The magic appeal of showers

Several weeks ago, I began something called "Adventures in Grooming". Then, like any kind of personal grooming task that takes time out of my precious day, I promptly abandoned it and went about my merry way. That's just me.

But since I am also the kind of person for whom once something is undertaken and abandoned, it will nag at me like a tiny mosquito, I have decided to jump right back in. Prompted, at least in part, because of a conversation I witnessed two weeks ago.

Two weeks ago, I was babysitting for my nieces. I arrived a bit early while my brother was still getting ready to go out. His wife said "Phew! You need to take a shower!" to which he reported "I know. I am. It's my third shower of the day." HIS THIRD SHOWER OF THE DAY. Then, my 10 year old niece came dancing in from outside and her mother told her that she needed to take a shower before going to bed. "Ok" she said. She turned to me and said "That will be my second shower of the day." HER SECOND SHOWER OF THE DAY AT AGE TEN. That is a family of four. They take --what -- 27 showers per day?

I'm not sure if any other country in the world is as obsessed with showers as we are in America. While I am a big fan of showering, I do feel that we take far too many of them. And we perceive showers as having far more power than they actual do.

For instance, there's the I-need-a-shower-to-wake-up-in-the-morning-shower. If somebody likes taking a shower in the morning, it makes them feel good, makes them smile more at their co-workers, then by all means, that somebody should take one. But they should stop using the word NEED. If their shower were to suddenly stop working I'm pretty confident that they'd wake up nonetheless. If it were difficult, they'd grab some coffee or other caffeinated beverage and bop off to work, grumbling all the way.

I know this to be true. I don't shower in the morning. I shower at night, after the gym, and go to bed with wet hair, waking up on a still damp pillow and shaking dreams of wrestling with SpongeBob out of my head. This may be directly related to my unsuccessful fight to end my caffeine addiction. But I can assure you, I do make it work every day morning shower-free.

Don't get me wrong -- the morning showers don't bother me per se. But I know many people who, like me, to to the gym after work and shower before bed. Only to get up in the morning and take another shower in the morning. Exactly WHAT are these people doing at night that makes them awake so grime covered and dirty that they need another shower before venturing out of the house? Or then, there are those who take it one step further: shower in the morning, shower after work, and shower after exercising. Maybe they need to see an endocrinologist instead.

I mean, I completely understand that sometimes we take showers for reasons other than getting clean. Just yesterday when I was simultaneously assaulted by allergies and a cold, I used the magical properties of shower to loosen the deep rattling in my chest so that I could --you know-breathe. And after a couple long training runs in 26 degree weather, the shower was less for rinsing sweat away and more for returning feeling to my hands and feet. (I was kind of like Luke Skywalker after Han Solo rescued him from that abominable snowman thing in The Empire Strikes Back and they put him in a big plastic water tank with an aqua-lung so as to rise his core body temperature? You know -- like that.) That wasn't the best shower of my life, though.

The best shower of my life was after a 15 day backpacking trip with Outward Bound. It was great. (The backpacking, not the shower. Though that was great, too)Fifteen days of backpacking around the desert in Utah. When I returned to the hotel after that great adventure, I basically dragged my red-dust covered ass into the bathroom and showered until the water ran clear. It was like being reborn!

I have friends who say: "I couldn't do that. I HAVE to have a shower EVERY day." I was backpacking around the desert! There was no water. "Oh, I'd FIND water!" they'd reply. I did find water. We used the water we found to fill our canteens so we could drink. "Oh, I'd FIND a way to shower." Really? Rolling around in a tiny, muddy, puddle? That sounds fantastic. "Oh, I'd do something." Give it up, man. There is no showering on backpacking trips in the desert. But there is the one wonderful shower at the end.

When I worked on the spinal cord unit, I had a patient tell me about the weird experience of taking his first shower after breaking his neck. "It was so weird...I couldn't feel the water below my shoulders. It took me a while to figure out that it also felt really good. So I just stayed in the shower for a long long time" He stayed there until one of the nurses came in and said "Hey! Stop hogging all the hot water! Leave some for everyone else."

