Tuesday, July 14, 2009

tuesday's bad dates: Marv

Last night, I was talking to a friend I haven't seen in a while. I asked her about they guy she's been dating. And the story she told me made me actually quite grateful for the bad dates I've experienced.

Barb met her guy, Merv, at a tai chi class at her gym. He seemed to be a perfect match for her; he was into tai chi and yoga, he was taking a transcendental meditation class. At the same time, he was into rock climbing and drove a Harley. Plus, he loved middle eastern food and musical theater, just like her. They seemed like a match made in heaven.

Then came the night that he took her to see Rent. They went to an early show and then out to dinner. Afterward, they were strolling through the public gardens and talking. (so far, so good) At this point, a homeless person came up to them and asked for money. They declined. He kept asking for money. They told him they didn't have any. He again asked them to check: maybe they had just one dollar.

Marv, at this point, reached into his jacket and pulled out -- no, not his wallet -- he reached in and pulled out A GUN!

A GUN! Who the hell pulls a gun on a homeless person? It's not like he held them up at knife point and demanded all their money. It's not like he attacked them. He was just being an annoying homeless person begging for money.

The strange part of this little tale is that the homeless guy just shrugged and walked away, completely unfazed.

Not so with Barb. "What the hell was that?" she screamed at Marv.

"Relax" he said. "It wasn't loaded."

Needless to say, that was their last date.

Looks like Marv needs a few hundred more of those meditation classes.


Carolina John said...

hahahahahaha, oh that's great. nice and calm collides with shockingly violent. it's a classic combination, really.

Anonymous said...

On the plus side, better to find out on the FIRST date...

Anonymous said...

What?? I totally did not see that coming!

Lacey said...

WOW. Just... wow. At least it wasn't loaded... Right? Maybe?

On the other hand, she might be swooning over him for real if they HAD been mugged! Who DOES that?!