Friday, June 29, 2012



(courtesy of Amanda and her 30 day challenge)

(courtesy of the green smoothies)

They are a bit salty, but totally yum!

great for the vegetables chips and carrots

Been using the gym boss for HIIT and tabata style workouts
Love it!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Things I learned in June

Things I learned this month:

1) I don't mind rain as much as I thought I did. I actually like listening to it when I fall asleep.

2) Ally Mc Beal is a great show. I never watched it when it was on TV, but I'm Netflixing and I quite like it.

3) I am absolutely not bikini ready by any stretch of the imagination. Rather, I look like Indiana Jone's sidekick.

4) Squirrels and chipmunks love strawberries. I think I have established a container garden for critters. Thank goodness for the farmer's market.

5) Adaptive Sports is the best part of my job. I love it.

6) There are a lot of concerts I want to see this summer.

7) I can put up the soft top on the jeep in under 2 minutes. I'm that good! 

8) Dance recitals should have a two hour time limit.

9) I really need to have a fitness goal to work toward in order to keep myself consistant.

10) I also need an eating plan to keep myself consistant

Wednesday, June 27, 2012


This post brought to you by Mamakat and her (almost) world famous weekly writing workshop! This week, I chose the following prompt:


Last year, I was not blogging.  I had a blog. I just wasn't posting. Last year sucked.

Last year, I was living in an apartment over my best friend's and my other best friend's (her husband) garage. I am no longer friends with one of them. That's a bad thing. I am still friends with one of them. That is a good thing. In fact, it is one of the best things I have ever done, standing by my best friend when things sucked.

Things sucked for a really long time. They still kind of suck, but less.

I'm better, now. I've moved to a new apartment. I'm starting to put my life back together. I'm starting to feel like myself. I'm blogging once again. That's a good thing.

One of my best friends is getting better, too. Putting things in order. Starting to move on. That is also a good thing.

One of my former best friends appears to be getting worse. Things look like they are spinning out of control. Living in a fantasy world of sorts. That's neither a bad thing nor a good thing. It's just this weird thing we call life.

In these blog posts, we pour out our hearts and try to extract a nugget of wisdom from life to share with the world. But oftentimes, life is just too big, too complicated, too confusing to concentrate into that one small but powerful lesson.

Sometimes, however, life is exceedingly simple and clear: I stood by my best friend when things sucked and it is one of the best things I have ever done.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Tuesday's Bad Dates: Steve part 3

Last week, I was telling the story of Steve, the guy who thought we were dating while I thought we were hanging out. For the first time in Tuesday's Bad Date's history, he was the one  having a bad time and I was the source of the misery.

In my defense, however, did you see Steve's description? How could anyone possibly see him as possible dating material? Also, did I happen to mention that he was 13 year younger than me? Seriously. What the hell is wrong with young guys these days? It's like the concept of "cougar" has completely gone haywire! I'm seriously thinking of getting myself a T-shirt that says "I am not Mrs. Robinson".


Over the course of a few months, Steve and I hung out on a number of occasions whilst Steve had this hope of these encounters morphing tete-a-tetes:


Steve and I met at a bike path after I mentioned I was going on a training ride and he asked to join me. I had planned on a 35 mile ride and was waiting with my rode bike with clipless pedals. Steve arrived with a BMX-style dirt bike. "When did you get that, when you were 12?" I asked. "Well, I, um, um, no. This is just a couple years old." said Steve. (I later found out that he did, in fact, get the bike for Christmas when he was 14) Instead of my distance ride, I decided I was going to work on leg strength. I spent the next hour in the lowest gear clipping in my right foot for 3 minutes, unclipping, clipping in my left foot for 3 minutes, unclipping, clipping in my right foot for 3 minutes, and so on. Steve huffed and puffed along behind me, red-faced on his 20 inch mag tires.  


We saw Slumdog Millionaire. At the end of the movie, I turned to him and said "Oh my God, that could have been you! I'm so glad your mom adopted you when she did!" 


