal Daily
Fell out of that habit for a while. And felt a little lost. Journaling, I have found, like exercise, keeps me grounded.

4) Eat Clean.
Or cleaner, anyway. Just as soon as I finish this handful of candy corn. Totally. I swear. I'm starting now.

5) Read and get rid of 5 books this month
I got too many books. I really do.

6) Turn in my recert info for adaptive technology professional.

7) And my kinesiotape certification stuff.
(and maybe cut the crap with all this certification stuff. seriously)

8) Book my plane tickets for marathon in January and my big trip in March
I'll share more about that later. It's going to be SOOO cool!

9) Get rid of 5 DVD from my basket of DVDs.
How the heck did so many accumulate?

10) Drink a 8 - 10 glasses of water daily.

In a weird way, I started feeling bad about myself when I was writing goals down on a little sticky yesterday. I mean, how many times do I have to try to accomplish the same goals over and over again? But then, I read something on Facebook from an acquaintance of mine. He lost 150# three years ago and now works for that Herbalife company as a spokesperson of sorts. Seems he had some hard things in his life this year and he put 60 pounds back on. And he was posting a very humble post about starting all over again from square one. I didn't feel like HE was a failure. I thought that he was very brave for starting all over again. So why didn't I feel like that about myself when I keep revisiting the same goals? I really should.

I keep attempting the same goals repeatedly. Maybe they are just very worthwhile goals, eh?

And, because November is Thanksgiving month:

TODAY I AM GRATEFUL FOR:
my new apartment.

breathe

2011-10-20T20:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I just need to remind myself that there are only TWO things I need to accomplish each day:

1) breathe in

2) breathe out

sigh.

RECLAIMATION

2011-10-19T18:42:00.000-07:00

So...the dilemma I have been facing is this: how do you move back into the center of your own life when you have been living at the perimeter for too long? It's harder than you'd expect. And I really don't have all the answers, even though I scoured Oprah magazine at the gym for several nights. I've been left to figure it out on my own. So far, this is what I've come up with

HOW TO RECLAIM YOUR LIFE

1) Be outside as much as possible
I find that when I'm inside, there are too many unhealthy distractions. Too many things to obsess about. Too many things to keep my focus outside myself. But when I'm outside, the opposite happens. First, my attention is pulled outside my scattered brain. Then as I absorb all the good, nature-y things around me, I feel myself being pulled back in. But lower. I feel centered somewhere around the bottom of my rib cage. And my diaphragm doesn't chatter incessantly like my brain. It just breathes.
I'm happy the weather has been nice on my days off. I'm especially happy that my new place is one mile from the beach.

2) Downsize
Getting rid of things has been an ongoing theme in my life. And for the most part, I don't have a lot of stuff. So how come when I moved, I ended up moving so much STUFF? It would make more sense to purge before a move. But it's much easier to purge after you've had to lug all your crap from one place to another. As I've unpacked, I've thought: really? REALLY? I kept that? For what? Then other things, I have to "go through". And still others, I need to use, or wear, or read and then decide. My goal, in 6 -12 months is to cut down by half. (I got way too many books) The nice thing is: as I downsize, I feel lighter. And freer. And more me.

3) Clean UP
In the weirdest way, on my day off, as I go through my weekly chores of laundry and vacuuming and doing the dishes and cleaning the bathroom and going grocery shopping, I feel centered and at peace. And happy. I never thought that cleaning would make me happy. But having control over my own environment sure does. And cleaning gives me a sense of control.

4) Volunteer
I've been doing a lot of volunteering with the adaptive sports program we have at work. And another organization that does hiking with disabled folks. It feels good. (and goes nicely with the be outside goal, too) I may check out the local animal shelter one day a month, too. I'll see if I have the time.

5) Drink lots of tea
It's a nice little ritual I got into since my move to my new place. It's a nice transition to sleepy time from work-and-work-out time. Plus, it keeps me from eating at night.

6) Cut down on the junk food
I was stressed out a lot this year. And I ate a lot of junk this year. (I'm a stress eater!) As a result, I put on some weight this year. (thank goodness I got all those cute tankini's last year on sale!) So now, I'm trying to get back to my happy weight and my happy state of health.

7) Train for another marathon
I've just never found a more effective way to move past something bad and onto something good than in running long distances according to a specific plan with a specific time frame and a concrete goal. Marathon training is the best! Plus, this particular marathon has Mickey Mouse and Goofy along the route! (Disney 2012!)

8) Spend time with your dad!
My dad helped me move. My dad helped me clean out the jeep and put the hard top on last weekend (so sad to put the soft top away) My dad showed up at my place with all new cleaning stuff, picture hooks, batteries, light bulbs, and easy to cook food for the first week. My dad is the best. I've felt better since hanging out with my dad.

9) Tie up as many loose ends as possible
I haven't been able to tie up the BIG ones. But I'm trying to keep all the little things in a state of completion. At home. At work. At the gym. In the car. No half done daily notes before I leave. No dishes left in the sink. No laundry left on the floor. No recycling sitting on the passenger seat of the car for three days until I make it to the recycling center. Everything is started and finished. Nothing to distract me. Nothing to keep me from being front and center!

10) Start blogging again
I started blogging way back when to "find my voice" once again when I forgot who I was. And now I'm back. For the same reason.

Let the journey begin!!

Getting Back to Center

2011-10-17T20:06:00.000-07:00

So I've been away for a while. A long while. But I'm back now.

I've moved out of the Garaje Mahal and into a new place. I got my internet hooked up. I'm trying to get my life back.

Long story short...my life was hijacked over the last few months. That's right -- hijacked! For several months, my life was not my own. My thoughts and deeds and emotions were spent on somebody else's agenda. Their problems became my problems. Their drama became my drama. My life became a distant glimmer on the horizon of which I had a vague recollection. I was downgraded to supporting player.

How did I let that happen? Well, yes, I've always been the kind of person who doesn't seek the spotlight. I don't like a lot of fanfare and fuss. I don't want my picture on a cereal box. I don't incessantly post updates on Facebook about how my day was better than your day. I don't write empassioned letters to the editor and sign my name like John Hancock. I blog anonymously.

But still....to paraphrase Sting: "In this theater I call my soul, SHOULDN'T I play the starring role?"

Maybe it all starts when you start identifying with those bit players. The supporting cast. I always liked them better, anyway. And I sort of saw myself as a quirky, quick witted Joan Cusack kind of girl, rather than a Julia Roberts kind of girl. Those girls could get away with things like wearing ridiculously out of place outfits to formal events and everyone let them. Laughed with them. Admired their spunk. Who wouldn't want to go to a dinner party with Jennifer Coolidge and Annie Potts? Who doesn't love Rose, the crazy neighbor from Two and a Half Men? I sure love em! I sure want to be em!

But maybe the zany, left of center persona comes with a price. I never wanted to live in Kate Winslet's shadow. But I haven't seen direct sunlight in a while.

SO now that I'm back with my new internet connection and my new place (so new, I don't have a fun little nickname for it yet. But it has buttery yellow walls. Which may come into play in the naming ceremony) And I'm thinking.... maybe it's time to be Sandra Bullock for a while.

Just sayin'.

Independence Day

2011-07-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

"Come gather 'round people * Wherever you roam * And admit that the waters * Around you have grown * And accept it that soon * You'll be drenched to the bone ** If your time to you is worth savin' * Then you'd better start swimmin' * Or you'll sink like a stone * For the times they are a-changin'" ---Bob Dylan

So July 4th has come and gone and things are good, but very different than they were a year ago. Around Christmastime, the air fills with the sound of that old holiday stand-by: "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year." While some will hear that song and truly believe that Christmastime fits the bill, I'll always think of July 4th when I hear it.

Maybe it's from growing up near the beach. The weather gets warmer, the summer people come back to open up their cottages, and suddenly your pool of friends doubles. The summer friends come back in fits and dribbles, but everyone is sure to be there by July 3rd (the nite of bonfires and bottlerockets in the sand) and July 4th (parade, beach, and fireworks on the waterfront). The excitement never dies, no matter how old I've become.

Or so I thought.

Sometimes it takes an earth-shattering change to make you face what you've been slowly realizing for a while. That the excitement has given way to a been there, done that, sort of resignation. That memories of last year, and the year before, and the year before that, all seem to include you saying: "Well, next year will be better." That you can clearly remember feeling relieved the year you got the flu and had to sit this one out. That many of your friends from years ago have little in common with you anymore except geographic closeness and bonfires on July 3rd.

This year, we skipped July 3rd altogether in lieu of the playground and movie nite in. This year we picked a different spot to watch the parade. This year, July 4th was spent on a different beach with a different group of people and a totally different vibe. This year the fireworks were watched not from the waterfront, but from across the bay on a blanket in the sand with a tiny little fire and an acoustic guitar playing.

This year, I learned that sometimes we do things only because we've done them that way so many times in the past. They aren't necessarily the best things for us now. And when we reach out of that comfort zone, sometimes we discover that there are better things out there, if we just look.

It's time to start looking. It's summertime. The most wonderful time of the year.

Summer day

2011-07-02T17:12:00.000-07:00

So today was the day that I took control and decided to live my life the way I want and ignore the rest of the drama. Rollerbladed 9 miles along the canal in the am, went to the farmer's market (very low turnout of vendors today, I'm wondering if the holiday weekend in the beach town kept them away) and then to the beach. Feeling like a summertime girl again! Top off the jeep, ocean water feeling warm, and a ridiculously lite chick-lit book in my beach bag. (I even got a once over from a cute hottie about 15 years younger than me)

Summer's looking up.

One July Goal

2011-07-01T14:51:00.000-07:00

I've been away for a while. A long while.

Whenever one of my regular bloggie friends whom I read takes a hiatus, I like to imagine that life is going swimmingly for them; that they are too busy having fun to stop and write about it on a computer, for crying out loud! I like to think that the opposite isn't true.

In my case, the opposite was true.

It's been a trying couple months, filled with court appearances and restraining orders and other such horrible things that you never wish to have in your life. It's been sucky. And it's not over yet. Far from it.

To think that just 3 months ago, I was bemoaning how boring my life was and how I needed to shake things up a bit. This is not what I meant.

When I started blogging, way back when, it was a way to find my way out from a different life crisis. (Which seems oh-so-quaint and manageable now) At the time it seemed much more pressing.

I had lost myself. I had no idea who I was anymore. I felt like I no longer had a voice. So I started this silly little blog to just write something...anything....until I found my voice and myself again.

Plus, I discovered that between blogging and marathon training, my insomnia went away and I felt like a person. (If you want to feel like anything, feeling like a person is a good start!)

In the past two months, insomnia has returned. Exercise and tri training has evaporated. I've been cranky as hell. My food choices are in the toilet. And I'm a caffeine addict again.

And now it's July. July 1st to be exact, which has always felt like more of the beginning of summer, up in New England. Especially with the rainy June we had this year. So maybe it can be a beginning of another sort.

Once again, I find myself at the keyboard, humble and just looking to say something...anything... to make me feel like a person again. To make me feel like me again.

I, the poster of goals, the maker of lists, the assigner of "days" to "themes" (Tuesday's bad dates, Thursday's bad cooking, Friday's wrap up, Monday's charity) have but one purpose this July: Just be here. Just write something. Just pull myself kicking back up from the depths, back to the surface where I can breathe.

'Cause if you can't breathe, you can't laugh.

And laughing is what makes you feel like less of a person and more of a goddess.

May Goals

2011-05-02T18:56:00.000-07:00

And here we are in May. I haven't been around in bloggie world a lot in April. I've been a bit enamoured with paper journals and colorful pens. Something is just so soothing about your hand moving across the page and the feel of the paper beneath your fingers. Computers just don't have that tactile soothing quality.

Anyway, April was strange, just as March was. My little JeepGirl world is in upheaval and I'm just at the periphery of the problem. It's as if my entire existence now revolves around "being there". With a shoulder to cry on. A comforting word. Or a handful of chocolaty something. Sometimes that's the most important thing you can do.

Anyway, in light of that, a lot of my own goals took a back seat. Which is OK. I guess. Life is like that, sometimes.

April Goals:

1) Go Vegan for a month: I ended up going about 80/ 20. Feeling better overall. But I did learn that I need to pack more snacks for work. 11-12 hour work days followed by the gym requires lots of nourishment.

2) Read 4 books: This month I read Zero Regrets by Apolo Ohno (liked it a lot), The Alexander Technique (kind of a posture and body alignment theory thing. Work stuff) Dedication by Emma Mc Laughlin and Nicola Kraus (the authors behind The Nanny Diaries. I liked Dedication. It was very funny) and I'm half way through Power vs Force by David R Hawkins (It was given to me by an old coworker. I like some of the stuff, but some is quite out there. I'll let you know when I'm done). I'm thinking in the months to follow, I may choose my monthly books -- mind, body, spirit, and fun.

3) Continue Tri Training: This has been going, but quite sporadically. I have some great workouts under my belt. The mileage is going up. The strength training is consistent. But sometimes a brick workout has to take a back seat to being a good friend. So I'll finish the races. But I won't be fast.

4) Study and pass Kinesiotaping exam: Almost. I took the class, but due to a registration snafu, I'm waiting to get my exam registration details to take it on line. Next month.

5) File taxes. Done. What a pain that is.

6) Spring Cleaning with a major trip to the thrift store: Done. It's looking more clear in here.

