birthday meltdown

Yesterday was my birthday. ANd I had a melt-down. Not a melt down over the fact that I turned 39. (THIRTY F***ING NINE! HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?) But a melt down over the fact that once again I got a giant load of work dumped on me. Work that was actually taken off of somebody else's schedule and put on mine even though he had 2 hours of free space in the afternoon and I had no free space, no paperwork time, and once again, no lunch.

I basically started hyperventilating and said "No. I can't do it. I can't. I am not going to spend 13 hours at work when I only get paid for 10. I'm sick of it. I won't do it." And stormed off. And stormed back. To get a patient to try to do some kind of treatment with when I was fuming and about to lose it all over again.

I am happy to report that when you have a complete melt down at work, people respond. The schedule has been completely redone and I actually have not only lunches for the rest of the month, but paperwork time.

Happy birthday to me.

Bah Humbug!

"BAH, HUMBUG!" ----Ebenezer Scrooge

Last week, I was a Christmas lunatic, dancing around in holiday glee with candy canes coming out of my ears. This week, I have done a complete 180. It appears that I was far too exuberant with my holiday cheer. The forces of nature have thus conspired to take me down a notch.Only, I didn't come down a NOTCH. Instead, I went from ecstatic to downright grinchtastic.

It started with the eggnog. I love eggnog! Well, not EGGNOG eggnog. Rather, fat-free eggnog. Which, I guess technically isn't really eggnog but rather eggnog-flavored-skim milk-with-some-kind-of-thickening-agent-mixed-in. Put that way, it sounds positively disgusting, but it's actually DEEEEE-licious! Plus, it's only available around the holidays. So on Sunday night, I picked up a festive half gallon for myself.

I didn't actually get a chance to pour myself a glass of the DEEEE-licous fake eggnog until Tuesday night. That's when I discovered that the carton had a tiny hole in the bottom. I did not notice this on Sunday night. I sure noticed it on Tuesday, though! Because every square inch of my refrigerator was covered in eggnog-flavored-skim-milk-with-some-kind-of thickening-agent-mixed-in. It took me about an hour to clean up.

So Wednesday, on my way home from work, I picked up another carton. This time, I inspected the carton thoroughly before taking it home. No holes whatsoever. I open the carton as soon as I got home and poured myself a tall glass of holiday cheer. Not. It had gone sour. Know what bad milk tastes like? It's exponentially worse with eggnog flavor and thickening agent thrown in. It's downright puke-a-licious! It took me about 4 hours to get the taste out of my mouth.

Then, there was my crapulous week at work. Normally, the population of Cape Cod decreases in December when the snow-birds drive south for the winter. Not this year. This year, they are all sticking around. It's busier now than it was in July! And to accommodate all the extra appointments, the scheduling team has been getting creative. Like scheduling appointments right through my lunch break three days this week! WTF? I mean, you have to manually override the scheduling program to do this, so how does somebody NOT notice I don't get a chance to eat not one, not two, but THREE days in one week? (Don't worry, I DID get to eat. But still!)

At the end of the week, I was tying up loose ends and looking forward to next week's schedule to plan ahead. On Tuesday, we are having a department holiday party in place of our usual monthly staff meeting. But on Tuesday, not only was I booked through lunch, I was booked straight through with patients during the staff meeting/party. How the heck do you block off everyone in the entire department except for ONE person? Did I inadvertently tick somebody off? What's the deal? I just sent an email to everyone on the scheduling team to FIX THIS and went home. Geez!

And then there are the parties. Normally, I am all about parties. They are fun. There is food. Everyone has a good time. The thing about parties, though, is that people drink. And sometimes when that happens, people say or do things they normally wouldn't.

I'll be the first to admit that Drunk Heather does some pretty annoying things. Drunk Heather falls down the stairs. Alot. Drunk Heather steals giant sheet cakes. Drunk Heather texts mildly inappropriate picture messages to her friends until they have to turn their cell phones off.

But Drunk Heather is never judgmental. Or condescending. And Drunk Heather never insinuates that others lives are less valid than hers because they are different. Of course, Drunk Heather is sometimes overly sensitive, so maybe sober Heather needs to let it go.

But there's still the lunch fiasco. And the eggnog. So I feel perfectly justified in complaining and making up adjectives to describe my emotional state.

I fully expect to be visited by three ghosts this week. I'll keep you posted.