The waitress at The Olive Garden spilled a big glass of ice water on his lap. I ran out to my jeep and retrieved a pair of sweat pant for him with the warning that they may actually be too big for him.

But I still had no idea he thought we were going on dates until he referred to our meeting as a date. The meeting that had the following interaction:


( A  conservation in which many things were said and unsaid)

Steve: "So I'm working over at the hospital now"
Me: "Oh, that's great. Do you like it?"
Steve: "Yeah it's pretty good. Plus, they'll pay for my tuition for me to go back to school"
Me: "Are you going for paramedic training?"
Steve: "No, I'm going for physician's assistant"
Me: "Wow. That's great. Where are you going?"   (I didn't think you were smart enough for physician's assistant school)
Steve: "At the community college"
Me: "I didn't know they had a physican's assistant program at the community college" (Man, I really am a bitch. Who the heck do I think I am, deciding who is and isn't smart enough to major in whatever they want)
Steve: "I'm taking the pre-reqs now. I'm deciding where I'm going to apply"
Me: "That makes more sense. What classes are you taking now?"
Steve: "I'm just taking one class at a time"
Me: "Well, yeah. It's kind of hard to take classes when you are working full time"
Steve: "Well, I'm not working full time, I'm working 20 hours a week"
Me: "Oh. Well, that'll give you more time to study"  (Then why can't you take more than one class at a time, dude? Everyone I know -- including myself-- worked 20 hours while taking a full caseload)
Steve: "Oh, I need it, too. These pre-reqs are really hard!"
Me: "What are you taking right now?"
Steve: "Chemistry"
Me: "What kind of chemistry? Organic chem? That was hard."
Steve: "Just chemistry. 101. But what sucks is that I'm probably going to have to pay for the class myself"
Me: "Why?" (Chem 101 is easy. It's basically math)
Steve: "Because you need at least a C for the hospital to pay for it."
Me: "Could you get a tutor?Steve: "I have a tutor. I had a tutor the last time I took it, too, and that didn't help"
Me: "last time? How many times have you taken Chem 1?"
Steve: "This is my third time"
Me: (Ding. Ding. Ding. Ok, I'm not a bitch. I'm just very astute) "Well, maybe third time's a charm"
Steve (changing the subject) "So what do you want to do for our next date?"

Yeah. Clearly I had to cut Steve loose. Clearly I had to do it gently. Clearly Steve wasn't the dumb one in that scenario. Maybe I need to take some community education classes on reading body language and being more observant.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Healthier Mousse Option

Since I have a tendency to come home and eat everything that isn't nailed down at night, I figured that it may behoove me to investigate some sweet, chocolate-y recipes that wouldn't make me gain 10 pounds right on the sofa. Hmmmm....

I found this little nugget in "The Way of the Happy Woman" by Sara Avant Stover:


2 Avocados

1/2 cup of cocoa powder

1/2 cup agave nectar

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Place all ingredients in food processor and blend until creamy.  I found the mixture a tad to thick to blend uniformly, so I added water 1 tablespoon at a time until it blended smoothly.

Verdict: incredibly rich, quite chocolate-y and very mousse-like texture. (Of course, then I remembered that I'm more of a pudding girl than a mousse girl) But overall, it did satisfy my cravings tonight.

I added some shredded coconut on top just for a bit of flair!

I give it a thumbs up.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Weekly Musing

This week's question to muse comes courtesy of this chick and her book, "Add More -ing to Your Life", which I have been reading and enjoying quite a bit.

What is that feeling that plaques you?