7) Daily Journaling: 3/4 credit. I missed one week

8) Girl's Day Out: Success. We saw Water for Elephants at the movies. I thought it was pretty true to the book. I liked it. And I didn't find Robert Pattinson completely annoying the way I do in the Twilight films. So thumbs up.

9) Have a great Easter with the kids: success

10) Hang with Nerd: Fail. Sometimes a nerd takes a back seat to being a good friend, too.

And now its May. And the weather has FINALLY started to warm up! So its high time to

1) Do the winter/summer clothes switch. And get rid of stuff I don't wear.

2) Read 4 books -- mind body spirit fun

3) Send 4 snail mail letters. I'm still in the paper and pen state of mind.

4) Get summer race schedule set and summer fun schedule set, too!

5) Make 3 contacts at Abilities Expo

6) Get aerobars on the bike!

7) Brick workouts, brick workouts, brick workouts

8) Daily journaling in my paper journal :)

9) Have a great time at my nephew's birthday party

10) Finish half marathon in less than 2 hours.

2011-04-11T19:39:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling so behind! In so many ways. Mostly with the whole one charity a week thing. When I last posted, I was on my way to the Caribbean and talked about donating to the Red Cross in reference to the earthquake in Haiti last year. Then, while I was on vacation, another earthquake hit in Japan. Followed by giant tsunami. And a problem with a nuclear power plant. Oh, those poor people! Can you imagine? And where the heck do you go to get away when you are on an island? So once again, the Red Cross it is, earmarked for Japan relief. Also, a while back, I had mentioned that I may have a chance to run the Boston Marathon for a charity event. Alas, I did not win out in that lottery. But one of my co-workers did. So I'm donating to her fund raising effort. Money goes to Spaulding Rehab for a patient fund. In other news, I've been doing the vegan thing for one week. A couple slip ups: I went out for mexican and my veggie burrito with salsa and guac only ended up with a little cheese in it. (I didn't send it back. I just ate it) Plus, I have a few protein bars left that have whey in them. I didn't throw them away, I ate a couple last week. But I'm one pound lighter than last week. So there's that. Finished book #1 yesterday. And taking the training up a notch. Yeah, I'm feeling like I'm back.

april goals

2011-04-08T20:24:00.000-07:00

Since March threw me a curve ball, my goals were largely undone. Well, a couple got done. I did have a great vacation. I did read 4 books. And I did do (at least) 4 brick workouts. So there's that. And April , though we are already more than a week in, looks very promising. And spring is trying to creep its way in. There's that, too. April Goals: 1) Go Vegan for the month: I got a link sent to me about a 21 vegan kickstart challenge here. So I tried it. Thus far, its been going pretty well. The food is good, I'm using the crock pot again, and aside from a little excess gassiness (TMI?) no problem-o. We'll see where I am at the end of the month. 2) Read 4 more books: Last month, I completed Think Twice, Go Your Own Way, Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married, Networking for People who Hate Networking, and The Nanny Returns. I had a week's vacation. Lots of reading time. This month, I am into "Zero Regrets", a memoir by my celebrity boyfriend, Apolo Ohno. Lovin it! 3) Continue Tri Training with a vengence 4) Study for and pass Kinesiotaping exam! 5) Get my taxes all filed & shit. 6) Spring Cleaning with a major trip to the thrift store for donating! 7) Daily journaling 8) Girl's day out 9) Have a great family Easter with the kiddies 10) Hang with Nerd. (He got dropped from the forefront last month) And there you have it. I'll keep posting in all my sore-muscle, Apolo-obsessed, extra-gassy glory!

She's baaaack.

2011-04-04T20:19:00.000-07:00

So I'm back. It's April 4th and I'm back. Not that I went away...I was still around, reading everyone else's blogs, occasionally posting a comment, and unsuccessfully trying to update the December quote on the side of my page. (Seriously Blogger! Why do you keep freezing up every time I try to change my page? WTF???) In real life, I've been doing a lot of thinking. A lot of soul searching. A little new apartment searching. But as of now, I'm staying put. Doing a lot of hand holding and lending my shoulder out to cry on. It's what friends do. When we can't do anything else. That was March. And now it's April. I decided on Friday, April 1st (when I was doing my "I'm stressed out and there's nothing I can do about it 3 1/2 hour workout") that I really need to turn the focus back to myself and start taking care again. There's only so many pints of ice cream three girls can share while watching chick flicks before it starts to take its toll, crazy long workouts or not. It goes without saying that March's goals pretty much went out the window. So now I'm making some new goals for April. ANd coming back to this place. To keep me on track. See y'all tomorrow

2011-03-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

Life has suddenly become very complicated. Before I left for vacation, a had a little trouble here or there, but overall, things were pretty straightforward. I may not have always enjoyed everything I was doing at all times, but at least everything made sense.

I came back from vacation and everything has been turned upside down.

Two of my friends who have been together forever are ending things. They have built a life together over the past 17 years, and now they don't want to be together anymore.

I'm heartbroken for them both.

I want to be a non-issue in this whole ordeal.

But somehow, I feel myself being pulled into it. I don't want to be caught in the middle.

I have some thinking to do...

post vacation pooped

2011-03-13T17:34:00.000-07:00

Hello all you bloggie peeps! I'm back from my wonderful trip to Turks & Caicos. I believe I may have found my most favorite place on earth, so far. Great weather; white, powdery sand; turquoise water that is exactly the right temperature and saltiness; friendly marine life; and a nice breeze all the time. (I might have to trade in this glamourous life of mine and just move down there)

Now I'm suffering from post vacation fatigue. (mechanical problem on the plane caused a delay which got me home at 3:30am PLUS we lost that hour today)

Back in full form tomorrow, I hope

charity times two

2011-03-04T11:44:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, I am heading out to the Caribbean for a vacation. I'll tell you all about it upon my return!

For the past couple weeks, I've been saying "It doesn't really matter what island you pick, eh? Any island in the Caribbean is going to be great."

With one exception, of course. (well, half and island as the exception) I'm talking, of course, of Haiti which is still in turmoil after the earthquake last year. Progress has been made in cleaning up the mess, setting up schools and medical centers, and getting food and water to the people of Haiti. But there still is no real infrastructure. And chaos continues.

So as I embark on a trip to that beautiful area of the world, my charity (for the next two weeks) is a charity that specializes in disaster relief like that of Haiti. I doubled the usual weekly 25 to 50 and chose the Red Cross.

You can read about their efforts at their website. They also provide relief more locally and to military families who need assistance.

Check it out and have a great week!

2011-03-03T21:08:00.000-08:00

What is it about the last week of work before a vacation? Not only was the workload huge, but the clinic was in total mayhem.

Sun and beach, here I come!

Bad Date a Couple Days Late

2011-03-02T17:47:00.000-08:00

The last time I was bemoaning my sheer lack of luck in dating, we were right smack in the middle of a dinner date that more or less resembled the Mad Hatter's tea party. Paul, my "date" was halfway down the table, chatting and buzzing and socializing with just about everyone EXCEPT me. I had had a conversation with some puffed up self absorbed dude who, as far as I could tell, did NOTHING. And did I mention (once or twice?) that everyone at this dinner had a PhD. Except me.

So after my conversation with the economist ended on a sour note, I looked to my right and left and struck up a conversation with the two girls on either side of me. Let's call them Amelia and Bedilia.

Amelia had a PhD in art history. (This dinner took place before my trip to Italy when I realized that if I had majored in art history, I could have traveled to Rome on an internship and could now be giving tours of the Vatican, looking at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel every day and getting paid for it!) This dinner took place when I heard "art history degree" and thought "useless"! Of course, Amelia did nothing to change this point of view.

Amelia worked at the Museum of Fine Arts.

"Oh, wow!" I said. "So, do you, like, put together exhibits?" No.

"Compose those plaques they have on the wall explaining the paintings?" No.

"Give tours?" No.

Amelia worked in the gift shop and behind the admission desk.

(Amelia and Bedelia had exchanged a knowing look over my head, like "she doesn't know how competitive the world of art history is") Hey, competitive or not, I was duly unimpressed. My friend's mother worked in the gift shop and behind the desk at the MOFA. As a volunteer. In exchange for free admission to the museum for herself and family members. No degree needed.

And what the heck was Bedelia doing, acting like she had an in on the inner workings of a museum? Her PhD was in something like marketing. (can you get a PhD in marketing? Or am I remembering incorrectly?) Anyway, Bedelia worked for some apparently super-famous person who I never heard of. And it was really really exciting. Because she made all kinds of contacts with other super famous important people.

"And what sorts of things do you do for your work?" I asked her.

Bedelia, the PhD graduate, got coffee and picked up dry cleaning for some super famous person. She got her car washed and bought birthday presents for her employer's neices and made appointments for manicures and hair cuts. Bedelia was a personal assistant.

Again...does this require a degree?

Why was everyone at this table so self absorbed when they were so boring?

Why hasn't one person at this table asked me what I do for a living?

And where the hell was my date?

I finally found Paul right around the time we were divying up the bill. (He paid. I figured it was the least he could do) And on the way home, he went on and on about how amazing this group of people were and wasn't I glad I got to meet them?

And then he asked me when I was going to go back to school.

Right around the time of our next date.

March goals

2011-03-01T19:50:00.000-08:00

Happy March! I'm not sure if it is purely psychological or if I just suffer from seasonal affective disorder, but February always gets me down. Just writing "3" at the beginning of the date today made me feel infinitely better. Plus, the sun was out today!

And on this day, the first day of the month, its time to review all the goals that I fell short of last month:

February Goals:

1) Increase water intake to 8 glasses a day: not fully. I'm still working on it. Last half of the month I reverted to diet Coke again.

2) Transition from working out to training: success! Despite last week's cold and decreased exercise, I'm well on my way to increasing milage in all three phases of the race!

3) Go on a winter hike: fail. epic fail. no winter hike. more like winter hibernation

4) Feng Shui the apartment: success. (what else was I to do when I was holed up, hibernating?) It was kind of fun, cleaning, re-organizing, and rethinking the place I live.

5) Finish 3 more books: Success! I read: "Younger", "Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life" (the feng shui book, and "VisionBoard".

6) 4 more snail mail letters: done. my friends will be wondering if I was somehow transported back to the 1930's!

7) Ride bike outside 2 times: yeah, no. Not even close

8) Go out to movies with J and S: that didn't happen, either. I asked and tried to plan. But J and K were even more sluggish than me last month!

9) Complete 2 more projects from the project box: ok, that was a success. Funny how the "stay at home and putter around" goals got done and the "go out and do something" goals did not.

10) Get spectacular valentine's day presents for the kiddies: done. Love giving books for gifts.

And now on to March:

1) Water intake again

2) 6-8 servings of veggies a day

3) 4 brick workouts

4) 4 books read

5) begin studying for kinesiotaping exam

6) 2 projects done

7) have a great vacation!

8) daily blog post (except for when I'm away!)

9) Go out to the movies with J and K, REALLY!

10) hang out with Nerd!

(ok, maybe they seem kind of lame. I didn't plan ahead and was just winging it. Goals subject to change)

More things that make me happy

2011-02-27T10:51:00.000-08:00

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can bust out of this winter blah mode I've been in. I think seasonal affective disorder is no match for happy thoughts.... 20 of them

20 things that make me happy:

101) the Oscars. (in general I'm not a fan of award shows. But I do like the oscars)
I'm looking forward to this years because I like:

102) James Franco (I like Anne Hathaway too, but not enough to include her on the list)

103) My new tankini ( I got it super cheap at the Title 9 warehouse sale)

104) the Title 9 catalog (if I won the lottery I'd buy everything in it) as well as the:

105) Athleta catalog and:

106) REI. Basically, I'd spend my entire fortune on outdoor & athletic equipment and cute sporty clothes. Not really. I'd:

107) Travel, too. Travelling makes me very happy.

108) Dreaming about winning the lottery (and all the travelling I'd do afterward makes me happy, too. I mean, not in a dysfunctional, I don't want to take responsibility for my life kind of way, just in a daydreamy kind of way.)

109) Exercise classes. Generally, I'm a solo kind of exercise girl, but lately with my poor motivation I've been hitting some classes. The gym likes you to reserve a spot ahead of time, which I do, and that makes me go. Which is a good thing.

110) Hooded sweatshirts. (Is there any more perfect article of clothing? Its better than a LBD)

111) Ice skating I've been a couple times this year with my neice and nephew. I'd forgotten how much I like it

112) Soup Been eating alot of soup lately b/c of my cold. It's good.

113) Packing for a trip (it involves two of my other favorite things: lists and travel!)

114) Sun dresses They are cute. And I look good in them!

115) Mark Wahlberg I wasn't a fan back when he was Markie Mark. But I like him now. Especially when he has no shirt on!)

116) Collages

117) Ridiculous midnight drunken texts

118) When my friend calls and says she's in love. That makes me so happy.

119) When (other) friends take a risk.

120) And I have the chance to support them in that risk.

I feel happier already. How bout you?

Charity and whining

2011-02-26T17:21:00.000-08:00

Even though I began last week with lots of enthusiasm to post and exercise and work like crazy, things fizzled. I was fighting a cold all week and I decided to just go with it and rest. I didn't want a repeat of last December with the month long cold that turned into bronchitis and laryngitis.

