Niece and Nephew Wisdom

It's been a while since I imparted the infinite wisdom of my nieces and nephews. But this is just too brilliant:

On Monday, there was a mock election at the elementary school where my niece and nephew go. When they got home, my brother and sister in law asked them who they voted for.

5 year old boy: "I voted for Obama"

7 year old girl: "Well, I voted for Mitt Romney"

Their parents said "Oh, no. We need a tie breaker here" So they called in the two year old and asked him who he wanted to be president. He thought for a moment:

"Superman!"

I think he may be on to something.

TODAY'S THANKS:

Reading under the covers all snuggly and warm.

Helpful Advice from My 12 Year Old Neice

"A boy on the bus asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, but the next day told him no. I told him we could sit next to each other on the bus, and text each other, and maybe go together to a dance at school, but that kissing is absolutely out. Yuck."

Today I am grateful for:

1) Foam rollers
2) caffeine
3) weighted balls
4) nutella
5) my bed

helpful advice

HELPFUL ADVICE FROM MY 8 YEAR OLD NIECE:

Did you know that if you wear more than 17 silly bandz, your circulation will get cut off and you could lose your arm?

That's why I wear 16 on each arm.

More Helpful Advice

More Helpful Advice from My 2 Year Old Nephew and 5 Year Old Neice:

Nephew: "I can play with this Spongebob ball but I can't watch his show."

Me: "Well, that sounds pretty reasonable."

Neice: "Spongebob is fresh! He says bad words and does all kinds of naughty things. I don't even know how he has time to do all those things, because he's probably always in time out."

Nephew: "I'm always in time out, too."

Helpful Advice from my Two Year Old Nephew:

"It's okay to say 'Shake your tailfeathers' but it's NOT okay to say 'Shake your booty'. That's fresh! And you'll end up in time out."

Helpful Advice

Helpful Advice From My 8 Year Old Neice:

"The best Olympic sport to watch is curling. Even if it does get really boring after a while; it's still good."

what I learned this weekend

Once again, I am getting my inspiration from Brazen with:

Things I learned this weekend:

1) Starting to drink at 10:00 am with the plan of keeping the buzz going all day is just a bad idea.

2) I'm just too old for that.

3) I couldn't even do that when I was 22.

4) It's entirely possible to say somebody's name too much. Isabella and I rode the train from NYC back to her apartment after the aforementioned day of debauchery in the city. Between New York and East Orange, the woman in front of us on the train said "George" approximately 1100 times. ("George, listen to me, George. George, I am not saying that you don't work. But, George, your job just isn't as taxing as most other people's, George. Tell me, George, have you ever had to get down on your hands and knees and scrub the floor, George? ....Well, of course, George, I know that most computer programmers don't scrub the floor, George, but, George, I am just trying to probe a point. Ok, George?"

5) And speaking of names, some names are just wrong for parents to pin on their children. One of my friends was relaying the story of his grandfather, Heiman. Spelled almost like the much sought after football trophy, but pronounced like the sacred membrane. What were his parents thinking?

6) I know murder is a sin and there is no justification for taking another person's life, but in some instances, it's completely understandable. (See #4 and #5) I'm just saying that I would voluntarily testify on George or Heiman's behalf.

7) When it comes to buying Xmas presents, quirky is fun! (Maybe not for the recipient, but certainly for the buyer!)

8) Connecticut gets longer every time I drive through it.

9) Don't bank your plans on the weather forecast.

10) Lucky Charms are STILL magically delicious!

water is magic

Remember when you were little and you got those little capsule shaped things that you put in water and the next day, like magic, they had turned into big dinosaurs or mermaids or planes? Remember thinking that water must be magic?

Well, the past few days have me back in that frame of mind. I'm absolutely sure that water is magic.