For me, that feeling in anxiety. Frantic, frenzied, whirlwind anxiety. It's always been there. There is a picture at my parent's house of my brother's 5th birthday party. In it, my cousin, who was 2 at the time, was leaning over to blow out the candles on my brother's cake. And I had the most anxious, stressed out look on my face. I look at that picture and I remember feeling anxious that if she blew out his candles...well, I don't know what would happen, but it would be just terrible!
Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck at that birthday party, trying to get her to stop blowing out somebody else's candles before something terrible happens all these years later.
When my life gets out of balance, the anxiety returns and settles in at the bottom of my abdomen. I feel it behind my eyes, in my clenched jaw, hanging over my head like a heavy, constricting hood.
Anxiety chases me, pursues me; makes me run around aimlessly with herky-jerky non productive movements and a non productive life.
"I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to...."
I have to stop her from blowing out those candles on somebody else's cake or....I don't know what will happen.

When my life gets out of balance, anxiety is the feeling that plaques me.
What about you?

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Four Questions One Answer

This Wednesday, I'm joining back in the fun over at Lacey's and playing Four Questions, One Answer

The Questions:

1) What has been your favorite vacation destination?

How could I possibly pick just one? How could I possibly pick just one dream destination I have yet to go? I love every place I have been for different reasons. I loved Ierland for the singing and the bars, the friendly people and feeling like family amongst complete strangers. I loved Spain for the sangria, the architecture, the quirkiness, the fields of sunflowers, and the random vaction friend, Andre, we found there. I loved Portugal for the misty ocean town of Port and the sweet wine, port. I loved Italy for the food, the history, the art, and for Venice. Venice is a like a dream. I loved Turks and Caicos for the scuba diving! I loved Vietnam and Cambodia for the food, the people, the beautiful landscape, and for breaking my misguided American notions of what Vietnam and Cambodia were like.

Everywhere I travel, I feel like I learn and taste and experience and grow. I feel like I leave as a different person, one slightly better than the person who arrived. I never feel as alive as I do when I am traveling. And there are so many more places to see!

2) What is your least favorite feeling in the world?


3) What song pulled you through that tough spot?

"Name" (by the GooGooDolls)

4) What item of clothing do you feel most confident in?


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Tuesday's Bad Dates--Steve Revisited

On this Tuesday morning, I started the day by getting into a fight with an orange. The orange won.

And it reminded me that around here, Tuesday ALWAYS used to be dedicated to complete disasters -- of the dating kind, that is. A long four months ago, I started the story of Steve and then promptly stopped telling it. Poor Steve! How could I leave him hanging like that? Well, quite easily, really. That's apparently what I do to Steve.

Last February, I left Steve (and myself) hanging at a Halloween party, where Steve had just bravely come to my rescue from the harassment of my friend, G-Man. This despite the fact that G-Man looked  like a miniature incredible Hulk and Steve looked like something I could snap in half over my knee if I really wanted to. (this coming from a 5'0" 110# Princess Leah) He also walked with the tiniest bit of a limp and had a voice that was just the slightest bit too high. (He looked like a smaller version of Raj from The Big Bang Theory. In a pair of scrubs.)

How gallant was that? I mean, I had thought that chivalry was dead, but here was some guy walking into what could easily be his complete anihalation to protect a complete stranger in a bar? How could anyone NOT totally love this guy? My crew immediately took him in as an honorary member and we hung with him all night. At the end of the night, we all exchanged cell phone numbers because we were all going to get together EVERY TIME this band played anywhere and be besties for life!

Turns out, I was the only one Steve called.

We kept meeting for outings that I considered friendly get togethers between buddies. Only later did I learn that Steve considered them dates...

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day and my Dad gave me a present. That's just the kind of Dad he is.

"Hey Kid," he said. (I'm not a kid anymore, but he still calls me "Kid." He's one of those Dads.) "I saw this last week and it reminded me of you." He gave me a smiley face shirt.

When I was little, smiley faces were my absolute favorite things in the entire world. I called them "funny faces." I had a funny face cup and a funny face plate. I had funny face sheets. I had a funny face hat, funny face scarf, and funny face mittens. I had countless funny face shirts. And for my 3rd birthday, my parents got me a funny face cake. Ok, for my 4th birthday, too. That was the kind of parents I had.