Anyway, a week has passed and I think I've gotten this cold beat. So that's good.

But the exercise and daily posts? Not so good.

And here I find myself once again on Saturday thinking, I gotta post my charity of the week.

I also had great plans to do this cool charity race thing today called FIGHT FOR AIR CLIMB. It is a stair climb in a public building to benefit the American Lung Association. My sister in law and I were both going to do this event together.

But then she got the flu and I got a cold (I think I may have actually caught the cold from her kids. I talked to my brother this week and said "Your children are a menace. Sure, they look cute. But its all just a ploy to lure you in closer so they can infect you with their germs." He responded: "Tell me about it. They always get me with 'Daddy, can you tuck me in to bed?' ")

So anyway, we were both recouperating from our perspective illnesses and decided to forego these events. And even though I did feel better this morning and I probably could have gone and done the challenge as a last minute thing, I think the FIGHT FOR AIR may have been a bit too literal.

Instead, I'm just going to make a donation to the American Lung Association.

This is probably a good indication of how I'm feeling now: Climbofyourlife.org, lung cancer, research, asthma, blah blah blah. Go check it out on your own. I'm getting a cup of tea.

It'll put me in a better mood. I promise

Two worthy causes

2011-02-21T17:29:00.000-08:00

There is something about February. It should be called "Febru-weary". It's the shortest month that feels like the longest month. It's the winter doldrums.

Its the month I let blogging slide. (along with eating right and exercise, I'm sad to admit) Plus, I'm fighting a cold right now.

Fortunately, my present job gives us Presiden't Day off. It's the only job I've ever had where we get this day off. I did a lot of sleeping today, sleeping, drinking tea, taking cold medicine and catching up on things.

Including blogging!

So one of the big ideas for this year in blogging was the weekly charity donation thing. But I seem to have dropped the ball.

So in honor of this Presiden't "catch up day", I'm honoring two charities today. Two related charities.

A few years ago, I worked at a big medical center in Boston. A number of our patients were homeless. During a particularly cold winter like this one, homeless shelters are often booked over capacity with little funding.

When I lived in San Francisco and walked to work every day, I'd pass the same homeless people every day in the same spots. They'd say hi and I'd say hi and if I had a granola bar, I'd give it to them and if the light was against me, we'd talk before I crossed the street. It's much harder to think of homeless people as "less than people" when you see and talk to them every day.

So this week, I'm honoring two local homeless shelters for all the work they do.

The Pine Street Inn provides food, shelter, counseling, job training, and emergency assistance to homeless men and women.

Rosie's Place focuses on poor, homeless, and abused women. It provides food and shelter, advocacy, counseling, mental health and substance abuse treatment, housing assistance, job placement, and health care. They also have a nifty program where the women make and sell crafts that are worth checking out.

I encourage everyone to check out the above websites and also to learn about local shelters that you can support with a donation or by volunteering.

Have a great week!

Happy Heart Day

2011-02-14T19:34:00.000-08:00

So I've been absent the past week or so, simply because I've had "A case of the February's" You know like in the movie Office Space: "A case of the Monday's" Only this can last up to 28 days.
In short, I've been unmotivated, grumpy, freezing cold, with a desire to eat any and every morsel of comfort food in the vicinity.

And to make things even worse, up creeps Valentine's Day, the most annoying pseudo-holiday there is. (And no, it's not because I'm single. I hate Valentine's Day even more when I'm dating somebody)

So, today, since it was Valentine's Day, I decided that I'd acknowledge the day by doing extra cardio (get it? exercise for the heart? I'm so witty!) And guess what?

I think I cured my ailment!

Exercise rocks!

20 things that make me happy

2011-02-06T18:18:00.000-08:00

On this lovely Sunday, I'm happy. Here's 20 more reasons why:

81) The Superbowl
82) the half time show
83) the Superbowl commercials (so far, the Star Wars and the border guard Coke ones are my favorites)
84) Superbowl parties. (I'm not at one this year, but I still like em)
85) Jack La lane. (Though I always questioned his fashion sense in those jumpsuits, I never questioned his fitness advice. I thought he'd live forever)
86) brick workouts (I know I'm a dork. But they make me happy. During and after)
87) The show Glee (I watched a Glee marathon yesterday and loved it)
88) Shutting my phone off so nobody can text me
89) Turning down plans and not feeling bad about it (do I sound like a hermit?)
90) Girl Scout cookies
91) when my skinny jeans are loose :)
92) even though I've been eating Nutella all weekend
93) brussels sprouts
94) wrapping gifts (in recycled materials)
95) the heart shaped stone I have in my jacket pocket to rub when I'm bored or worried
96) scented candles
97) Apolo Ohno (he's my celebrity boyfriend. he's in a new Oreo commercial. it makes me happy)
98) Vega Whole Food Optimizer Shakes (they are delicious!)
99) the new pool I joined this weekend (so much nicer than the old pool I was going to at the high school)
100) my new bathing suit for lap swimming. (my other one literally disintegrated)

American Heart Association

2011-02-06T17:59:00.000-08:00

Since this week was the first week of February, I decided to go with a heart theme by choosing the American Heart Association as this week's charity. Like diabetes (and intrinsically related to diabetes), which we talked about last month, cardiovascular disease is one of the greatest health care risks in America. The American Heart Association aims to reduce cardiovascular disease through education, lifestyle changes, rehabilitation, and funding for research.

The have a fantastic interactive website, featuring risk calculators for heart attack, stroke, and other conditions, information and online communities for lifestyle changes such as starting a walking program, tools for finding CPR classes in your area, and lots of links for caregivers, health professionals, and family members. There's also a shop if you want to get one of those nifty little red dress pins that you see everywhere in February.

Since I just dropped $100 this week for a new pair of running shoes this week for my own cardiovascular health, I think its only fair that I can drop another $25 to promote cardiovascular health elsewhere. Check out their website and then go for a walk (or jog, or bike ride or do an exercise DVD while your kids are napping) Your heart will thank you.

Tuesday's Bad Dates -- Paul, part 2

2011-02-01T17:26:00.000-08:00

(continued from last week)

So there I was at a group dinner date. You'd have thought that Paul would have introduced me around. Or sat next to me. But somehow we ended up across the table from one another and, like, three people down. And I was left to make conversation with people in closer proximity to me all on my lonesome.

I first started talking to some guy whose name I forget. I'll just call him economist. 'Cause he had a PhD in economics. Which he told me right off the bat.

"Wow!" I said. "That's really interesting. So, Mr. Economist, what do you think of the state of our nation's economy presently?"

To which he responded: "Oh, I'm not THAT kind of economist."

(What other kind of economist is there?)

"What other kind of economist is there?" I asked.

I forget his exact response, but it did have the terms 'large scale corporations', 'global', and 'projections'.

"Oh. So, what do you DO, exactly?"

"I teach economics classes, (of course) and I write articles (of course) and I'm a corporate consultant (ah, yes. a consultant.)"

I got real excited and animated at this point: "Oh, that's really cool. I had a friend who worked as a corporate consultant. She did things like look at the procedures in companies and interview workers and review their finances. Then she saw what was working and what wasn't and made suggestions to make things work better. She recommended an inventory tracking software program for all the Disney Stores in the country and trained all the managers in how to use it. Of course, they are, like, bankrupt now- maybe it was her consultant fees! Ha Ha!"

"Yeah, I don't do that."

"Oh. So what DO you do, exactly?"

"I tell companies what I think is going to happen globally over the next 18 months and how they should prepare for it."

"Oh. So how do you make the projections for what's going to happen over the next 18 months?"

"Well, we consult journal articles."

"The journal articles that YOU write?"

"Yeah."

"Oh......so if you are wrong in your projections, do you give them their money back?"

"I can't be held responsible if the projections are wrong. Global economics is very complex"

(Can I just say here -- why the hell hadn't Paul, MY DATE, rescued me from this tool?) If he had, then I probably wouldn't have said:

"So you are kind of like that octopus that picked the world cup winners?"

Well, I thought it was funny. But I was forced to strike up a conversation with somebody else after that comment. And, no, that somebody else still wasn't my date for the night...

Goal Wrap UP

2011-01-31T19:02:00.000-08:00

January was a good month. It was cold and snowy and windy and just way too wintery for my taste. But it was a good month, nonetheless.

January Goals

1) Cut out meat and dairy: While I didn't cut it completely out, I cut back significantly. And you know what? I felt better. The biggest change was that I was a lot less cranky and irritable when I cut back on meat and dairy. Which is a good thing. Less cranky and irritable with myself, as well. So that on days when it was 9 below zero when I left the gym and I just couldn't get warm and I got the hungry horrors before bed, I didn't beat myself up about it. I just took things in stride and tried to make better choices most of the time.

2) Work out 30 times in 30 days: and then some. So much easier to meet this goal when I'm not sick as a dog. Feeling good and dropped 4 pounds this month, too.

3) Journal daily: done and done. (maybe my decrease in irritability is partly from journaling, too?)

4) Go on one winter hike: FAIL! I was just too cold and wimpy this month.

5) Get continuing ed classes set and turned in: DONE!

6) Go on 2 or more group runs: FAIL! (see #4)

7) Finish 3 Books this Month: check! I finished Lit by Mary Karr, Thrive by Brandon Brazier, and The Permanent Pain Cure by Ming Chew

8) Finish Two Projects from the Project Box: I finished two projects hanging around the apartment. Not necessarily from the project box, but it's a start.

9) Write 4 old fashioned snail mail letters to friends: DONE!

10) Have a girl's weekend: which unfortunately ended in hangovers and hugging the throne!

And now on to February. Ever notice that February is the shortest month, but it seems like the longest? But 2011 is off to a good start, to I just need to keep the momentum going.

February Goals:

1) Increase Water intake to 8 glasses a day: I keep coming back to this goal again and again, don't I? But I'm feeling so much better, I'm thinking the water will make me feel even better.

2) Transition from Exercising to Training for the half iron man: Getting started this week!

3) Go on winter hike: I know I can totally suck it up and plow through the snow. Once I get out there, I'll be totally happy.

4) Feng Shui the apartment: Did this a couple years ago. Basically, Feng Shui means "cleaning and organizing and arranging things in a nice way". But in the process, you also look a lot at what is going on in your life, what's going well, what's not so great, and what you want to do about it. What could be better than that?

5) Finish 3 more books

6) 4 more snail mail letters ( I just like sending things to people)

7) Ride bike outside (not just on trainer) 2 times

8) Go out to movies with J and S

9) Complete 2 more projects from project box

10) Get spectacular valentine's day presents for the kiddies!

20 more things that make me happy

2011-01-30T14:50:00.001-08:00

It's that time of the week again: time for happy thoughts

20 More things that make me happy.

61) Nerd (specifically)
62) nerds (in general)
63) the show Scrubs (clearly a show for nerds)
64) when everything is super clean and organized in my apartment
65) Sam Adams Light beer
66) diet Coke (there! I said it! I know I should be cutting down on caffeine, but I love it)
67) how pretty the trees look covered in snow
68) bargain book stores
69) butternut squash
70) back rubs
71) not having to be anywhere in particular on a weekend
72) snow days (not that I can stay home from work. But sometimes there's some free time to catch up. Which makes me happy)
73) slumber parties
74) my friend's new puppy, Banjo. (he's so cute)
75) a nice warm winter morning when I can go outside without freezing
76) lasagna
77) my foam roller for rolling out aches and pains
78) soft plush blankets
79) a relaxing nightly ritual
80) granny smith apples

The Life is Good Foundation

2011-01-30T14:25:00.000-08:00

Last summer, I went to the Life is Good concert, which benfits the Life is Good Foundation. I originally went just to see the bands and have a good time. But I did a lot of reading up on the foundation it supports and was very impressed.

The Life is Good Foundation was founded by the clothing company of the same name -- you know the Tshirts with the stick figure guy, Jake, and the fun, happy little sayings. I have about 7 shirts from this company as well as a spare tire cover for the jeep that says "Life is Good" with a little hippy flower.

The foundation is interesting in that it focuses on giving kids who have life threatening challenges (violence, poverty, illness, natural disasters) a chance to play. I find it rather unique that the focus is PLAY. Oftentimes, we forget about the chance to have fun and be joyful in the face of bigger problems. But for children, play is their work. Play is how they grow and mature and learn how to interact with others and how they learn. I love that this charity focuses on helping kids to play.

Two areas they are actively involved in are Haiti and the states bordering the Gulf of Mexico. And, yes, people there need food and water and clothing and shelter. But the kids also need some joy in their lives. The foundation also works in poverty stricken areas in cites, and homeless shelters.

Go here if you want to learn more about the Life is Good Foundation. You can donate or buy a shirt or a coffee mug or something if you wanna.

cooking for the clueless

2011-01-29T14:47:00.000-08:00

I've been working my way through the book Thrive by Brandon Brasier, a vegan triathlete. It has a lot of recipes that I've been working into my diet in an effort to improve my overall health and decrease the amount of animal products I eat. (of course, that sometimes goes out the window. Like this weekend when Nerd came for a visit and I went out and bought min-cheeseburgers for him. And then had a couple for myself)

So this week, I tried a raw recipe, Almond Flaxseed Burger

which is a bit of a misnomer, as it is nothing like a mini-cheeseburger.