Reading other people's blogs today made me feel like I had some company. The general theme being: having a craptastic day.
I feel craptastic. I'm overwhelmed and overworked. And I just may have been lied to in a big way. Craptastic, I tell you!

As part of my master plan, and also as a way to combat the holiday feeding frenzy that has officially commenced, I have upped my gym workouts as of late. The good news is that after only 10 days, I am starting to see some results. The bad news is, my body seems to be redistributing all of its extra fat to a 3 inch area right around belly button level. Like an inner tube.

Well, I did say I was getting in the Christmas spirit. I just didn't want to resemble a WHO from down in Whoville.

Holiday Spirit

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR -- Andy Williams

This year, I am replete with Christmas spirit.

Usually, I am not. Usually, it takes me until around December 17th to get in the holiday mood. For whatever reason, this year I am like a shiny-nosed, pointy-shoed, sparkly clad lunatic.

It started the week before Thanksgiving. I had just worked a ridiculously long day and was grumpy, hungry, cranky mood as I drove home. I was angrilly punching at the radio buttons, grumbling that there was nothing on but commericals. Then, I came across a station that was playing...Christmas carols. "It's too early to start this!" I thought. I cannot possibly stand 6 weeks of Christmas carols. Then I cranked up the radio and happily sang along with the Grinch song at the top of my lungs.

The day after Thanksgiving, pulled out a box of Christmas decorations. "It's too early for this!" I thought. I left the box downstairs in the storage area until last weekend. Of course, I only brought it upstairs, I didn't actually unpack it and spread Christmas joy around the Garage Majal. But I thought about it. Happily.

Then, this weekend, it snowed. I didn't actually go out and run around in the snow, but I thought about it. I had some hot chocolate and sat on the sofa, watching movies all day. Thinking about the snow. Happily.

And today, as I trudged out to my car after another long work day, in the freezing, frigid, frosty weather, I wasn't grumpy. I wasn't cranky. (I was hungry) I was actually kind of glad it was cold, in a shivery sort of way. After letting my car warm up, I punched the button to the Christmas station, cranked up the radio, and happily sang along all the way home.

And I'm thinking of putting up the tree.

Happy happy and merry merry.

Today was K's birthday, and Slacker-Boy's last day back east. I got a quick workout in before work, then after work, had cake and ice cream.

It's been a great last few days, reminding me of the days when the four of us were inseparable, camping and going to the beach. It's good hang out with old, dear friends and tell your inside jokes that nobody else understands but make your intimate group crack up like there's no tomorrow.

We also made tentative plans...New Year's 2009 in Hawaii! Who knows if it'll materialize, but it's certainly fun to dream.

December's here!

How did it get so late so soon?

It's night before it's afternoon

December is here before it's June

My goodness, how the time has flewn!

How did it get so late so soon?

---Dr. Suess

It's December. Hard to believe that the year is ending. November fairly flew. In fact, September, October, and November all fairly flew. When I talk like this, I feel old. So, instead, I'll talk about my November goals:

1) Daily working on projects: that's about a half success. The first half of November was on preparing for an exam, the rest diving into the project box...sort of. I mean, I definitely made some headway, but not nearly the sucess of the decluttering from last month.

2) Listen to all those inspirational CD's: another half success. I listened to half of them. Not bad. Not great, but a little inspirational. Successful enough to finish the rest of them in December.

3) Books: half successful. (seeing a pattern here?) I read 3 books from my bookshelf and HALF of Three Cups of Tea. Why can't I read more than a few pages at a time? I actually like this book? I just can't seem to get into it.

4) Training: I have mapped out the triathlon training plan and reopened the triathlon blog.

5) Bust on the Turkey Trot. Too cold.

6) Movies: check. times two.

7) New towels. Half successful.

8) Certification: check

9) Got used to the schedule. love love love it.

December Goals:

1) Every day this month: I will REALLY drink 8 glasses of water. (it may help to wean me off the diet coke, too)

2) I will read: three more books from the bookshelf.

3) I will buy: as few Xmas gifts as possible. Not so much a nod to the economy as a thought I have had kicking around in my head for a while. Going to go the handmade route this year, hence the project goals last month. I, of course, will get something nice for the kids and I am committed to going in for theater tickets for my parents. But for everyone else, the gift baskets.

4) I am going to finish the CD's this month.

5) I am going to go to: the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. I've wanted to do this for so long, and I have never made it there.