Today, my Dad said that he noticed that I seemed a bit down lately. "You haven't been smiling the way you usually do." He told me that things always get better but until I feel better, he wanted to give me something that might make me smile.

It did.

Today is Father's Day and my Dad gave me a present. That's just the kind of Dad he is.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Book Report

Over the past few weeks, the entire staff at work has been passing around a book and discussing it in the the staff room. It's been the subject of quite a few lively discussions. Everyone has an opinion. It's caused quite a stir.

Nope, not that book.

I'm talking about Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safre Foer.

I was somewhat interested in the movie that came out last year with Sandra Bullock and Tom Hanks. I never did get around to going, though. So when the book started circulating through the staff room a few weeks ago, I snatched it up. It wasn't what I expected it to be.

Truthfully, I have no idea what frickin' happened. I have a theory, but I'm not really sure.

Ten people at work read it, and we have 10 different interpretations of what happened.

On the surface, it's the story of a 9 year old boy who goes on a quest to find the meaning behind a key that he found in his father's closet after his death in the 9/11 tragedy. Woven in are two other seperate, yet related stories: his grandmother's story and his grandfather's story. Things get steadily stranger from there.

For instance, there are photographs interspersed with the text. At first, the pictures relate to what is happening in the plot. But then , they become almost randomly thrown in. A number of them appear repeatedly: doorknobs. Birds. Towers. A man jumping to his death from the World Trade Center. Are they supposed to be literal? Symbolic? A combination of both? Yes. Yes. And yes. I think.

Then there is a 3 page section where there aren't words, but numbers. A character who cannot speak has placed a phone call and it pushing the buttons on the phone to spell out words. I, stupidly, took this to be a challenge. A bit of a puzzle to solve. SO I sat down with pen, some paper, and my cell phone to translate. I got about 4 sentences in when it dissolved into inexplicable rubbish. Then I Googled it. To find that just about everyone got the same 4 sentences as me and couldn't get any more. (Also...there's a computer program that can do this translation for you) Some tenacious person out there also ran the program for both Russian and Polish words but came up with nothing. So...I guess we are supposed to take that to mean this character is a mystery? (I considered him a mystery as he is appears to have 3 different names as the book progresses and seems to be at times German, at times Polish, at times Jewish and other times not.)

The author does some really strange things with the font, as well.

All in all, I did find it to be very well written and emotionally true. Whether or not you can descipher the rest of the plot, the book is very clearly about grief and human nature. It's both heart wrenching and beautiful.

I would be interested in reading Jonathan Safre Foer's other books, Everything is Illuminated and Eating Animals . Maybe I'll be able to follow them a little more clearly.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Mid Month Check In

I can't believe it's June 15! Half way through June, already. We had lots of rain here, so it still feels rather cool (it was definitely warmer in May) but this is New England, so I guess that's par for the course.

This month, I tried something a little different when it came to choosing goals. Things to get rid of, things to keep, and new things to acquire. (Figuratively speaking, of course) I also figured I should do something else a little different: check in on those goals and redirect myself every now and then!

Things to Get Rid Of:

1) Poundage: I've dropped about 2, which isn't great, but isn't bad, either. I'm starting to realize that I need to get rid of some anxiety in my life before the poundage leaves.
2) Caffeine: Again, I'm trying to take the genlte approach here, though that seems to fly in the face of the "experts" out there who all seem to recommend going cold turkey with the caffeine. I've cut it about in half. Which is pretty good, since I'm half way through the month!
3) Overworking: The good news here is that I haven't stayed at work until 9 at night once this month! (what a weird thing to feel happy about) I've taken a step back and seen that it isn't ALL me being a workaholic. There are some definite troubles afoot at my place of employment, which makes me sad in a way, because I truly believe that the work we do there is good and important and honorable. But at the same time, I'm trying to embrace the idea that the work is not the same as the place. And that I can't keep banging my head against the wall to get things to change when it seems that the ones holding the power aren't interested in change. Plus, work does't equal identity, either. So I'm trying to get out on time and purposely leaving the things undone that aren't my responsibility to fix. It's harder than I imagined it would be. But I think the rewards are worth it.
4) TV: I never really watched a lot of it before. Just not even turning it on is easy-peasy.
5) The fear of committing to something: Is there a way to objectively measure this? I'm not sure. But, I feel better. SO there's that.