It's better. I really liked these:

2 cloves garlic
1 cup almonds
1/2 ground flaxseed
2 Tbsp balsamic vinegar
2 Tbsp coconut oil
sea salt to taste

Put all ingredients in a food processer and blend to desired consistancy.

That's it! There is an option of forming them into patties and cooking them at 300 degrees for 30 minutes. But it's so good raw, I thought, why bother?

I liked eating this on a bed of greens, wrapped in a sheet of nori seaweed, over brown rice, or mixed with veggies like cooked spinach and carrots. One night, I threw it in a tortilla with salsa, lettuce, and rice.

Delish! (just be sure to have some gum handy. Raw garlic makes for strong breath!)

Wednesday's book report

2011-01-29T14:14:00.000-08:00

Presently, I'm reading:

Thrive by Bradnon Brasier
The Secrets of Simplicity by Mary Carlomagno
The Middle Way by the Dali Lama
Getting Over Jack Wagner by Elise Juska

Last week, I finished Lit by Mary Karr. I had read a couple of her other memoirs, The Liar's Club and Cherry and quite enjoyed them. They were about her tumultuous childhood with her bipolar mother and her alcoholic father and all the repercussions in her life. There is something invigorating about reading of the scrappy underdog who does not let the difficult conditions she finds herself in put her down.

Lit is about her adult life. The repercussions of her childhood are still there. But she is no longer the scrappy underdog, but the (sometimes not so) mature adult who had more significant consequences to her poor choices or bad behavior. Including the upbringing of her own child.

Perhaps its because she is so acutely aware of these repercussions that this memoir is much more muted than her other two. Karr, so ready to throw her tormentors to the wolves in her other books (in a funny way, of course) now appears to be walking on eggshells. She is fearful to write ANYTHING the least bit negative about anyone in her life, instead taking all the blame herself. And yet, she seems completely detached from events in her life, reporting on them as if she were an observer.

She was, by her own account, depressed at the time. And any recollection of events during a time of depression, any journal entries written at the time, will, of course, be muted in nature. So maybe this memoir is a brilliant depiction of depression. I'm not sure. It just seemed like I was watching a movie through a gauze handkerchief.

Then, she entered AA. And the book came to life. Suddenly, the passion from her earlier works was there. I started to like this book more.

The most interesting part for me was her resistance to the spiritual aspect of her recovery process. She kept struggling with her belief that she had a choice between being intellectual and being spiritual. Like...she was too smart to believe in a "greater power".

And I have to admit -- I've had the same struggles myself. I've seen some of the dumbest statements ever uttered in the history of mankind made in the name of religion. Which kind of makes me want to rise above the idiocy of it all.

But one thing struck me in this memoir...a scene where her sponsor told her "Don't you see that you can't THINK your problems and your fears away? The more you try to work through them in your head, the more you try to rationalize your way through them, the more power your give to them? Just let them go. Even if you don't believe in a higher power, pretend you do and give your problems over."

Which struck me as very much like something I had read in a yoga journal the week before. And struck me as something to ponder in the week to come.

So even though I hadn't picked up this book for spiritual questions, it lead me there nonetheless.

So I liked it. And I'd recommend it. And I passed it on to a friend (there were some very tender moments in the book between Mary and her father as he declined to a progressive illness. my friend recently lost her father and those moments reminded me of her so much.)

Though if you haven't read any Mary Karr, I'd recommend her other memoirs first, and this one later.

Tuesday's Bad Dates

2011-01-25T20:05:00.000-08:00

I have been battling my Internet Explorer for the past week or so. I think I finally got things working, now. And so-- here are a week's worth of posts starting with a bad date.
Last summer, I went out for drinks with a friend from work, her boyfriend, and a bunch of his friends. Her boyfriend worked at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, which meant drinks with lots of nerds. (I may be one of the only people in the world for whom this is an exciting prospect. I love me my scientists, geeks, and nerds!)

Anyway, it was here that I met Paul. Though he did not work at WHOI, he did have a PhD in biochemistry (which is a definite plus!) but he worked for a medical software company doing systems upgrades (down a notch, but still relatively neutral). Outside of his academic statistics, Paul was pretty nice, had a decent sense of humor, liked working out and being outside. (Plus, plus, plus!) We exchanged phone numbers and talked about meeting up in Boston.

Paul and I texted and emailed for a couple weeks, just talking and trying to make plans and whatnot. I did think it was a little odd that he kept asking when I was going to go back to get either a PhD or a DPT, even though I had told him several times "Never." (My main focus is clinical whereas advanced degrees are focused on research. Blech!) But whatever. We had a date to plan.

We finally picked a date; again it was a sort of informal thing with lots of people meeting for drinks and food at restaurant/club in the south end. I jumped on the train and headed up to the city.

At the restaurant, I quickly became aware of the fact that I was THE ONLY ONE there who did not have a PhD. I felt pretty inferior...for about 2 minutes...until I started talking to these people. It was like "group-date dinner with the overeducated do-nothings."

to be continued....

2011-01-24T18:36:00.000-08:00

Bye Jack. You will be missed

happy thoughts

2011-01-23T16:19:00.000-08:00

20 things that make me happy

41) my new indoor bike trainer

42) brownies
43) throwing things away (that have no use)
44) donating things (that have use, but not to me)
45) cherishing things that I use and love
46) hot chocolate with whipped cream
47) flannel sheets
48) Sunday movie afternoons
49) when I find the perfect gift for somebody
50) signing up for races for the year
51) planning for vacations
52)or not planning (saying "I don't know where my life is going" and loving it)
53) spinach
54) my co-workers (I work with some great people)
55) lip balm with eucalyptus
56) knowing people who can help me with things I'm not good at
57) babies (my nephew is 7 months and I'm loving it)
58) making up silly songs with the kids
59) celebratory slices of cake
60) effective exercise routines to work off the cake

wounded warrior project

2011-01-23T16:07:00.000-08:00

So, this week's charity is the WOUNDED WARRIOR PROJECT

Last fall, the rehab hospital where I work hosted a Wounded Warrior Weekend with the intention of getting disables vets exposed to adaptive sports such as bicycling, kayaking, fishing, and camping. Though my involvement in that project was limited secondary to prior commitments, it is something I feel very strongly about. And it was a great success! I am a big believer in the importance of recreational endeavors as part of a balanced life.

In addition to support for recreation, the WOUNDED WARRIOR PROJECT provides support for injured service members and their families for counseling and psychological support, occupational training, peer mentoring, and supports advocacy for injured vets, as well.

No matter what your personal views about the wars we, as a country, are fighting, I think we all owe it to the servicemen and women to support them upon their return.

If you would like to learn more about the WOUNDED WARRIOR PROJECT, go here for more info!

cooking for the clueless

2011-01-20T19:56:00.000-08:00

This week, I decided to try to duplicate one of the yummy recipes that they served at the yoga center I visited two weeks ago. Since I am a clueless cook, and since it seemed like absolute perfection, I decided to venture down into a REAL kitchen and forgo my regular crock pot and George Foreman grilling here in the loft.

3 SISTER'S CASSEROLE courtesy of the Kripalu Center

Filling:
2 tablespoons earth balance
1 cup chopped onion
3 stalks celery, chopped
1 tablespoon garlic
1 1/2 teaspoons ground coriander
1 1/2 teaspoon cumin
4 cups butternut squash, cubed
2 cups canned tomatoes
1 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 cup water
1 3/4 cups cooked pinto beans
1 cup frozen corn

Heat earth balance over medium heat. Add onion and saute until browned. Add celery and saute 2 minutes. Stir in garlic and spices. Add squash, tomatoes, and salt; cook 5 minutes. Stir in water and bring to a boil. Reduce to low and simmer for 15 minutes. Turn off heat and stir in beans and corn. Transfer to a 9 x 13" casserole dish.

Topping:
1 1/2 cups fine ground cornmeal
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup unbleached all purpose flour
1 tablespoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup water
3/4 cup soy milk
2 tablespoons sunflower oil
1/3 cup maple syrup
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

Combine dry ingredients in bowl. Set aside. Combine remaining ingredients in separate bowl. Add wet mixture to dry mixture and combine. Pour topping over filling in casserole dish. B

Bake at 375 for 30 minutes.

Super duper yummy. I must say, for some reason, mine wasn't as good as the yoga center's. I seemed to have too much topping and the topping to filling ratio was off. I may try making less topping next time!

The truth about Neil Diamond

2011-01-17T16:15:00.000-08:00

ALL TRUTHS ARE EASY TO UNDERSTAND ONCE THEY ARE DISCOVERED; THE POINT IS TO DISCOVER THEM ---GALILEO

So far in 2011, I have had two of the most different weekends it is possible for one person to have.

Two weeks ago, I spent the weekend at a yoga center. I was up before dawn, doing yoga in a room aptly named "the sunrise room", watching the sun rise. I went snowshoeing over a frozen lake, walking around a snow-covered labyrinth, and did 2-3 yoga classes each day. The center was warm enough to bring Caribbean vacations to mind and make me wish I had packed tank tops and shorts rather than fleece. I filled myself with super yummy organic food and left rested and feeling quite good about myself.

By contrast, last weekend was spent in a hotel, halfway between a friend's house and mine to hang out and have fun. We ate large quantities of non-organic pub food and drank to excess. It was cold enough outside to make me wish I had packed an entire fur suit. On Sunday, I slept until almost noon, willing my head to stop pounding. And I left feeling quite poorly about myself.

Yet between these two weekends, it was the second one in which I learned an all encompassing universal truth: everything can be blamed on Neil Diamond. Never knew that before. But now, it's so crystal clear. (and don't worry, I'm pretty sure he'd have no problem with this)

For instance: if Neil Diamond hadn't written such a catchy, singable, hard to forget song, I would never have ordered the seemingly harmless drinks named "Sweet Carolines". It's really Neil's fault that I ended up behaving like a more conservatively dressed Snooki and ate approximately half a bottle of Advil on Sunday.

Are you tired of going out and seeing teenagers with their pants around their thighs and their underwear on full display? Neil's fault. Neil and that catchy, ridiculously singable and hard to get out of your head "Forever in Blue Jeans". I understand that most teenagers don't even know who Neil Diamond is, never mind listen to his music, but it sneaks in subliminally via muzak pumped over the speakers in malls.

Trying to remedy a problem with your cell phone bill and frustrated that you can only talk to people based out of New Delhi? Neil again. If Neil hadn't spent so many years crooning "They come to America, They come to America" over and over, well then, nobody would have noticed. But thanks to Neil, somebody did and decided to just move the jobs to where all those people coming to America originated from.

And what about those agonizing post break up weeks when you search for joy in the bottom of cartons of ice cream and just wish you could punch somebody to make them feel as horrible as you do? Punch Neil Diamond! On some level, it was that "Heartlight" song of his that drove your perfect relationship right off a cliff into finished-ville.

Seriously, man. What is Neil Diamond's problem? Why does he want to make so many people feel bad?

Or maybe it was just a burden thrust upon him. Maybe he's like the Chuck Norris of misfortune. That may be more like it. 'Cause it wasn't a weekend of clearminded bliss, but a little bit of misfortune that made me see the truth about Neil Diamond.

20 things that make me happy

2011-01-16T17:10:00.000-08:00

You know what would really make me happy? If blogger let me change the December quote to a January quote. Since that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon, I must suffice with 20 other things to make me smile.

20 things that make me happy:

21) surrounding myself with pillows in a "sleep nest"
22) weekend plans with friends
23) coming to the end of a good book
24) warm baths
25) when friends who have never met before hit it right off
26) hot tea
27) laughing hysterically until you can't breathe
28) successful days at work
29) trying out new recipes
30) especially when I like the new recipes!
31) cute sweater dresses with leggings
32) warm boots
33) times when the future spreads out before you- full of possibilities
34) having somebody tell you they believe in those possibilities
35) structured training plans
36) wicker baskets
37) baseball caps
38) bananas
39) smoothies in the morning (with or without bananas)
40) visiting museums

Friday's Good Vibes

2011-01-14T19:08:00.000-08:00

As I was going through my paperwork of charitable organizations, I noticed that I had grouped them together by category. I was sort of going through the paperwork in order, but then I realized that it may end up looking like: "January's diseases", "February's environmental causes", "March's armed services". And that just seemed too tacky for words! So now I just mixed all the paperwork together in no particular order. It's absolute madness in an accordion file!

Anyway, now that the categories have been obliterated, I can feel free to talk about something that is close to my heart: Our National Parks.

I truly feel lucky to live here, where we have such wonderful natural diversity in our landscape and such a great National Park System. The National Park System was created in 1872 to preserve out natural and cultural heritage, setting aside millions of acres of land to preserve and protect some of our most valuable and --may I say -- magical land. Unfortunately, our park system is subject to political volleying with many urging opening the parks to "land development" projects such as logging, mining, and, of course, the famous Alaska oil pipeline.

Additionally, the parks themselves operate with significant budget deficits, leaving maintenance of roads, shelters, and trails insufficient. Parks have needed to cut back on rangers and other staff, putting visitors at greater risk of injury when visiting parks. And in many parks, local pressure has led to allowing ATVs, snowmobiles, and power boats in the very places created to protect against these vehicles.

