HIGH TECH = LOW BROW

A few months ago, K purchased the Droid Incredible and has spent every waking moment since using any and every application possible....all in an attempt to convince J that it is a cost effective piece of technology. I sit by and laugh at the arguments that erupt over his using Google maps to get directions to the Dunkin Donuts three miles from the house -- the one he has gone to each and every day for coffee for the past 10 years.

So a couple weeks ago when we went on the annual camping trip (yep, the one where I was ruthlessly attacked by a yellowjacket) we HAD to use the Droid to get directions. This wasn't quite as off the wall as the Dunkin Donuts trips. After all, even though we have been going on this trip since our teens, we somehow manage to go a different way each time. So maybe the Droid would educate us on a better route after all.

The soothing female voice from the phone directed us to exit the interstate two exits before our usual turn. Then led us down a winding, meandering, very desolate road. No worries, the scenery was beautiful. We just didn't seem to be headed anywhere. We passed through tiny picturesque towns in New Hampshire with beautiful white steepled churches and signs that declared their poulations: 246 or 312.

In one such town, we passed a sign in front of the town hall announcing a Beanhole Dinner. That's right: Bean. Hole. Dinner. Not a spaghetti supper or a pancake breakfast, a pizza party or a potluck. No...a Beanhole Dinner. Now, I have absolutely no idea what a Beanhole Dinner is. I can only hope, for everyone's sake, that the picturesque town hall is well ventilated.

Shortly after Beanholeville, the soothing female voice from the Droid Incredible announced: "Connection Lost." Inside the car on the picturesque road, we went nuts.

"Are you f-ing kidding me? She drives us out in the middle of nowhere and then just abandons us?!?"

"That BITCH!"

I declared that when we got the connection back, I was gonna kick her right in the teeth.

J went one better: "I'm gonna kick her right in the Beanhole!"

And thus was born our newest and favorite insult: beanhole. We waxed poetically how funny it is that Cakehole, Cornhol, and Beanhole all quite obviously refer to completely different spots. And how funny the words are in their own right. Why is that? Why is it so funny to say "Shut your cakehole?" I don't know. It just is.

We finally arrived at our destination: a mere 45 minutes longer than our next longest trip to the Saco. (that was the year the police set up a sobriety check point that created a 4 mile backup) Undeterred, K proceeded to declare the superiority of the directions from the Droid. "Yeah, we might have gotten here earlier without this, but the Droid gave us beanhole."

We may just have to kick him in the Droid Incredible.