Monday, October 17, 2011

Getting Back to Center

So I've been away for a while. A long while. But I'm back now.

I've moved out of the Garaje Mahal and into a new place. I got my internet hooked up. I'm trying to get my life back.

Long story life was hijacked over the last few months. That's right -- hijacked! For several months, my life was not my own. My thoughts and deeds and emotions were spent on somebody else's agenda. Their problems became my problems. Their drama became my drama. My life became a distant glimmer on the horizon of which I had a vague recollection. I was downgraded to supporting player.

How did I let that happen? Well, yes, I've always been the kind of person who doesn't seek the spotlight. I don't like a lot of fanfare and fuss. I don't want my picture on a cereal box. I don't incessantly post updates on Facebook about how my day was better than your day. I don't write empassioned letters to the editor and sign my name like John Hancock. I blog anonymously.

But paraphrase Sting: "In this theater I call my soul, SHOULDN'T I play the starring role?"

Maybe it all starts when you start identifying with those bit players. The supporting cast. I always liked them better, anyway. And I sort of saw myself as a quirky, quick witted Joan Cusack kind of girl, rather than a Julia Roberts kind of girl. Those girls could get away with things like wearing ridiculously out of place outfits to formal events and everyone let them. Laughed with them. Admired their spunk. Who wouldn't want to go to a dinner party with Jennifer Coolidge and Annie Potts? Who doesn't love Rose, the crazy neighbor from Two and a Half Men? I sure love em! I sure want to be em!

But maybe the zany, left of center persona comes with a price. I never wanted to live in Kate Winslet's shadow. But I haven't seen direct sunlight in a while.

SO now that I'm back with my new internet connection and my new place (so new, I don't have a fun little nickname for it yet. But it has buttery yellow walls. Which may come into play in the naming ceremony) And I'm thinking.... maybe it's time to be Sandra Bullock for a while.

Just sayin'.


Carolina John said...

Yay! She's back! and back in the forefront of your own life? That has to feel good. Welcome!

btw, Kelley and I are already signed up for the myrtle beach marathon next year. Any interest in coming back down to SC?

Amy - the gazelle said...

welcome back! I'm glad you have your internet hooked up again!

lclarey said...

Welcome back, Hebba. I've been checking in almost very day. Breathing a big sigh of relief :-)