Some of my most fond memories in my travels have been of hiking and camping in Olympia National Park in Washington, Yosemite National Park, and King's Canyon Park (pictured above).
I am always in awe of these magical places; and in awe of the thought that this is public land: I OWN this place! You OWN this place! We all collectively own these places. They belong to us and as such, I truly feel it is our duty to protect these places from disrepair, abuse, and mismanagement. (I've often wrote in this blog how I can't understand how obsessed people become about their lawns. But I can totally understand and obsession about their public land)

So this week's charity is the National Parks Conservation Association, which serves as a watchdog group to monitor the parks and ensure preservation, protection, and adequate funding.

To learn more about National Parks (and to find one in your area to visit -- please make that one of your goals for this year!) go here.

And to learn more about the NPCA go here

Now go outside this weekend!

2011-01-12T18:02:00.000-08:00

Wednesday's Book Report:

Right now, I'm in the middle of 4 books. Just because I'm always a bit scattered like that. It keeps me on my toes. (and just disorganized enough to be interesting) I'm reading Lit by Mary Karr (I read her other two memoirs, Cherry and The Liar's Club and really liked them), The Permanent Pain Cure by Ming Chew (work related reading), The Secrets of Simplicity by Mary Carlomagno (because I still have that "simplify, simplify, simplify" mantra in my head) and Thrive by Brandan Brazier (for overall health and lifestyle)

But I'm not going to talk about any of those today. I can't. I'm still digesting them.

Today, I'm going to talk about one I finished a couple weeks ago: Palo Alto Stories by James Franco:

I got interested in this book when I read an interview with James Franco at the gym. He sort of became my new idol, simply because he appeared to have his hands in even more projects than I do. He's an actor (the Spiderman movies and 127 hours which I totally want to see) and apparently has a recurring role on General Hospital, as well. He also in a ridiculously short time got a BA from UCLA in creative writing, then an MFA in writing from Brooklyn University and attending NYU's film making school. He's presently pursuing a PhD in English at Yale University and is enrolled for next year at RISD for painting. At the same time he's written and produced a couple off Broadway plays and is directing a film version of William Faulkner's As I Lay Dying this year.

See? Crazy busy with projects. Makes me look like a couch potato. So, of course, I needed to get his book.

That being said, I liked Palo Alto Stories, but I didn't love it. It tells a number of loosely related stories centered around a bunch of high school aged kids growing up in Palo Alto. The one thing that these kids have in common is that their collective moral compasses don't quite point north. They may actually point south.

There's a dark, sad tone to all the stories; very Holden Caulfield-ish. However, in The Catcher in the Rye, it's really just Holden who is off. You get the sense that other characters may not be up for person of the year, but then again, maybe that's just Holden's perception of them. There's melancholy and existential angst, but not everyone in the entire world shares in this bleak world view.

(I can't write "bleak world view" without hearing Homer Simpson saying it like in the "Homer-palooza" episode)

In Palo Alto Stories, everyone is off. And while I appreciated it for a few stories, after a while, I was feeling saturated. I reached a point where enough was enough. I felt much the same way I did when watching Pulp Fiction. OK, I appreciated Quintin Tarantino's unique film making quality, but the gratuitous violence just became too much. I mean, really, did ANYONE need to see a gag-balled gimp in leather chaps stuffed into a box after being sodomized?) I sure didn't.

Likewise, do I really wish to believe that an entire generation is simply nonchalant about date rape, overdosing, lying, stealing, cheating, and the occasional vehicular manslaughter while drunk? Especially set in Palo Alto, just minutes from where I used to live in Mountain View, but light years away from where I ever could live on my salary as a health care worker. And, yes, I get the whole juxtaposition of the immoral behavior in a well-to-do suburb. And that maybe there's a message to it. And all the stories combined create a sense of helplessness.

But all I kept thinking was: dude! Couldn't you have written something more like your movie Pineapple Express? 'Cause that was funny!

Then again, maybe I'm just shallow. Or something.

Today's new thing:

THIS! The Wednesday's book reports. More to come!

Tuesday' s Bad Dates -- Oliver

2011-01-11T20:35:00.000-08:00

Yes....its back! All of my sad, sad dating stories!

Last summer, I went to a "Beginner Triathlon Camp" sponsored by a local running club. I had been doing sprints and Olympic distances for a couple years, but I had never trained with a club or a coach. Plus, I was trying to recover from my disc herniation, so I thought this camp and all its access to professional coaches would be just what I needed.

It was there that I met Oliver. Now, at first, I though that Oliver was on the staff. He was a very seasoned triathlete, with over 10 years of highly competitive training for full distance ironman races. But, no... he was actually a participant in the Beginner Triathlon Camp. Which struck me as a little odd. But, hey, he was a nice guy, so I whatevered it.

(I now think he went for the express reason of picking up chicks. 'Cause not only did I go out with him, but at least 4 other participants from the camp who I talked to later during the season when I saw them at races. Oliver was either a bit of a douche bag or a genius!)

But that is neither here nor there.

The point is, he seemed like a pretty nice guy, we lived in the same town, and we talked about going on some training rides together. And maybe dinner or something. So we did.

I should probably say here, that I wasn't completely healed from my little injury and any time I tried to ride more than 30-35 miles, I got radiating numbness down my right leg. Plus, even if I rode a short 10-15 mile ride and followed it with a run, I got numbness. So my main goal at the beginning of the summer was still recovery. And maybe to get my speed up a bit on the bike.

Oliver assured me that this was no problem and that he had his share of injuries in the past and that this would really just be a fun ride; he could go out again later and get more miles in if he really needed. So we decided on a day, a time, a place, and a distance of 20 miles.

Well, right of the bat, he tried to convince me to do 30 instead. And to do a 3 mile run afterward. I just wasn't happy with that plan; we had said 20 miles; he was going to show me some good training drills for the bike and some ways to get my speed up. I wanted to stick with the plan.

He agreed and off we went.

Did I mention that he was highly competitive?

'Cause he really seemed to want to go much, much faster than me. Like, WAY faster. Like, "I've been doing this for over 10 years and I eat people like you for breakfast" faster. Which kind of irked me a bit.

Then he started yelling to "encourage" me: "C'mon! Pick up the pace! Push yourself! How do you think you're going to get better if you don't push yourself!" And I, like and idiot, tried to push myself to match his 10 year veteran pace.

Which didn't really work all that well.

Which made him ride back (from his spot about a million miles in front of me) and start yelling at me some more.

Which made me start yelling back at him: "Fuck you, jerk! Stop yelling in my face! So I'm not as fast as you, just deal with it."

Which, strangely, made him a little happy: "That's the spirit! Put a little life into it!"

Can't you just see us? Riding down this little rural road past cranberry bogs and horse farms, screaming and swearing at each other in our helmets and bike shoes and cool max clothes? Nice kids out on their horses listening to curse words on a glorious picture perfect early summer day? People all happy to stop and buy vegetables from roadside stands suddenly having their days ruined by two lunatics on bikes? Yup, that was me!

Well, of course, the inevitable happened. My leg started to go numb. I had to pull over and unclip and lie down on my stomach in the grass and do press ups until the numbness went away.

Oliver, apparently realizing I had stopped riding from his spot, once again, a million miles in front of me, rode back to where I was collapsed by the side of the road.

"What happened? Are you ok?"

I explained that my leg had gone numb and I was trying to get it to calm down.

"Oh, you were serious about that?"

GOOD LORD! Who lies about a disc problem? (ok, scratch that. I work at a hospital. Plenty of people lie about that. But I'm not one of them)

Anyway, after that, he stopped yelling and got all apologetic and was really nice for the rest of the ride (which I did with only my left leg. Thank goodness we only had a little under 2 miles left)

And then we both just decided to call it a day.

(Incidentally, I've seen him a few times since then. And I honestly think he really is a nice guy. Just way too competitive for his own good. And maybe on way too much caffeine)

2011-01-09T22:15:00.000-08:00

COOKING FOR THE CLUELESS

This week, I decided that I was going to try some healthy recipes from my new book, Thrive. It's a pretty good read on vegan lifestyle with lots of recipes and such.

I always seem to have a difficult time getting a good, healthy breakfast in, unless its a smoothie I drink on the way to work. So I decided to cook up a bunch of pancakes, throw them in the freezer, and heat them up in the mornings.

Plus, I would get to try out my new electric fry pan:

Wild Rice Yam Pancakes

2 cups water

1 cup cooked quinoa

1 cup cooked mashed yam

1/2 cup cooked wild rice

1/4 cup ground flaxseed

1/4 ground sesame seeds

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp black pepper

Put all ingredients in a food processor (or, if your food processor is microscopic, put them all in a blender). Blend until smooth.

Pour onto oiled pan or electic skillet. (This book recommends coconut oil, which I actually have, and used, and lent a nice taste to the pancakes)

Cook approximately 5 minutes or until bubbling. Flip and cook 5 minutes on the other side.

Let me just say that either these super thick, super dense pancakes take a lot longer to cook than 5 minutes each side, or my electric skillet sucks. Or both.

I feel like it took the better part of my Sunday to make a batch of these babies!

But they were good. Really good. I added some cinnamon and nutmeg to give them a nice nutty quality. And they did work out deliciously for a morning treat.

Today's New Thing:

Posted some things on FreeCycle: The old TV and my old printer. Don't know how its gonna work, we'll see!

Things that make me happy

2011-01-09T18:28:00.001-08:00

Thanks to my bloggie friend, Diane, I have another new thing to make this year a year of better choices. Diane came up with an idea to make a list of 1000 things that make her happy. (that comes out to about 20 things a week) I like that idea so much, I stole it for myself.

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

1) the color purple
2) my neices and nephews
3) dogs (in general. They rock)
4) cats (not all of them. But a select few make me smile)
5) lists (no surprise there)
6) my jeep
7) the ocean
8) walking on the beach
9) jogging
10) biking
11) swimming
12) all three of those activities at the same time
13) yoga
14) new socks right out of the package
15) my Mizuno sneakers (even better than Nike!)
16) flannel jammies
17) fires in the wood stove
18) curling up with a good book
19) talking on the phone with my buddy Isabella
20) watching dvds with J and K

Today's New Thing:

Today, I will be at a Yoga Retreat Center! that's new.

Something New!

2011-01-09T17:53:00.001-08:00

While looking through a magazine last month, I came across and article on this chippy! She had an amazing idea to give away $100 a day every day for a year to charitable organizations. I thinks that is just fantastic and inspiring and overall just, well, good.

Reading her blog, I thought: "The world really needs more people like her."

And then I thought: "I'm a person. And I want to be like her."

Of course, financially speaking, there is no way I can commit to giving away $100 a day. But I took a serious look at my finances and where my money goes. And I figured out that with a little tweaking, I can commit to giving $25 a week to charitable causes. In my journal, I have dubbed the year 2011 "The Year of Better Choices". And I think that the tweaks I've made (or have pledged to make) with my spending in order to give more money to worthy causes really is a better choice.

So, every week, I'll be talking about a charitable organization and why I wish to give money to its cause. (Plus, I encourage anyone to tell me about any organization they feel strongly about in the comments session.)

This week's charity is:

The American Diabetes Association

Right now, approximately 24 million Americans (about 8%) of the population has diabetes. This figure continues to grow every year. It's the 7th leading direct cause of death in the US, and contributes to the development of many other medical conditons including heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, neuropathy, blindness, kidney disease, and amputations (it is the #1 cause of lower limb amputations in adults)

The American Diabetes Association funds research studies aimed at diabetes treatment the search for a cure. It also focuses on educational resources for people living with diabetes. Since type 2 diabetes is a largely preventable disease (and since lifestyle changes are a key factor in the management of type 2 diabetes) education is very important.

On a personal note, my Nana on my mother's side died of uncontrolled diabetes. She was diagnosed only after she died. I can't help but think if she had access to some educational information, she would have been able to take better control of her health.

If anyone else wants to learn more about diabetes, The American Diabetes Association, or wishes to donate, go here!

Ooopsie!

2011-01-09T17:50:00.000-08:00

Ok... I tried to autopost a couple entries since I was away this weekend (more on that later!) But clearly, I have no idea what I am doing. So now, let's just pretend that these were posted on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

Blast from the past

2011-01-03T18:55:00.000-08:00

A while back, I had a bunch of posts known as Tuesday's Bad Dates. They were fun and hopefully funny and kind of pathetic all at the same time. I had a lot to write about because I basically rolled years of bad dating experiences into a weekly batch of posts.

And then I kind of reached the end of my bad dating stories.

I wrote a few sort of, kind of, dating stories about things that were like, chance encounters that may have ended up in dates had I not screwed things up so royally. (I do things like burp and fart and fall flat on my face in front of strangers--I'm wicked attractive! And yet, I tend to knock down the interest factor from said total strangers with that behavior. Go figure.)

I did have a few dates in 2010. But in general, I don't like to write about things TOO close to when they happened. Just in case I inadvertantly insult somebody (Some people are really touchy and would take something like being featured in Tuesday's Bad Dates personally. Wusses!)

But I think enough time has gone by to get some perspective.

And Tuesday's Bad Dates was a really good blog feature.

And I only got up to the letter N. I have to make it to Z!

So.......

Next week! The Return of Tuesday's Bad Dates!

(I also know how to drag things out)

Today's new thing:
Today I plugged in and started using my new TV! (My old TV was something I saved from the trash and was about 20 years old. And the picture started to go. So I went out and got a new, cheapo TV that is soo much better than my old one! Yay.)

Something Questioned Something New

2011-01-03T16:58:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday Everyone!

