Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Last evening, I finally got a much needed haircut. My last haircut was 8 months ago, and that was only because I had taken the top off the Jeep and despite 4 elastics, a bandana, and a very TIGHT french braid, my hair still managed to work itself into a giant, matted, dreadlock. It had to go. This time, there was no wind induced tangle-fest (February is much too cold to even think of removing the hard top), just a sense of general ickiness when it came to my hair.

I fully realize that most normal people do not wait 8 months between trips to the salon. I think I may have a defect on one of my X chromosones, because I also do not like purses, shoes, or shopping. The only person I know who is worse than me when it comes to haircuts is J, who went 2 and a half years between haircuts. The only reason SHE got her hair cut the last time was because it was a slow day at work and a co-worker who also worked part time as a hairdresser decided to give EVERYONE a haircut. She cut 14 inches off J's hair, bringing it from past her waist to right around bra-strap level. That was right before Thanksgiving. Of course since then, her hair has grown back about 6 inches and will be back to waist level by summer. It would take my hair about 16 months to grow 6 inches. And if I never got my hair cut again, it would never reach my waist. It grows to just past my shoulder blades and then stops. Weird.

I'm saying that as if it were a bad thing. Actually, my hair's refusal to grow quickly or long is a blessing. I have far too many hair follicles than my head size can support. If my hair grows too long, I look like a toddler peeking out from behind heavy brown drapes. Years ago, I went on a trip to Spain with my college roommate. I decided to be saucy and let my hair out from its perpetual ponytail. When the pictures came back, people I was related to were asking "Who is that Italian girl in all of your pictures?" That was ME, you idiot! I'm not Italian, I just have so much hair you can't see my face. In contrast, whenever I chop my hair short, people practically turn cartwheels around me: "Oh, you look so good! I LOVE your hair like that!" I am fully aware of this. I know I should keep my hair short. But I'm very lazy. And sometimes I like to get drunk and braid my hair in lots of tiny little braids with beads on the ends. Hence, the periods of long hair.

So when I went to the salon yesterday, I got all the usual comments from any hair specialist-type person I come into contact with: "Oh, your hair is so SHINY!", "Ooooh, its so thick", "Wow, its been a long time since you cut this." These are all euphamisms for "You are a slob and you do not deserve this hair that you so clearly do not take care of at all." Yeah, I know. Its true. But as I said, I'm lazy. This particular hairdresser decided to do me a favor and cut not one, as I requested, but four inches off. She was actually right. I should have asked for four to begin with. When am I going to learn that I should just walk in and say "Do what you need to do." ?

Now, I am playing "find the gray hairs" on my newly cropped head. They are hard to find because of the sheer number of hairs to play around in, but they ARE there. They seem to cluster in the back of my head, right around ponytail territory. I fear that I look like a crazy skunk head from behind. Not enough to get my hair COLORED, or anything like that, but just enough to induce mild paranoia. Who knows? Maybe in another 8 to 12 months, I will be saying "Do what you need to do. That includes cutting AND coloring."

AH, who am I kidding? Probably not.

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