Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Help Wanted: Tuesday's bad dates

This Tuesday, I found inspiration from MamaKat's weekly writing prompts.

The Prompts:
1.) Interview a child.(inspired by Quilao Triplets)
2.) How do you stave off boredom?(inspired by Jenn's Pen)
3.) Write a poem for the little boy in your life.(inspired by Life With Kaishon)
4.) Describe a memorable interview or talk about your experience trying to find a job amidst this recession.(inspired by Lacey)
5.) Create a Help Wanted Ad.(inspired by Jenners)

I chose #5:


You know when you walk by those super fancy night clubs and they have those obnoxious door men manning the velvet ropes? Those guys? The ones who give everyone a hard time and think they are God's gift to...the sidewalk? They make sure only "certain people" get inside and yet they attract everyone because people think "Oh! A line! There must be something really good going on inside. Let's get in this line." Most of the time, if you do get past all the insults to your hippie-chick attire and more or less make up-less face and product-less hair, then the inside is just a big let down. Just a lame DJ playing some tuneless house music and a bunch of plastic people milling around some leather cube thingies that I guess are supposed to be chairs. The drinks are terrible and the strobe lights are about to send everyone into a grand mal seizure. But every once in a while, you stumble into a place that has a great band or yummy creative drinks or a cool crowd. Something that makes you glad you didn't walk on past to your usual dive bar.

I need a doorman like that. You know, to weed out all the bad dates! Instead of keeping the normal people out of the club, the dateman could let the normal people in to Jeepgirl world! And maybe the dateman could generate a little interest this way, as well. I don't need velvet ropes or a line that goes halfway around the block or anything like that. It's just that the hippie chick attire that drives the doormen up a wall doesn't exactly generate a two block line in real life. (I have no idea why. It's a timeless, casual, playful look. You can't beat it.)

That would be wonderful! Kind of like a matchmaker, only not so politically incorrect. Then, maybe my dates wouldn't end so disasterously!

Know anyone who could meet those job requirements? (Or maybe I chould just date him.)


Diane said...

I haven't had any dates lately for the doorman to weed out. Of course, that's partly my doing, as I'm not looking. But why can't someone be looking for me? Sigh.

Lacey said...

This was hilarious. Yes, yes, I think EVERY good woman could use a doorman. :-)