Tuesday, December 15, 2009

the big one

Well, it's here. It's really really here. Today I turned 40. FORTY!! And I have no idea how that is even possible seeing that I just graduated from high school like, last week.

J joking asked me "Is this what you thought your life would be like at 40?" And I joked back "Living above your garage, single, and badly in need of new tires?" But really? I never gave thought as to what my life would be like when I was forty, because I never saw myself as being that old.

I don't feel old, though. I ran 7 miles today at an 8:18 pace, which may not seem fast to some, but is fairly flying to me. And my big joke today was: NOW I CAN OFFICIALLY BE A COUGAR! Does anyone ever really feel old? Or are you always in your early 20s in your head?

When I turned 30, I had a bit of a crisis, thinking: "Oh my gosh! I don't have a PhD, I only speak one language, I haven't run a marathon, I haven't made a million dollars, I don't play an instrument, I haven't met Keanu Reeves....I'm so far behind!"

Now, I don't feel like I'm in crisis mode. I'm like...I'm not fluent but I can do physical therapy in Spanish, I've run a couple marathons and I'm training for my 3rd (and my first half iron man), I'm financially stable, I can strum come chords on the guitar, I don't really want a PhD, and, well, Keanu is out there somewhere. (I can't be a cougar with him, though. He's older than me)

I feel good.

I feel like I'm where I should be. For now.

And I have some lists to go write. Because even though I feel good, I can't possibly turn 40 without making a big list of things to do.

Oh, what a year it's going to be!

6 comments:

the gazelle said...

happy birthday! I wonder if anyone is ever where they think they should be!

I think you're doing pretty good for such a young'un! :)

I hope you had a great day & a fantastic birthday week.

lclarey said...

Happy Birthday, Heather.

I do think you will have an amazing year ahead.

geekhiker said...

(Said with the best pick-up-line-in-a-bar voice I can muster) Yo, cougars are Hotttt. Call me. ;)

Kidding aside: Happy Birthday!

I think I'm currently where you were at 30 with the list of unaccomplished things... no desire for Keanu though!

Carolina John said...

happy birthday heather. sounds like you've accomplished a lot in your 30's and are forging ahead with an open mind and able heart. that's all any of us can ask for, really.

shellyrm said...

Happy Birthday!!

Great run...for any age!

Good luck on that bucket list.

spleeness said...

happy birthday!!

You must be in SERIOUS shape to run that much that fast. YES, that is fast!

I totally love you for saying "NOW I CAN OFFICIALLY BE A COUGAR!" -- that's going to be me in about 9 months. I feel the same exact way - 30 was, in some ways, harder than now because I'm more at peace with the now. Yay us!

Hope you have a great birthday year!