CARRIBEAN DREAMING

RANDOM THOUGHTS UPON RETURNING FROM A VACATION:

1) It seems like the first few days back from a vacation are more exhausting that the last few days before. Of course, there is the laundry to do upon returning, the strange smell to identify that you never noticed in your home before, jet lag, the lingering headache from the unhappy 2 year old on the plane, and the wierd GI distress that always hits right as the plane hits the runway. A vacation from the vacation; now there's an idea.

2) That color blue of the ocean in theCarribean...lovely. Is the ocean that color anywhere else in the world?

3) People have really taken the "Pirates of the Carribean" thing and run with it! I saw more pirate stuff on St. Martin than I did in the Disney store. Do you think Johnny Depp had any idea it would get so out of control when he first started staggering around like a drunken transvestite? Did he and Tim Burton sit down together and say "Hey, let's put the whole world under our collective spell"? I guess there's nothing to do but jump on the bandwagon.

4) Of course, I'm 38 years old. Do I really need to own ANYTHING that has a skull and crossbones on it? Probably not.

5) I have decided that swimming in a pool when compared to swimming in the ocean is like watching the food network while eating a hot pocket.

6) Two of the friends I went with tried to talk the rest of us out of going scuba diving because we might get attacked by a shark. I think I would have a much easier time dealing with a shark attack than dealing with the fact that I went to a St. Martin and DIDN'T go diving.

7) Speaking of friends, I have come to the point in my life where my married friends are trying to live vicariously through my singleness. On a sunset cruise last week:friend:

"Hey Heather, that Australian guy driving the boat is really cute."

me: "Umm, yeah."

friend: "Why don't you go talk to him?"

me: "Um, because he's busy, DRIVING THE BOAT."

friend: "Oh, come on. You are on vacation. At least go ask his name!"

later...friend: "No, his name is NOT Aussie McBoatcaptain! You blew it! You could have had a nice evening walk on the beach hand in hand with the cute Australian guy."
(I think I saw this on an episode of Sex and the City)

8) Plus, in light of the fact that they practically poured rum right down your throat on said boat, any moonlit beach stroll would have ended with Heather barfing down the shirt of Aussie McBoatcaptain. As it was, I was mature and responsible enough to go back to my room and barf in the wastebasket. (Did I mention I am 38 years old?)

9) Nothing boosts your self esteem more than going to a clothing-optional beach. (feel free to shudder) I saw more droopy, hanging things than I could possibly identify and I dissected a cadaver in college! (referring back to the pre-vacation thought: the all over tan didn't help matters. at all.)

10) It's funny how two people can look at the same thing or even listen to the same comment and have completely different takes on it:

friend: "Oh, could you imagine living here?" (look of distaste on her face)

me: (wildly trying to remember which of the islands are US territories so as to avoid that pesky change of citizenship thing) "Oh, I could imagine living here. In a heartbeat."