Things to Keep:

1) Daily Journaling: About 4 days a week. I like it. It keeps me centered.
2) COntainer Gardening: Love me my container gardens, though my cucumber drowned with all the rain and the chipmunks keep eating my strawberries. I really need to add some pictures of my happy little garden.
3) Group Activities on the Weekend: I think I'm finally settling into a nice balance between group activites and alone time
4) New Recipes:  A lot of my new recipes have been of the smoothie variety this month.
5) Keeping on Track with a Buddy: looking good!

New things to Get:

1) Green Smoothie Habit: ONce I got over the look of the things (seriously? It looks like I'm drinking Soilent Green every day) I got totally hooked. I love them. I love them. I love them. If it were possible to marry a food, I'd marry a green smoothie.
2) Fireproof Box for Valuables: Ok, so maybe this wasn't figurative. I literally bought a box and put the irreplacable paperwork inside. One less thing to worry about.
3) A morning workout: Not so much. My wonderful idea that I would go to bed early and get up early for a morning workout before work never really materialized. Maybe I'm just an evening workout gal.
4) The Artists Way: I've been tooting along with that ok, may start some posts about it.
5) Run every day: about half. I'm ashamed to admit how rain has derailed my running attempts. It's not as if I'd melt!

So overall, in the next 15 days, I'm going to re-double the efforts at early to bed, early to rise, outside running, and ditching the caffeine.

How are you doning with your June goals?

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Home Decorating Fail


I have never been the kind of person who gets excited over tab curtains. Or table cloths. Or place mats. It may be partially because I've never owned my own place and decorating in rented digs is always limited by the lease stipulations: no painting, no putting holes in the wall, no hanging things on the balcony. But I think its mostly because my has always been just a place to keep my things and and sleep. Not a place to reflect my individuality or build a nest.

Then, after my move in October, I got on this minimalist kick where I pretty much wanted to get rid of extraneous stuff and keep everything clean and tidy and plain. Remember that Ikea commercial: "Are we too white?" That was my apartment.

Yet every now and then, I long for a little pop of color and pizazz. You know, a little wow factor. Of course, I'm cheap as hell so I'm not going out buying crap for my blank white canvas with yellow walls, either. But a couple weeks ago, after my ill fated attempt at gardening, I had an idea.

Bingo! Just take a flower from one of the bushes I had been unsuccessfully pruning, pop it in a miniature milk bottle, and place it on my shelf from the dollar store (attached to the wall with command stick tape so as to leave no holes)

Maybe add another little bud that blew off a bush during a rain storm. It'll open right up in no time!

Don't they look cute tucked away in my little alcove next to the fireplace? A little pop of color, a little pizazz, a little wow factor all for the grand total of $4.00. I should appear on the fricking Nate Berkus show or something!

I was very happy with my home decorating project.

And then I woke up with my eyes almost swollen shut and my whole face itchy and a really hard time breathing.

Now my front stoop is very decorated.

Stupid pollen!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

mean things we say

This week, as part of the MamaKat party, I had been planning on a funny, quirky, entertaining post on the question:

Share something mean somebody said to you once.

But I was going to twist it around, talking about how I keep a running list in my head of "the meanest things I could ever say to everyone I know." You know, just in case.