Time for a thought provoking question from:

50 Questions that Will Free Your Mind

(from here)

Week 10: Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Ok, I have to admit. I didn't understand this question. It just didn't make sense to me. I feel like somebody just took the words "doing", "right", and "things" and mixed them around to make a pith little question. I feel like Ben Stiller in "Mystery Men" in this scene:

Mr. Furious: Am I the only one who finds these sayings a bit formulaic? "If you want to push something down, you have to pull it up. If you want to go left, then you have to go right. It's..."

The Sphinx: Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage..."

Mr. Furious: Your rage will become your master? That's what you were going to say. Right? Right?"

The Sphinx: Not necessarily.

(I was going to put in a clip for everyone's viewing pleasure, but something about copyright violation and blah, blah, blah)

(Don't sue me for copyright violation, Ben Stiller)

Anyway, I had a vision of a bunch of pierced, tattooed people sitting around a tiny New York apartment with their soul patches and their berets, surrounded by Chinese takeout, wine bottles, and joints: "C'mon, people! 50 Questions! We are all intelligent here. Don't tell me we can't come up with 50 questions to free your mind!"

I mean, generally, aren't the people who are worried about doing things right the SAME people who are doing the right things? I figure, there are lots of people out there who don't give a rat's patootie about either of these things. And lots who care about both. But how many care about only one or the other?

However, I don't think the intent of the question is to get me all snippity and self righteous.

So, for arguments sake, let's assume that I'm trapped in a world where quality and values are mutually exclusive; I have to choose to either worry about doing things right or doing the right things. And....

I'm going to choose doing the right things. For a number of reasons.

Firstly, doing a good job on something for the completely wrong reason is rather counterproductive and unfulfilling. It's really no way to go about your life. I know. I've done it in the past. It leaves you as an empty shell of a person.

Also, because sometimes people (like me) use the excuse of doing things perfectly as an excuse to stay stuck. If this isn't done RIGHT (to some impossible standard of right-ness) then it isn't done. Do you know how long you can stay working on and picking at and re-hashing a simple job? A LONG time. Time that could be better spent doing more important things.

Sometimes, it's better to adhere to the school of "good enough". (I believe Jack Black runs that school in the sequal to "School of Rock") The job may not be done perfectly, but SOMETHING is done. And often, something is better than nothing.

However, in the real world, often doing a good job for the right reasons is the ultimate goal. Isn't it?

Today's New Thing:

I tried some raw food. Not like, carrot sticks. But from the whole "Raw Food" line of thinking. I have to admit, the whole raw food thing never made sense to me. But I tried out a recipe and damn! Is it good! I stand corrected.

January Goals

2011-01-02T06:26:00.000-08:00

Imagine if I were the person I'm striving to be....I'd be taller first off; I may actually be 5'2" or EVEN 5'3"! I would be thinner; I'd have the cool, Pilate's looking abs, not the inflated looking body builder 6 pack abs. I'd be the best physical therapist the world has ever seen, with a 100% success and 100% satisfaction rate, completely reversing even progressive, non-curable conditions. I'd somehow have tons of extra time to exercise and volunteer and create imaginative works of art in every medium known to man. And my hair would always be perfect.

Ok, maybe that's not what John Lennon had in mind when he wrote that song. Maybe its more like....imagining a better version of yourself and a better life and a better world. And doing just a few little things each day.

As always, I have to make a list. Oh! Imagine the world without lists! *shudder* I would die! I would go completely insane and then just drop dead. I gotta make a list -- quick!

JANUARY GOALS

1) Cut out meat and dairy: I had a few injuries in 2010. And a weird, creeping contact dermatitis that lasted forever. And, of course, a never ending respiratory infection. The more I learn about our food sources, the more I am convinced that moving to a more plant based diet is better for overall health. And maybe for reducing risk of injuries and sickness plus for quicker recovery. So I'm gonna stop reading about it and just do it. For a month. And see where I am in February.

2) Work out 30 Times in 30 Days: Yeah, its left over from December where it was an epic fail. But where I failed at the Holiday Booty Buster I can succeed in the New Years Resolution buster! (no link. I just like the word "buster")

3) Journal Daily: Just cause I think it keeps me grounded and more clear headed. And probably more pleasant to be around. It's a gift, really, to all the people who are forced to interact me each and every day!

4) Go on One Winter Hike: Either solo or with somebody.

5) Get Continuing Education Courses Set and Turned In For 2011: Early start.

6) Go on 2 or More Group Runs: Running doesn't always have to be such a solitary activity. I know that in theory. I just always seem to train alone. Group runs may be a nice change.

7) Finish 3 Books This Month: Looking back at last year, maybe a book a week was a bit too lofty a goal (especially when one has a penchant for Stephen King). A week off every now and then is good...you know, to work on my time machine and perfecting cold fusion.

8) Two Projects from the Infamous "Project Box": Again, taking my cues from last year, about half credit. So I'll adjust the goals this year accordingly. So that I don't feel like as I'm making progress I'm still running behind.

9)Write Four Old Fashioned Snail Mail Letters to Friends: I know. Makes me seem like I'm living in the 1940s. But I still say that getting something in the mail is much more uplifting than getting poked on facebook!

10) Girl's Weekend: A girl's gotta have fun, right?

And since it's January.....the month of New Beginnings,

Today's New Thing:
Cooked on my New Electric Skillet. Not as great as the George Foreman Grill. But ok.

Goal Wrap Up

2011-01-01T20:26:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, everyone!

I had big plans for 1/1/1111. I was going to get up early and go down to Old Silver Beach for a group run. And then I was going to stand back, NOT cave to peer pressure, and watch the crazy people take the polar plunge. (I'm not opposed to the idea of a polar plunge per se, but I had a cold that lasted 3 1/2 weeks. So jumping in the ocean in the middle of winter did not seem to be in my best interest) I was going to go to Costco. I was going to do some Christmas present returns. And I was going to cook up a storm-- all the healthy food I bought yesterday on my marathon of errands.

As it turns out, I had a lazy day. I did not leave the house. Which is so not like me. But I did cook up a storm. And I drank some tea. And went over my yearly goals. And did some journaling. And cleaned. And got rid of some stuff.

Not quite what I had planned. But I feel good. Rested. And ready to tackle 2011.

December Goals:

1) Wrap all gifts in recycled materials: Ridiculously easy to meet this goal. I had a plethora of gift bags left over from last year. And for items that did not fit into bags, I had insane amounts of brown packing paper and ribbon. (that's one drawback to ordering all your gifts online. Amazon uses way too much packing material! But easy to recycle!)

2) Training schedule all set up for 2011: all set up and written on the calendar.

3) Finish 5 books this month: And thanks to never ending illness, I finished Water for Elephants, Her Fearful Symmetry, Palo Alto Stories, Thrive, and This Time I Dance.

4) 30 Workouts in 30 Days: Epic Fail. I was crushed from that killer cold. Not only when I was actually sick, but during my recovery period.

5) Get Everything Turned in for Advanced Clinician Application: Done! Right at the deadline!

6) Get Apartment Spectacularly Decorated for Xmas: Done. I love my little Charlie Brown tree and I want to keep it up until Valentine's Day!

7) Organize a Memorial for a Friend: Put on the backburner. I wasn't the only one contagious and exhauseted. We're gonna do something at a later date.

8) Get Rid of 30 More Things: Done. I can't believe that I accummulate so much stuff. From somebody who strives for simplicity.

9) Have a Great Birthday: Ok. I don't mean to be a complainer. This is nobody's fault. But my birthday was a bit of a low point. I was sick. And I called in the next day. And I cried in the shower. Because I was just not happy on my actual birthday. But I'm pretty happy now. So, it's all good. Days are days and we shouldn't get stuck on the actualy date.

10) Have a Great Christmas: And THAT was a great day. Spent it with my family and played the part of "Super Auntie"

And the Yearly Goals for 2010:

1) 52 projects in 52 weeks: Half Credit. I did about half the year before just losing interest.

2) 52 Books in 52 Weeks: I ended up Completing 46 books in 52 Weeks. Not too shabby

3) Using Cloth Bags for 100% of my shopping excursions: Almost completely. A few mess ups here and there, but much more of an automatic behavior

4) Generate Only 12 Bags of Trash in 12 Months: 16 small bags of trash.

So even though I really seemed to lose steam this year, not too shabby overall. I'm excited for lots of new things to strive for in 2011.

End of the Year Lessons

2010-12-31T07:20:00.000-08:00

Hey Everyone!

It’s that time of year again….the most wonderful time of the year…or so the saying goes. Time to wrap up all the end of the year stuff. Time to stop and reflect upon all the lessons you learned in the past year. Once again, for your end of the year entertainment:

The Top Ten Things Heather Learned in 2010

10) If I get stung by a bee, I will NOT die.
Actually, after my Jurassic leg incident last summer, I learned lots of things about bee stings: there are 5 types of venomous insects in New England. There are 3 types of reactions to bee stings. The hummingbird sized insect that stung me was most likely a yellow faced hornet, not a yellow jacket. Many vegans eschew honey. I never had any use for this type of information before. And really? I still don’t. But that whole not dying thing; that’s good.

9) In South Carolina, 1 inch of snow is like the apocalypse
Or at least enough to cancel a marathon. That you’ve spent months training for. And flew down to Myrtle Beach to run. Stupid southern states!

8) There is something worse than the California DMV…the Massachusetts IRS
Somehow, the state of Mass decided that in 2006 (the year I lived in California until August and in Mass for the remainder of the year) I should have had the foresight to pay taxes to Mass for the ENTIRE year. And it took no fewer than 6 separate pieces of correspondence to convince them otherwise. Not to be outdone, California followed suit once I THOUGHT everything was solved. Four pieces of correspondence and counting. Stupid blue states!

7) St. Mark’s Square in Venice floods
You know that place with the big gold basilica and the pigeons? I tried to go there and hang with the pigeons. I went down in my super-cute sundress (that will now be known forever as my “pigeon dress”). Turns out, I shoulda worn duck boots! There was, like, 2 ½ feet of water in the square. The entire foyer of the basilica was underwater! Don’t know why that bothers me so much.

6) I learned what a bulging disc feels like.
It’s HORRIBLE! Now I have a smidge more sympathy for my patients. But not a whole lot. ‘Cause I also learned that physical therapy works when you are compliant with that home exercise program!

5) Summer really is just spectacular!
This year, we had the warmest, most wonderful summer weather I can remember in years. It was great. I really love summer. Which leads me to the next logical conclusion: I hate cold.

4) I am not the lifestyle police
Wouldn’t it be awesome if I was? Everyone everywhere would be roaming around as rumpled, tangled, messes with 4 types of athletic shoes in their car at all times and plans to see every live music act in a 15 mile radius. Alas, as I creep into the fourth decade of life, I hear friends reporting news like “I was hospitalized overnight for chest pain twice this year” or “I had this numbness all along the left side of my body for 3 weeks before I went to the doctor and he said it was a mini-stroke”. Most often with a cigarette in one hand, a beer in the other, and a plate of fully loaded nachos in front of them. Don’t they know that they should be striving to be within one standard deviation of ME? Clearly not. And it really doesn’t go over too well to say so. Guess I’ll just have to lead by twirling, pigeon dressed example.

3) I’m becoming less organized as I get older
You’d think that by now, I’d have my Xmas letter written by Thanksgiving and mailed out by December 1st. Yeah, not so much. My friends will be getting Xmas letters around Jan 5th.

2) Children’s behavior is much more tolerable when you share a genetic link with them.
You know, except for you guys. YOUR kids are ADORABLE! It’s all the other ones out there I’m referring to!

1) I got a hug from the lead singer of Ozomatli!
OK, technically, that’s not something I learned, that’s something I did. At the Life is Good concert in September. I just thought it was exciting enough to share. Plus, after returning home and consulting Google, I learned that his name is not, in fact, “that scruffy trumpet player guy”, but Asdrubal Sierra. (I can’t pronounce that anyway, so even if I knew that beforehand, I still woulda called him “Dude”)

Happy Holidays, Everyone!
And learn lots in 2011.

question of the week

2010-12-27T17:51:00.000-08:00

Well, I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I had fun with the family and the kids, and Santa was good to everyone. And today, I braved the blizzard in my jeepy-jeep to get into work and make the world a better place. (or, at least to treat a few brave souls who also braved the elements and to start chipping away at the piles on my desk)

Anyway, as I was driving home, I was thinking about how I moved back to a place where I am almost blown off the bridge while driving home in 15 degree weather and snow squalls. How I moved back here deliberately. And how I may have been a bit crazy to do so.

What's really interesting is that my musings closely resemble this week's question from
50 Questions to Free Your Mind:

To What Degree Have You Actually Controlled the Course Your Life Has Taken?

The simple answer is: more than most, but not as much as I would like to.

The more complex answer has been occupying my mind quite a bit lately, and not just when driving during a blizzard.

In general, I've done a pretty good job of living my life with intention. I didn't hang around, working the same job for years on end whether I liked it or not, and just SEE what would happen. I didn't sit on the sofa night after night, watching other people's stories march across the screen in front of me. I didn't TALK alot about all those giant life goals that everyone has-- run a marathon, go to Europe, climb a mountain, write a novel-- but do nothing about them except dream. I've traveled. I've lived and worked in 10 states. I've run marathons and triathlons, I've climbed mountains, I've traveled to Europe (I haven't written a novel, but hey, there's still time, eh?) I've set goals. I've prioritized them. I've tried to use my time productively.

