Sunday, December 18, 2011

In limbo

For the past few weeks, I have been committing a crime. Daily. Not just any crime, either. THE blogging crime. For the past few weeks, I have been...lurking.

Yes, I turn on the computer and navigate over to the blog and then what everyone else is doing and get the heck off the computer. *gasp*

One of the things I like about blogging is that it seems to put you back in touch with that inner voice, the one that is the real YOU. At least blogging does that for me. In times where I felt like I had lost myself, I'd just sit down and type for a while and I'd find myself all over again. Plus, there was the added benefit of all those other like minded souls on the same journey who acted like guides by either sharing their own journey or by making observations and comments on yours.

But for the past few weeks, I've been feeling this need to feel paper under my hands. To hold a pen in my fingers. And to keep my thoughts closed up in a book, safely closed in a drawer when I'm done.

I know I'm not the only one who feels that way from time to time. In her book, The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron assigns daily writing assignments that have to be done longhand-- typing not permitted. And I've read that sometimes Stephen King writes entire novels longhand on legal pads (and then paid his kids and their college friends to type the pages into a computer). Given the average legnth of his books, I'm surprised he even has his hands left!

I miss it though...the community, the camraderie, the practice of putting something a little less free-form, a bit more structured out there into the universe. I know it'll wait for me, though.

It's weird -- my blogging habits (not just the words, but the habits) really are a reflection of what is going on in my life. I was away for an extended period of time this year, when it felt like my life wasn't really my own. And now I'm sort of here and sort of not, lurking around in limbo. I'm on the periphery, ready to jump back into life, but not quite able to yet.

Just a few more obstacles to get around. A couple more weeks to sort things through.

Then, I'll be ready to jump back in, full force. Not only into blogging, but into life, as well!

1 comment:

Carolina John said...

Take your time and take it as it comes. Being disconnected or lurking is just as important some times as interacting. Develop your feelings before sharing them. It's the total opposite of this twitter and on-demand fueled culture where every thought must be expressed on at least 3 channels as soon as you have it.