I think that's great advice for us all.

adventures in grooming -- haircuts

Today was a beautiful spring day (finally!) It got me thinking about taking the top off jeepy-jeep, which of course got me to thinking about corralling my hair so that I don't end up with one giant dread lock when I arrive at my destination. The corralling of the hair is extremely important in Jeepgirl world, even if hair care, per se, is not.

The last time I got my hair cut was, um, can it have been since last March? How can that be? That's over a year! That can't be right. I must have gotten another cut since then, right? Regardless, my hair looks surprisingly good for zero upkeep in an entire year. See?

Today, I'm sporting the super straight, post New England winter hair. It sort of looks like I just spent 2 hours and an ironing board preparing myself to go see Jim Morrison in New Haven. But really, I just took a shower before bed and ran a brush through it when I woke up.

In the summer, when it get humid, things take a whole different turn. Remember the Friends episode when they went to the Caribbean and what happened to Monica? That's me. In August, I go from looking like hippie chick to looking like Slash.

I have absolutely no control over my hair. In the jeep, I can french braid, elasticize and bandanna the whole mess into submission. But as far as the texture, how it falls, whether it flies around my head in a frizzy halo or lies flat, I have no control.

I think that's why I generally keep it long. Because ponytails are my friends. As are braids, barrettes, and headbands. If you have hair elastics and headbands, you don't need product. (I've tried product in the past and it ended disastrously every time. More on that later.) With short hair, you need product.

Once, I got this super cute Meg Ryan-ish bed-head haircut. Know what? It takes an awfully long time and an awful lot of product to get that just-rolled-out-of-bed look. The only reason I got that cut was because I thought I could actually just roll out of bed. Not!

Another time, I got a longer in the front, shorter in the back, swingy, Vidal-Sasson cut. It looked great with very little effort. For about 6 weeks. Then, as it grew out between my yearly trips to the hairdresser, it just looked plain weird. And since I'm just too lazy to go to the hairdresser, weird was what I was stuck with.

Now my big dilemma is: as I approach 40, isn't this long, one length hairstyle a bit young for me?But given my lazy nature, is there any solution? AND...can this solution survive a ride in the jeep?

Adventures in Grooming

While searching out there in bloggie land for new and exciting reads, I have often come across blogs where folks post pictures of their outfits, rave about new cosmetics, or review products for hair, skin, or nails. These posts fascinate me. They literally leave me slack-jawed and confused in front of the computer screen. I would love to be so skilled in the area of "girliness" that I could actually put it all out there for the world to read and maybe even solicit advice from.

Sadly, I am not skilled in this area. I am the opposite of skilled. I am Ty, the girl Brittney Murphy plays in "Clueless." Or worse. I'm more like a female version of Tarzan. If anyone were to get a peek inside my head, they would most likely be left slack-jawed and confused.

"Is she serious that she didn't wear any make-up until she turned 35?"
"How could she NOT OWN a hairdryer?"
"Didn't shave her legs until age 30!"

Yeah, yeah, and --I'm sorry to say-- yeah. I could get away with it, too. I was THAT cute! (if I ever get around to hooking up a scanner, I'll pull out some old pictures and scan them in to prove it.)

But now, as I approach age 40, I am finding that I'm not that cute anymore. I just can't pull off the disheveled, hippy-girl look and come off as quirky and fun. Now, I look eccentric and borderline nuts.

I'm coming to the conclusion that I have to venture into the world of cosmetics and hygiene products. And it scares me.

My experiences in the bathroom rival my bad dates.

Won't you join me on the adventure? Stay tuned for Friday's newest feature:

ADVENTURES IN GROOMING WITH JEEPGIRL!

(I promise I'll try not to leave anyone emotionally scarred along the way.)