But lately, it seems that I've been doing things halfway. I've been setting the goals, but not really working towards them. I've been starting projects, but letting them sit around, half finished. I've been firting ideas, but not really committing to them. And I'm not really happy with who I've become lately.

So, as the year comes to a close, and my horrible incapacitizing cold is coming to and end, I'm becoming a little more motivated. And, motivated by this gal, and this guy, and this chippy, and this chap, and this new firecracker I read about in a magazine, I'm taking back a little more control over the course my life shall take next year.

Today's Joy:
Running 3 miles without feeling like I was goind to throw up

2010-12-21T20:05:00.000-08:00

So, after what I thought was a nice, gradual return to working out, I decided that tonight was the night I could start running again. Nothing crazy. Just a 10 minute mile pace.

I ran one mile. ONE!

And I felt like I ran 18. My body feels like I just got run over by a truck.

Crap.

Today's Joy:
Work Holiday party with a fun Yankee Swap.

Snow and a question

2010-12-20T19:57:00.000-08:00

It's Monday...and a snowy Monday at that. I was all in love with the snow this morning, awed at how pretty and white everything looks. By the time I got out of work today, warmed up the car, scraped all the ice and snow off the car, cranked the defrost up to high, and drove home on the slippery, unplowed roads; well, I was over it. Exactly one day to get over the snow. (Bah Humbug!)

But, since it's Monday, its also time for the 50 Questions to Free Your Mind:

Week 8

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

Well, if that were the case, I would have died last Wednesday! (But then again, I plan on living beyond the average life span anyway, so maybe not)

Looking back, I'd live a little more in my teens and early 20s. I was always the girl who did exactly as she was told. Got good grades, studied hard, came in on time, never did anything that would cause my parents grief. (and yet, I still was always in trouble. Go figure) You could say that I was preparing for a sensible life.

It wasn't until I was in my mid 20s that I figured out that I didn't want a sensible life! I wanted to drive across the country with the top down and my dreadocked, purple hair blowing in the wind. I wanted to climb mountains and swim with the dolphins and camp in the desert. I wanted the unconventional life, not the white picket fence and 2 children and dog. (Ok, I wanted a dog. I big, friendly, slobbery one)

I love reading memoirs; the good, sensible, girls who did everything they were told don't write memoirs. They'd be too boring. And yet, the wild crazy people -- the ones who did everything they shouldn't have and by all accounts should have been the failures -- have just as much chance of success and the sensible people. I didn't know that when I was younger. I wish I had.

The thing is, I know that now. So if I were to take this question to heart, I should be living my life as if it were on borrowed time. I've already outlived the hypothetical average life span. I should be taking as many chances as possible.

I think I'll start tomorrow.

Today's Joy
the snow (I'll go back to this morning in my mind)

Holiday Movies

2010-12-19T17:08:00.000-08:00

"Christmas waves a magic wand over the world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful" --Norman Vincent Peale

Nothing can dampen that holiday spirit like being sick for the first 19 days of December. Yeah, I caught some kind of super-cold. Every time I started to feel better, I got slapped upside the head by its evil viral fists! Plus, my printer bit the dust this week.

Bah Humbug!

I entered this weekend simultaneously grouchy-ginchlike and frantic with the thought of all I needed to accomplish: finish Xmas shopping, write the Christmas letter for the Christmas cards, get those all addressed and stamped...get stamps...get a yankee swap gift, make something for the work pot-luck. Argh! I just wanted to climb back in bed with the humidifier on high and and endless mug of tea.

I tried to put myself in the mood; I dressed in red and green. I put on Christmas Carols. I drank some wassail. But nothing worked. Finally, I stumbled across something that could reach me unlike Mariah Carey screeching her way through 'Oh Holy Night'....I put on the Turner Classic Movie network.

White Christmas was on. I love White Christmas. It always makes me smile. It also gives me a serious case of leg-envy. (I think my entire body would only come up to Vera-Ellen's mid thigh! But this email isn't about my inferiority complex....) I was addressing envelopes and humming along in complete contentment.

After White Christmas, came A Miracle on 34th Street. I know it seems impossible, but I'd never seen that movie. (of course, I didn't see Casablanca until I was 26 or It's a Wonderful Life until I was 30, so that's just par for the course in my little world) Well. Miracle is even better than A Christmas Story. I think they actually got the REAL Santa Claus on the cast! (Really. He spoke Dutch and everything. I saw it!) I mean, watching the real Santa for a couple hours puts the printer situation in perspective.

And then today. When I came home with the new printer and was waiting for the software to upload to the computer, I came across Auntie Mame. Another movie I had never seen. (Were people funnier in the 1950s? 'Cause that movie was hilarious!) And I think I have a new role model, now, too!

And there you have it. A mere 6 days before Christmas, the miracle has occurred! I'm off to dance around the Christmas tree in my reindeer sweater. Have a good week!

Free Your Mind

2010-12-13T18:48:00.000-08:00

I'm back! I spent the weekend sleeping, trying to shake this super cold from hell, drinking tea, and rallying to make appearances at the holiday party and play I was committed to. 'Twas fun, really. And I STILL am not back 100%!!!

But I am back enough to ponder....50 Questions to free your mind.

Week 7:

Are you doing what you believe in or settling for what you are doing?

You know, I can't help but think that this is a very all or nothing kind of question. Either you are doing what you believe in completely or you are settling. And while I get the purpose of the question: are you just doing something -- anything -- to pay the bills while ignoring your dreams or are you going after your dreams? In reality, I don't think things are as black and white.

For instance, I could say undoubtedly that I am doing something I believe in. I make a living helping people. I am working with people I really like, in a good environment, for a company I truly feel is a compassionate and forward thinking. I am making a difference.

On the other hand, there are things I'm not thrilled with. There are things I have to put up with that aggravate the crap out of me in order to continue to do what I do. There things that I have to settle for in this life. And there are dreams I'm still striving for that I have not reached yet and in all honesty may or may not work out in the end.

I think that's true with most things in life. In work, in love, when buying your "dream house", when going on vacation with friends. There are things you do that let you live out your dreams and things that you must settle for in order to do those things that let you live out your dreams.

That's where I am right now.

2010-12-08T18:20:00.001-08:00

A couple days ago, I wrote that my voice had returned and I was on the mend. Well, that was after a weekend full of lots of sleep. Monday and Tuesday were filled with 10+ hour work days in which I had to pretty much talk all day long. VOICE NOT BACK.

Until today. Today at 3:00 pm, exactly. I was in the middle of an evaluation when suddenly my head went pfffffffft and the congestion in my head felt...looser. And my head felt less echo-y. And it wasn't a strain to talk. So NOW...I can say....I'm on the mend!

Today's Joy:
talking!

The end is near!

2010-12-05T16:19:00.000-08:00

Today, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. (or, I'm breathing the air from the end of the tunnel?) I think I'm finally starting to kick this cold! It was the first time in 5 or so days that I had a phone conversation that didn't go like this:

me: Hello?
other person: Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?
Yes, I can hear you.
Are you on speaker phone? Cause I can hardly hear you.
No, no speaker phone. I'm sick.
What? I didn't get that. You must be in a spotty area. Are you in the car?
No, I'm home. I'm sick.
What was that?
I'm home. I'm sick.
You keep fading in and out. Are you holding the phone away from your head or something?
No, I'm sick. I have no voice.
You're what?
SICK! I'M SICK!
Oh, wow! That's not the phone? That's your voice?
Yes.
Ok, I'm hanging up. I'll text you.

I can actually sort of talk now. So it's good. I have a zillion things to do right now, most work related, but every time I sit down to do them, I get fuzzy headed and can't think straight. So next week is going to be busy.

Plus, that 30 workouts in 30 days thing? Not going so well. Either I'm doing a lot of doubles later in the month or its a lost cause.

But I AM still getting rid of stuff, which is going swimmingly. I was able to drag myself to the thrift shop today with two bags of stuff. Including:
another book, another shirt, a holiday tin that I had from last year that just isn't practical for using as gift wrap this year. A pair of running shoes went into the shoe recycling container at the running store. And I pulled out some craft materials to give to my oldest niece.

There just may be room in here for some new stuff come Xmas!

Today's Joy:
Saw the Harry Potter movie with my two best buds. It was good!

2010-12-04T16:52:00.000-08:00

ARRGGHHH! I am so ready to be over this cold. I keep fluctuating between feeling like my body has let me down and feeling like I have let my body down by not taking care of myself enough and allowing myself to contract this horrible cold.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that tomorrow I'll be able to talk.

Today's Joy:
Talking to my buddy, Nerd. I miss him.

Friday's Wisdom

2010-12-03T13:04:00.000-08:00

The process of learning consists not so much in accumulating answers, as in figuring out the right questions

Today's Joy:

Hot tea with honey

cooking for the clueless

2010-12-02T07:25:00.001-08:00

Here's something that is sad but true: I tend to strike out at Thanksgiving with my contributions. I'm not sure why. I think its because people get a way of thinking what Thanksgiving food "should" be like. You know, like the stuff their mother or grandmother made. Anything that deviates from that preconceived notion is wrong. Like the time I made sweet potatoes with **gasp** parsnips, olive oil, sea salt, and chili powder. (NOT marshmallows, butter, and cream) It was like I ran over somebody's dog.

Or my cranberry sauce recipe. It's delicious! It's adapted from a Martha Stewart recipe, for crying out loud! And, yes, it can be made in a crock pot.

But try bringing homemade cranberry sauce to Thanksgiving dinner. You'll be met with blank stares and comments like "I thought cranberry sauce came in a can."

Fortunately for me, this sauce can be used on just about anything. So when I bring my sauce back home with me, I can eat it with turkey, spread it on toast, use it as a condiment on sandwiches, I even mixed some with olive oil and vinegar and made a sassy salad dressing!

(plus, the two adventurous souls who ate some on Thanksgiving loved it and asked for the recipe)

CROCKPOT CRANBERRY SAUCE

2 cups cranberries
2 cups chopped apples
1 medium orange, sectioned
1 cup orange juice
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cinnamon stick
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon chili powder

Pop fruit, juice, and sugar into crock pot on high. (Unlike many other crockpot recipes, you can't just leave and let things take their own course on this one. I mean, keep busy, do stuff around the house, but keep and eye on things) When fruit has softened until you can mash easily with fork, blend with immersion blender but leave some chunks. Turn to low and all spices. Let simmer until about 1/2 liquid is absorbed and the smell of the spices has permeated the air. (about 2 hours) Periodically stir to make sure liquid on bottom and sides doesn't burn.

You can adjust sugar amount to taste or add more water if you prefer thinner sauce.

YUMMY!

Today's Joy:
Snuggling down into flannel sheets.

December Goals

2010-12-01T18:26:00.000-08:00

You know how people say that when you have a cold your voice sounds all deep and sexy? Well, that's just rubbish! I sound like Peter Brady when the Brady Bunch sang that song: "It's Time to Change". Demi Moore voice my ass!

Anyway, it's officially winter in my book, even if solstice is 20 days away. And it's officially holiday season in everyone's book.....Happy Hanukkah everyone! I don't celebrate Hanukkah, myself, but I do enjoy lighting candles. So I'm gonna light candles every day this week...hell, every day in December! (Is it totally bad to say 'hell' when talking about a holiday?)

So in addition to lighting candles, losing my voice, and blowing my nose about every 5 minutes, December is about setting some wintry goals:

December Goals:

1) Wrap all holiday presents in recycled materials.
2) Training schedule all set up for 2011
3) Finish 5 books this month
4) Holiday Booty Buster (courtesy of this gal): Aiming for 30 workouts in 30 days. Of course, since I did not work out today, thanks to my cold, that means I'm gonna have to double it up sometime this month. That's ok. I like days like that!
5) Get stuff turned in for my advanced position (do you believe I gotta re-apply every year?)
6) Get apartment spectacularly decorated in Xmas cheer!
7) Organize a memorial for a friend (sad story)
8) Get rid of 30 more things.
9) Have a great birthday
10) And a great Xmas

And since December is the season of joy:

Today's Joyful Thing:
Wheelchair clinic at work. I just love my job when that's what I'm doing.

november goals

2010-11-30T15:36:00.000-08:00

On the last day of November, I am home sick with a cold. I dragged myself up this morning, all set to rally and go to work, but I failed the 3 step test to see if I am really sick or just tired:

1) Take a shower. I must admit, I could breathe better after the shower, but I still felt like crap.
2) Drink a cup of tea. My throat felt better and my voice was a bit better, but I still felt like crap.
3) Eat something. My headache was slightly better, but I still felt like crap.

And there you have it. If those three things still don't make me feel better, it's time to call in. That, and my forward thinking that tomorrow I absolutely cannot miss work. So given the choice of today or tomorrow I chose today to sleep, drink tea, and putter around working on all my projects and piles.