All the things I have been trying to overcome -- the fatigue, the headaches, the sinus-y feelings, the muscle cramping in the middle of the night, the inability to lose weight -- they all have been magically cured since I came up with a viable and easy way of drinking more water. (that last sentence makes me sound like I was on the verge of death. I wasn't. I just like to bitch and moan sometimes)

Anyway, I figured that I drink one cup of water between each patient that I see during the day. It makes for a good way to keep track of the amount I have consumed as well as a system to keep drinking. It seems to be working pretty well.

I've also learned that in the afternoon when I was near crazy, needing a snack to get me through the rest of the day, I was actually NOT hungry, I was thirsty. So I've been a lot less hungry and a lot more clear headed at work.

No doubt about it. Water is MAGIC!

Helpful Advice for Athletic Events

If you are MC-ing an event that entails an open water ocean swim, it is perhaps better NOT to mention the recent great white shark sightings in the area.

(just saying)

neice wisdom

Exciting news from my 10 year old neice:

(from a phone conversation this week)

We went to the Hershey Park and I rode on my first real big roller coaster and I was scared and I'm Never gonna do that again, ever!


And then we went to the Chocolate Museum and they told us how many Hershey products are made every day. It's a lot.


Then, we went to Washington DC and we went to the zoo and it's one of the only places where you can see panda bears in person and I really like panda bears, so it was really lucky that they have them.


And tomorrow, we are going to the White House and my sister thinks we are going to be able to pat the dog.


And guess What Else? Today, I got a Chicken Nugget that was shaped like a Heart!

It was the coolest thing ever!

helpful advice

Helpful advice from my sister-in-law:

If what you REALLY want for a present is a new coffee maker, simply agree to let the 10 and 7 year olds to make you breakfast in bed with NO HELP.

By 7:30 am, there will be absolutely no question as to whether you are getting that coffee maker.

EVOLUTION OF A YOUNG METRO

I admit, I am often baffled by the upsurge in the sheer number of metro-sexual guys over the past few years. In the 1990's, they did not seem to exist. But as grunge gave way to baggy and baggy gave way to low slung, the amount of uber coifed and tidy guys climbed exponentially.

What is behind this? Was it a naturally occuring reaction to years of sloppiness? Is it because of the proliferation of guy products? Is a result of careful mass marketing? Or is it a by-product of America's over-exposure to Ryan Seacrest? This weekend, something occured that made me re-think my ideas of the metro-sexual. Perhaps it's ingrained much earlier in life.

Last Friday, I was visiting with my 23 month old nephew. We were scampering around the house together, laughing and playing. Suddenly, he got a concerned look on his face.

"My pocketbook!" he cried. "Where is my pocketbook?"

"You have a pocketbook?" I laughed.

"Ya." He wasn't laughing, like me.

"What do you keep in your pocketbook?"

"My stuff " he said.

"What stuff ?" I asked.

"My stuff ! My stuff ! I want my stuff !"

"Don't worry, buddy," I said, "We'll find it."

We started looking around for his pocketbook. I figured a the likely place was in the mountain of toys in the toy room. (A mere 20 minutes before the pocketbook search, the toy room was neat and organized. But that was before the toy room was exposed to 2 weapons of mass destruction: toddler bombs)

Finally, I found a duffel bag near the back.

"Is this it, little man?"

"Yes!" he was giddy with excitement as he grabbed for the bag. Then he proceeded to show me all the stuff in his bag. "My baseball. My football. My basketball. My hockey puck. My glove. My hat. Cookie monster."

He carefully placed all of this stuff back in the bag. He slung it over his shoulder, ready to be on his way.

I tugged on the strap of his bag. "What is this again?"

He looked back at me over his shoulder and smiled. "My man-bag."

I suspect there'll be a lot of hair gel in his future!

Holiday Safety Tip

Holiday Safety Tip From My 10 Year Old Neice:

"Whenever you ride a skateboard, you should make sure to wear

elbow pads, knee pads, a helmet, and Chuck Taylors."