Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Today's date got me thinking of one of the few clean, kid friendly jokes I know:

"Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven-ate-nine."

It's funny: I have no shortage of dirty, inappropriate for kiddies jokes. They are HILARIOUS! But take out the swears, the double entendres, the all out smut, and jokes seem to fall flat. Jokes that I can tell children or more conservative adult friends, I can count on one hand.

Case in point:

1) "If Mississippi wore Missouri's New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho, Alaska!"

2) "Where do hotdogs and hamburgers go when they want to dance? To the meatball"

3) "What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt."

And I'm drawing a blank right now for more adult jokes that aren't about the Pythagorean theory, the theory of relativity, chemistry, or anatomy. I'd share those with y'all, because --hello, bloggie land --- you guys are probably bigger nerd than I am. But they tend to be long and rambling.

Why is it that the "Wedding Crasher", "Knocked Up", "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" style jokes are so abundant, but the "Grumpy Old Men", "Uncle Buck" kind of jokes are so rare?

Anybody know any good, clean jokes? Share em with me!


Diane said...

I'd share 'em if I could remember 'em. I am the WORST joke-teller EVER. I forget the punchline every. single. time.

Well, except for one (my niece told it to me when she was 6)...

And you know what? I just went to type it here and I've FORGOTTEN IT!!!

I'm pathetic.

Carolina John said...

bigger nerd? yesterday it was 90 degrees outside and i was wearing a black t-shirt that said "there's no place like"

that's a nerd for you. i also chose not to go outside yesterday. so for jokes about a reclusive nerd, just put up one of my sexy pics.

Lacey said...

That's certainly better than I could do... I can't even think of one!

Wait! Okay, here goes.

A guy walks into a bar...

And then he says "ow."

Get it? Get it? Like, you think the guy is walking into a bar to get a beer or something, but instead it's a DIFFERENT kind of bar and your MIND IS BLOWN. Hahahahaha!

I know. Everyone else thinks it's the worst joke ever, too. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

Ever listen to one of the Prairie Home Companion joke shows? Good material there, and they occasionally collect them into books...