I started this quite accidentally, when I jokingly told my old boyfriend, M, that since Mr. Rogers died on his birthday, it meant that he actually sort of killed Mr. Rogers. (It sounded much funnier in my head than it did coming out of my mouth) Especially after M got way more upset than I think was necessary. He stormed off and didn't speak to me for days! Turns out, he actually knew Mr. Rogers! (He used to mow his lawn when he was in high school)

How the heck was I supposed to know that he knew Mr Rogers? Who actually meets Mr. Rogers? It's like meeting God! Mr. Rogers lived on Nantucket. Or he did, after he moved there from western Pennsylvania, which is where M met him. I know that now.

The point is, my little joke fell flat and became "the worst thing I ever said to M".

Things just snowballed from there.

And I made a list and filed it away in my head for any future events that may necessitate its use.

For instance, if my 10 year old niece ever royally pissed me off, I could tell her that "Tim Burton steals all his ideas from other people and passes them off as his own." It's the meanest thing I could ever say to her.  I could tell my friend, Nerd "Your hair isn't that great." I could tell my friend Isabella "Nothing you do will ever make a difference." I could tell my cousin that "Neiman Marcus is going out of business."

That is what I was GOING to write about.

But this morning, while I was driving to work, I was listening to one of those radio stations with a "morning show." You know, when it sounds like there are about 15 people in a sound booth prattling on about some subject they have deemed trendy and relevant. Generally, I do not listen to stuff like that, but my designated radio hand was otherwise engaged holding my green smoothie.

(Have you joined that 30 day challenge? Green smoothies are frickin' awesome! I put a cucumber in mine this morning and it made it rather frothy. Not a fan of the froth, but wild about the taste!)

Anyway, this morning, the zany radio crew were having a conversation that was extraordinarily mean. Not funny mean, or silly mean, or "I know you so well I know how to get on your nerves" mean. But really, truly mean.

They were discussing a list of last meals requested by people about to be executed. Talking about what was dumb to request and what was trailer-trash-y to request and who requested a good last meal. Inviting people to call in and give their opinions on the stupidity of the last requested meal of people about to die.

I'm not saying the people who did the requesting were good people. I'm not commenting on the death penalty. I'm not saying that maybe they didn't deserve the sentence they got.

But I am saying that devoting your morning to laughing at their choice for the last meal they would ever eat is is just plain mean. Mean in a way that even a frothy green smoothie can't erase.

Fortunately, I we had adaptive cycling tonite after work and that is on my list of the nicest things to do on a summer evening.

I have nice lists, too.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

summertime drinks

MamaKat's Weekly writing prompts: What are your favorite summertime drinks?

Despite our unseasonably cold June thus far, I am optomistic about a great summer. The Life is Good Festival just announced its headliner (Dave Matthews, Woot! Woot!) And though I haven't had any time this spring to train for any sort of race, I did find out about an all-female obstacle course race in September and I'm thinking of putting together a team of friends.

Most of all, I'm excited about the proximity of my apartment to the beach and the presence of a pool. Pool parties and girlfriend hang out sessions. Which means, of course, I need to try out all the summertime drink recipes that I've been collecting in my mind.


1 liter bottle of raspberry vodka
1/2 gallon lemonade
1/2 gallon iced tea


A few weeks ago, I met somebody who grew up in Germany and ordered one of these. It's surprisingly good!

Light beer (like a pilsner)
citrus soda (orange, lemon-lime, ginger ale, sprite)
mix half and half and enjoy


(I like my margaritas frozen and blended!)

lime juice
pureed watermelon
elderflower liquer
simple syrup


orange flavored vodka
orange juice
pineapple juice
lime juice
orange and lemon wedges


(My favorite part of Spain was sitting in the plazas, drinking sangria and people watching)

 1 bottle red wine
 4oz cointreau
 2 liter bottle of sprite
 as much fruit as you can get your hands on


(we had mimosas on my 21st birthday at breakfast because it was on the first day of finals)

orange juice


(fell in love with Bellinis in Italy. Fell in love with Italy, too)

