the big one

Well, it's here. It's really really here. Today I turned 40. FORTY!! And I have no idea how that is even possible seeing that I just graduated from high school like, last week.

J joking asked me "Is this what you thought your life would be like at 40?" And I joked back "Living above your garage, single, and badly in need of new tires?" But really? I never gave thought as to what my life would be like when I was forty, because I never saw myself as being that old.

I don't feel old, though. I ran 7 miles today at an 8:18 pace, which may not seem fast to some, but is fairly flying to me. And my big joke today was: NOW I CAN OFFICIALLY BE A COUGAR! Does anyone ever really feel old? Or are you always in your early 20s in your head?

When I turned 30, I had a bit of a crisis, thinking: "Oh my gosh! I don't have a PhD, I only speak one language, I haven't run a marathon, I haven't made a million dollars, I don't play an instrument, I haven't met Keanu Reeves....I'm so far behind!"

Now, I don't feel like I'm in crisis mode. I'm like...I'm not fluent but I can do physical therapy in Spanish, I've run a couple marathons and I'm training for my 3rd (and my first half iron man), I'm financially stable, I can strum come chords on the guitar, I don't really want a PhD, and, well, Keanu is out there somewhere. (I can't be a cougar with him, though. He's older than me)

I feel good.

I feel like I'm where I should be. For now.

And I have some lists to go write. Because even though I feel good, I can't possibly turn 40 without making a big list of things to do.

Oh, what a year it's going to be!