On the last day of November, its also time to look back at the goals:

November Goals:

1) Lose 5#: 1/2 credit. Lost 3
2) Get 2011 race schedule set: Pretty much done. Assuming I get that coveted Boston number, the biggies in 2011 will be: April = Boston Marathon
May = Run to Remember 1/2 Marathon
June = Patriot 1/2 Ironman
July = Old Colony Olympic Distance Tri
August = Sharon Sprint Distance Tri
September = Plymouth Rock Sprint Tri and Hyannis Sprint Tri
October = Ruckus (and maybe Newport 1/2 Marathon)
We'll see how my body holds out. But with the exception of yesterday and today, I've been turning up the heat in the off season training, so I'm optimistic.
3) Get apartment into winter configuration. Done. And I'm much warmer for it!
4) Finish work presentation: yep.
5) Do certification exam: finishing touches tonite and mailing it off tomorrow! (how's that for down to the wire?)
6) Get Xmas shopping 1/2 done: sure did! And didn't go NEAR a store on Black Friday. I'm not that crazy!
7) Finish 4 books. Done under the wire on that, too. Probably couldn't have done it without the sick day, today. (no...that's not WHY I stayed home. I'm miss mucous!) And I'm pretty proud of myself. One of the books was 1100 pages long. Stupid Stephen King!
8) Post every day this month: almost. 24 posts in 30 days.
9) Get started on photo book from trip: This I haven't started. And its totally not my fault! My two friends and I decided to share all our photos and then I was going to choose from all our 3 sets. I uploaded all my prints to snapfish and sent them to my buddies. I have yet to convince them that opening snapfish will not crash their computers or invite cyber preditors into their lives. (But storing every single photo you have ever taken on your hard drive will dramatically slow down your computer!) I may just have to do this solo!
10) Get rid of 30 things this month: success. This week, I got rid of a pair of slippers and two books. (into the donation bag)

Not bad for November! But before I move on to December, one last

Today I am grateful for:
1) humidifiers
2) ginger ale
3) tea
4) naps
5) crossing everything off the to-do list.

wanderlust

2010-11-29T18:27:00.000-08:00

50 Questions to Free Your Mind:

Week 6: If Happiness was the natural currency, what would you do that would make you rich?

I would travel. By foot. With a backpack on my back. There is nothing that makes me happier than being out in nature with nothing but me and a long stretch of road or trail in front of me. I have that kind of personality, too: that I could just drop out of society and wander around as a hippie-chick wanderer for a few years. I probably would have done it, too, if that wouldn't cause my mother to have a heart attack and pace relentlessly night after night, worried I was dead in a ditch somewhere. (She just doesn't get it man! She is just not hip to the bohemian vibe!) My dad would be cool with it, though.

Anyway, if happiness were the national currency, I surely wouldn't have to worry about things like repaying student loans (or people lamenting my wasted college education as I wandered around with my backpack). And what's totally cool is...you can pretty much backpack anywhere! The US, Canada, all through Europe, Costa Rica, Chile, Hawaii (I know that's part of the US, but really, it's its own little entity, isn't it?) Yeah, I know there may be a few planes, boats, and trains involved, but that's ok. The feet are the primary source of locomotion.

As it is, I'm filling my adventurous appetite with races right now. But I rest assured knowing that wanderlust and itchy feet can't be quelled without taking to the open road eventually. Happiness may not be the national currency, it's how we pay ourselves, no?

Thanksgiving purge

2010-11-28T17:30:00.000-08:00

In addition to eating lots of turkey, being thankful, and being active I also spent my long weekend doing a little purging. This week, I got rid of:

While switching out the warm weather PJs for the cold weather PJs I filled the donation bag with:
1) flannel pants
2) flannel boxers
3) 2 T shirts
4) a pillowcase
then, I went through the bookcase and pulled 5) a book that I was never going to read and put that in the donation bag, too.
Pulled a couple more 6) magazines from the basket to bring to the gym.
And finally, on the bathroom shelf, I have a nice little 7) basket of lotions and candles. Its really nice, but I have so many lotions and scrubs and candles and such, I can't possibly use them all. Its fairly new and has never been opened. So...I'm re-gifting it as a Secret Santa thing for work. (making totally sure that this did not come from a co-worker!)

Feeling significantly lighter (despite all the food I ate on Thursday!)

Thankful Thanksgiving

2010-11-28T17:14:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving, we are all thankful for the BIG things: family, friends, our health. But I've always thought it was the LITTLE things that make the greatest difference. (Of course, that may be due in part to my own stature. But whatever.)

So once again, I give to you, HEATHER'S LIST OF STRANGE THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR THIS THANKSGIVING:

1) I'm thankful for the state of California. No offense to the other 49 states. I just had a good time there this year.
2) I'm thankful for the Olympics. I just think there is no better sporting event to watch
3) I'm thankful for the Paralympics (and for the fact that they'll actually be televised in the US next time!)
4) I'm thankful for the excellent display of athleticism, sportsmanship, and all-around grooviness by my celebrity boyfriend, Apolo Ohno at the Olympics.
5) I'm thankful for the concept of celebrity boyfriends!
6) I'm thankful for pillows.
7) And pilates circles.
8) And yoga blocks.
9) And SI support belts.
10) I'm thankful for physical therapy. Not only because that's how I make my living, but because that shit works!
11) I'm thankful I can again run and bike without excruciating pain.
12) I'm thankful for the excellent display of slowness, humility, and all-around goofiness by ME during this year's tri-season.
13) I'm thankful I don't make my living by my athletic prowess. ('Cause I'd be broke and homeless!)
14) I'm thankful for the wonderful weather we had this summer.
15) And the beach. I love you, beach!
16) I'm thankful to the concept of the tankini
17) I'm thankful I don't make my living based on how flat my abs are. ('Cause I'm be broke, homeless, and possibly a heroin addict)
18) I'm thankful for ibuprofen (I may be a recovering ibuprofen addict)
20) I'm thankful for the continent of Europe. It sits there across the ocean and beacons me
21) I'm thankful for the opportunity to travel there this year
22) I'm thankful for indian summer
23) And the colorful leaves in the fall
24) And how warm fleece is.
25) I'm thankful I don't make my living based on how well I adapt to cold temperatures ('Cause I'd be broke, homeless, and frozen to death)
26) I'm thankful I'm not frozen to death
27) I'm thankful for the farmer's market
28) I'm thankful for live music. Anywhere and anytime. Of any kind.
29) I'm thankful for online shopping. It makes my life so much easier.
30) I"m thankful that I did not watch "Food Inc" before Thanksgiving dinner.

sexiest man alive

2010-11-24T21:14:00.001-08:00

At work today, somebody brought in the People "Sexiest Man Alive" magazine. So, of course, lunchtime in the staff room sounded something like this:

Oh, yeah, he's hot.
Who?
Ryan Reynolds.
Who is he?
This guy.
Who else is in there?
He's cute. He's cute. He's hot. Michael Bolton? Are they on crack?
Leonardo Di Caprio never did it for me.
He's a good actor though. He was good in Gilbert Grape.
Yeah, he was. And Johnny Depp was in that.
Is he in the magazine?
Of course! I think EVERYONE can agree that he's hot, hottie, hot.
OH YEAH!
I'm on the fence about Jake Gyllenhaal.
Oh, really? I think he's pretty cute.
He's in a new movie. With Anne Hathaway.
Yeah, I heard they are half naked throughout the whole movie.

at this point, the ONE male in the staff room perks up:
Ann Hathaway is naked in the movie?

Half naked. I said half naked. I don't think Anne Hathaway does completely nude scenes.
She did in Brokeback Mountain.....WITH Jake Gyllenhaal, actually!
Maybe she has it in her contract: will only do nude scenes with Jake Gyllenhaal!
Man. I really went into the wrong profession!

Today I am grateful for:
1) the gym
2) having the grocery store and liquor store across the street from the gym
3) the promise of a long weekend
4) my co-workers
5) getting to see my nieces tomorrow

2010-11-23T19:33:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness Thursday is a holiday. I'm beat!

TOday I'm grateful for:

1) ball point pens
2) chocolate
3) short work weeks
4) caffeine
5) mindless magazines

50 questions to free your mind

2010-11-22T19:13:00.000-08:00

It's Monday again. And a hard Monday to get out of bed, I must say. I would have liked nothing better than to roll over, snuggle back down in the blanket, and sleep the day away. Alas, life calls.

One good thing about Mondays -- it's time again for 50 Questions to Free Your Mind, courtesy of City Girl.

Week 5: What is the one thing you would like to change most about this world?

I'd like to have a job where I can get paid to roll over and sleep in every day!

No, not really.

I'd love to have less intolerance in the world. It seems that so many of our other problems stem from the very problem of intolerance. Wars are fought over it. Lives are lost over it. And really? What's the point?

One of the great things about the world is all the diversity. I think its fantastic that there can be as many ways of looking at a situation as there are eyes doing the looking. We can learn alot from one another if we listened to other opinions. We may end up learning things we would never have thought of on our own.

Instead, it seems that we are so quick to condemn other opinions that are not the same as ours. We are so quick to point fingers at those behind the opinions. And we are so quick to demand retaliation on those behind the opinions for... what? Not being us?

It saddens me that the media just eats this behavior up, sensationalizes it, and encourages more of the same behavior in the future.

I once read a funny little book by Fannie Flagg. I don't remember the name of it. But in the book, a woman who made her living doing interviews died and got to go up to heaven and interview God (this may have actually been a dream. I don't remember) What I do remember is her final question to God "If you could go back and do anything differently, what would it be?" And God said She (God was a she) would make everyone's skin the same color. She said that when She made people, She loved how many different shades of skin there were, like flowers in the field or leaves changing color in the fall. She thought that people would see the beauty in all the different colors of skin and appreciate one another for how unique each person was. Instead, people used the color of their skin to enslave one another and discriminate against one another and start wars with one another. God said that it made Her so sad that all Her beautiful colors caused so much distress. If She had to do it over, She just would have made one color.

Yeah, it's kind of a silly little scene in a silly little book, but one that really makes you thing, huh?

If I could change that one thing about the world, I'd make us all appreciate those colors.

And I'd make everyone refer to God as "She" :)

Busy weekend, simplified

2010-11-21T15:44:00.000-08:00

I had a fun, busy, exhausting weekend. It was really crazy busy in town! This should not surprise me. It's Plymouth, Massachusetts, the site of the original Thanksgiving Day celebration. And the weekend before is when the parade, festivals, concerts, etc, take place.

People come from all over. And yet, I'm still amazed. Really? You came all the way here to this little town on the water in the November cold for Thanksgiving? I live here and I almost skipped the parade!

Of course, not having the foresight to get there early, I had to park 2 1/2 miles away and had a nice little walk to and from the parade. Today, I did the Turkey Chase (freezing! I really should have worn more layers!), saw a bluegrass band, and went to the farmer's market. Overall, a good weekend. So why am I stuck in complaint mode, cursing the cold? Some people just can't be pleased, eh?

At home, I continued to purge. Its becoming a habit once, again; one I may continue through December. Just because I'm a typical American with way too many things and a preponderance to accumulate more.

So this week, I got rid of:

1) Two pairs of socks (donation)
2) A zip up hoodie I haven't worn in over a year (donation)
3) A bunch of sunglasses cases I don't even know how I got (donation bag)
4) A large storage tin with snowmen painted on it (donation)
5) Some holiday print cloth napkins -- don't know how I got those, either (donation)
6) Went through a few more magazines in the basket and brought those to the waiting area at work
7) Threw out a small bottle of lotion that looked a bit congealed.

At this rate, I should be ready for another trip to the thrift store next week!

Today I am grateful for:

1) warm clothes
2) comfort food
3) good books
4) good friends
5) the promise of a short work week ahead!

Friday's Wisdom

2010-11-19T15:13:00.000-08:00

Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to what is present ---Albert Camus

Today I am grateful for:

1) clean drinking water

2) packages in the mail

3) yoga

4) progress towards goals

5) cleaning (yeah. I'm happy to be in a clean apartment today after a morning of scrubbing)

carrot and ginger soup

2010-11-18T21:13:00.000-08:00

Coming to the end of the wonderful bounty that's been living in my freezer after the last regular farmer's market of the season.
(Lucky for me, the special, before-Thanksgiving-Farmer's-Market is this weekend!)

I'll be branching out beyond soups, though. I got side dishes to prepare. Until then...

CARROT AND GINGER SOUP (Adapted from "The Garden of Vegan" by Tanya Barnard and Sarah Kramer)

4 large carrots, chopped
1 leek, sliced
2 Tsp dark sesame oil
1 small yam, chopped
1 Tsp fresh ginger, grated
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/4 tsp nutmeg
2 cups vegetable stock

Throw oil, carrots and leeks in crock pot on high while you cut up everything else. Transfer to low and add the rest of the ingredients. Then throw in some cinnamon and allspice just for the heck of it. Leave on low and go work out. Shower at the gym so you can run the rest of your errands -- post office, bank, recycling, gassing up the jeep, and stocking up at Costco. Then come home. Test the carrots. Leave in for a while longer, until the carrots are fork-smushable. Blend half the soup with the immersion blender and leave the other half all chunky and stuff. Yummy!

Today I am grateful for
1) carrots
2) the gym
3) fleece jackets
4) tissues
5) foot powder!

Helpful Advice from My 12 Year Old Neice

2010-11-16T20:09:00.000-08:00

"A boy on the bus asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, but the next day told him no. I told him we could sit next to each other on the bus, and text each other, and maybe go together to a dance at school, but that kissing is absolutely out. Yuck."

Today I am grateful for:

1) Foam rollers
2) caffeine
3) weighted balls
4) nutella
5) my bed