Sunday, April 25, 2010

Recently I was talking with my Dad about a concept we dubbed “acclimation to nonsense”. (BTW -- a Google search of “acclimation to nonsense” will generate a large number of scientific research articles like this one) Our definition of acclimation to nonsense was much less intellectual.

In short, it’s the phenomenon that occurs when you are repeatedly exposed to something that normally you wouldn’t take seriously in the least. After a while, you become so acclimated, that it actually starts to make sense. Be it your co-workers’ critiques of the participants on “Dancing with the Stars”, Sarah Palin’s incessant babbling, or Lady Gaga’s music, after a while you start to think “This is genius!”

Of course, people like you and me are immune to this.


Except, maybe, -- in my case, anyway -- for infomercials.

Last weekend, I went to get my oil changed and I spent the better part of an hour sitting in a waiting room where a TV was tuned to -- is there an infomercial channel? It sure seemed like this TV was tuned in to it.

You will be happy to know that I didn’t fall prey to the “Lifestyle Lift Mini Face Lift” infomercial. I don’t care if I was exposed to that for weeks on end 24 hours per day. The before and after shots are downright scary! All the befores resemble nice grandmothers who might bake you a piping hot batch of cookies or something. The afters? Remember the Joker from Batman? Yeah. Like that. (Jack Nicholson, not Heath Ledger)

I said I’m not immune to infomercials, not that I’m crazy.

No, it was the next infomercial that got me. And in my defense, it seemed to be targeting me specifically. I’m into health and fitness. I exercise regularly. I try to eat right. But I don’t always succeed. I could use a little help in that department.

Besides, Jack La Lane looks fantastic for his age! What is he? 137 year old? And he still swims 7 or 8 miles before breakfast every morning! I want to be like him. So we he started talking about his juicer…man, oh, man. I was hanging on every word.

When my Jeep was ready, I made a beeline to the mall. I had a bunch of Macy’ gift cards and coupons that were just itching to be spent. As it turned out, the Sharper Image had the exact same juicer as Mr. La Lane for $30 cheaper. (Sorry Jack. Thanks for the inspiration, but you’ll have to make due without my $50 in Macy’s points)

My apartment has been in turmoil. My countertops have been a hodgepodge of apples, pears, oranges, grapefruit, carrots, celery, strawberries, cucumbers, mangos…you name it, I’ll juice it! I think I may be gaining weight at an exponential rate simple because of the sheer volume of juice I’ve produced. (just kidding. It’s really filling. I got a freezer full of juice because I can’t possibly drink it all at once)

The only problem is that there’s somebody else who likes the juice even more than me. ANTS.

Now I’m trying to find that infomercial channel, again. I’m sure somebody out there want to sell me an environmentally friendly ant solution!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That's hilarious! Well, all except for the ants part, of course...

So, are you going to change your name from "JeepGirl17" to "JuiceGirl17"?