Peach Puree
mix 3 to 2 ratio in champagne flute


(When I lived in the South, I always wanted to sit on a porch on a steamy afternoon and drink mint juleps. I think I may keel over after drinking one, but what the heck!)

crush several mint leaves with simple syrup in the bottom of a glass
fill glass with crushed ice
add 2 oz bourbon
and 2 tablespoons water
garnish with mint sprig

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

four questions

So one of my favoritest bloggie buddies started a little linky party this week. And since I've been rather...creatively challenged....lately. I decided to jump in early, while its still super new. (It's so rare that I even find out about ANYTHING when its new. I'm chalking that up to being busy, NOT being over 40.)

Anyway, the game is called 4 Questions, 1 Answer. When I first read the name, I thought that you had to come up with ONE answer that correctly answered 4 different questions. That sounded too challenging. Fortunately, it was one long answer and 3 one word answers to four questions. Much easier for a creatively challenged soul like myself!

What is your least favorite nickname/ petname?

Most of my nicknames / petnames stem from the fact that I am only 5'0" tall. I amazingly had four (4) boyfriends call me Peanut-head. And I've had the usual spattering of Half-Pint, Sprout, Tiny, and Little One.

Then, of course, are the nicknames because of my name: Heather-Feather, or Feather.

I don't mind those or any of the others through the years because of my love of science and hard rock music. (Nerd, Dork, Geek, Rocker-Chick)

I'm not so fond of the nickname that is, ironically, most of my friends' absolute favorite: Ass-Butt. Whatever. I eat a lot of vegetables.

Where were you when you received your first kiss?

Do you believe in Karma?

What is your favorite summertime treat?

Monday, June 4, 2012

Monday Musing

Monday Musings are a lot like Sunday Musings, but a day later. On a rainy Sunday in June when it felt like the end of October (seriously? I'm wearing sweats and a hoodie and fleece socks and I'm still a little chilly!) I spent the day cooking artichokes and asparagus and apples and a few other foods that don't begin with A. Cooking and watching You've Got Mail and Practical Magic because they are rainy day movies. But I didn't muse and post.

I just this morning deemed Monday  "catch up day" which worked great at work, and now it's working great in Blogland, too, as I catch up on Sunday's missed musings.

Do You Feel You Are Not Good Enough In Some Areas of Your Life?

Oh, boy. Where do I begin on this one? "Not being good enough" is an integral part of my personality, it seems. I endlessly joke about how I always mess things up and fall down the stairs, how I have no willpower and no boyfriend. How I lived above my friend's garage at age 40 like a pathetic character in a sitcom.

All joking aside, though, I feel like I deserve some of the things that keep slipping through my fingers. I think I'm a pretty nice person; I'm hard working and competent and I'm pretty funny at times and I like to do cool things. Is it too much to ask for something to work out, every now and then? To have somebody think I'm just about the greatest thing since sliced bread and me feel the same about him? To have one of those days where everything just falls into place and goes in my favor? Do those days even exist?

If I'm really truthful with myself, though, I have to admit that there are times when I do things in a rather half assed way. That way, when things don't go in my favor, I have an excuse. "I wasn't really trying", "I didn't have time to give it my all". "I'm never going to come in first, so why train like I have a chance?"

'Cause what if I really tried and gave it my all and still came out with the same mediocre results? That would be awful. Then I would really  have to come to terms with how inadequate I really am. It's better to have those excuses to fall back on.

But that's not necessarily how I want to continue to be.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Rainy Saturday

June 2nd arrived rainy and cold and that always reminds me of Winnie the Pooh. (From the classic "Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day" which is the first thing I remember scaring me and giving me nightmares.) Today was not a day for nightmares, however, just rain. I'm hoping the nightmares of 2011 are washed away.

I went to two birthday parties today; one for a 5 year old and one for a 15 year old.

