Saturday, January 21, 2012

All or Nothing

Something that's been on my mind lately is all or nothing thinking. You know, when you have this idea that either you are 100% there or not there at all. I often have the all or nothing thinking conversation with patients who are frustrated by a setback or by slow progress. Some days, I have that conversation multiple times with multiple people. By the end of the day, I feel like all or nothing thinking is the bane of my existance!

But today, I realized with startling clarity that I am guilty of all or nothing thinking, too.

It came to me, strangely enough, when I was driving. Today, we got our first real snowstorm of winter. Those little tiny flakes that blow around and accummulate so quickly. The roads were a mess and the wind was intense. I popped the jeep in 4WD and out I went. I love driving in the snow. Sometimes it's a bit treacherous and always it's an exercise in being aware of what everyone else is doing out there. But I love, love, love driving that jeep in the snow!

So I thought about how just a few days ago, I was thinking of how I hate winter. I hate being cold, I hate how my face feels like its going to fall off when I run, I hate how dry my skin gets, I hate how staticy my hair gets. I miss the sun. I miss the beach. I miss being warm.

And yet today, I love, love, loved driving in the snow.

So maybe I can have winter and love winter at the same time. Maybe I dont have to totally love it or totally hate it.

Maybe I'm like that with a lot of other things, as well.

Like earlier today, when I was in that cozy, lazy, it's snowing outside kind of mood. And I knew I should exercise. But I just did not feel like doing P90x or Insanity. I was feeling too lazy. And that's how it always seems to be with me. Either I run 7 miles or none. Either I exercise for 75 minutes (or longer) or I don't work out. Either I do P90x or I sit on the sofa and watch tv. Kind of dumb, isn't it?

Dumb like how I get stressed out at work and have some chocolate and then just forget it with eating healthy for the rest of the day. Or week.

Maybe there's room for a happy medium?

So today, after drving in the snow with a big ol' grin on my face and shoveling off my steps and walkway for the first time this winter, I finished setting up the second bedroom as a place to exercise. And I did a 30 minute total body workout with yoga and weights. Not all out, but not nothing.


David said...

I agree with you 100%! damn I love your writing! Not sure why but when I start reading one of your posts I don't stop until I'm done! You have my full attention! Sometimes when I read I'm aware that I'm reading something but then I can't remember what I just read. And yes life is not black and white, it's actually a shade of grey!

me said...

This just inspired me to get up and do a short workout... because I usually don't unless I can do like 1.5-2 hours. Yay 2012, the year of shades of grey?

BTW I want to comment more on your blog but it's nearly impossible; OpenID doesn't work reliably and I don't always want to use my Google account.