One party with incessantly moving, hyper, jumping, screeching, overly excited little boys who I could easily corral and control with one simple question: "Who is your favorite superhero?" The response that made me the most happy: "Ironman!" -- not because of the response itself, but rather the response to the response. "That's Mommy's favorite superhero, too!" followed by 4 other moms "Oh, yes...."  The response that made me the most sad: "I don't like superheros. They aren't real. I like Ice Truckers." Maybe more rain will wash away those nightmares left over from 2011.

The other party had slumpy, lumpy, incessantly texting, grunting, exceedingly bored looking teenage girls who I could confuse with one simple concept: the mixed tape. I was telling them about how much you had to REALLY like somebody in order to even consider making them a mixed tape. How you had to wait for a song to come on the radio, with the record, play, and pause button all simultaneously depressed and then quickly un-pause when the song came on. Heaven forbid you were in the bathroom when the song came on the radio! Or if the DJ was really talky that day. You'd have to just wait it out. Sometimes it took two weeks (or longer) to make a single, perfect mixed tape. And then, if you had a falling out, you'd really want that tape BACK! The other person could either be nice and return the tape, or immature and hold the tape hostage, or just evil and break the tape, unravelling it in front of you like a James Bond villain. The response was...well, blank stares, actually. One girl asked me if I was making this up. Another asked why we didn't just make a play list on i-tunes and email it to the other person.  Some of yesteryear's nightmares have already been washed away.

Happy Saturday Night.

Friday, June 1, 2012


June is here. I spent the first day of June pulling up weeds, trimming bushes, and de-pollinating my apartment. I guess summery things to do, though not necessarily overly fun things to do. S'ok. It was a little on the cool side for the beach, but the perfect temperature for a little work outside.

One of my neighbors stopped me as I was carrying bags of clippings to the dumpster and asked me some questions about her flowers. She thought I was one of the people from the gardening crew.


First day of the month always means time to do a little reflection, a little list making, and a little goal setting.

May Goals:

1) Journal Daily: 2/3 of the time successful
2) Bring Lunch to Work 3 of 4 days: Big fat fail there. I brought my lunch on week and two days of week two. No matter how much I prepare and get things ready, I always feel rushed on the way out the door.
3) Plant the container gardens: success! Now if I could figure out how to get the critters to stop eating my strawberries!
4) Get 7 or more hours of sleep a night: mostly successful. I had one or so nights a week where I just couldn't sleep. But other than that good rest. :)
5) Fun Group Activity Every Weekend: so let's see: 1st w/e: movies with J and Shel, 2nd w/e: Ragnar Relay, 3rd: Adaptive Sports Fair and play, 4th: Pub Run and group kayaking trip. Not too shabby!
6) Swim in the Ocean: success! Wanted to swim again today, but was a little cold.
7) Tune up bike and ride: fail.
8) Weekly Check in Meetings: talking with Isabella every week. Though at this point, I think she needs me to keep her on track more than vice versa. Which is ok.

JUNE GOALS: (a little differently)

5 Things to Get Rid of :

1) 4-5 pounds
2) caffeine
3) overworking
4) TV (cut it out 3 times per week)
5) the fear of just committing to SOMETHING (anything!)

5 New Things to Get:

1) A green smoothie every day habit (courtesy of Amanda) Oh...and they are frickin delicious!
2) A fireproof box for valuables: My friend's house burned down last month. I should've gotten this sooner.
3) A morning workout. The (once again) late nights have kept me from my workouts more than I wanted.
4) Starting Back up on "The Artist's Way" Did it a few times before and always felt more centered
5) Run a mile every day (courtesy of Jess)

5 Things to Keep:

1) The daily journaling.
2) Container Gardening :)
3) Group Activities on the weekends
4) Trying new recipes each week
5)  Keeping on track with Isabella and me both

Hoping June will be filled with sun and sand and the ocean, strawberries and tomatoes, green smoothies and group runs, kayaking and biking, new friends and old, and a few creative endeavors.