October has come rolling in and I'm feeling...tired. Earlier in the week, I had commented on how I always seem to pile my plate too high, and then become overwhelmed at the sheer volume of my commitments. Today, as I go over September's goals, I'm realizing that maybe it's not the number of commitments I have, but the spirit in which I enter them.

The goals I write, the things I aspire to, are things I want to achieve, of course. But I think I've been writing them with an aire of "here are the things I need to change about myself". And then...here are the ways I'm inadequate. Even something like going to a concert I later think "Check. One more thing I can cross off the life list. One more thing I don't have to worry about."

Maybe the burnt out, fatigued feeling comes from my bad habit of "getting through" life in order to "reach" that place where I can finally rest. Does that place exist? My experience says no. So I better start enjoying the ride.

On that note, and after a little idea that I stumbled upon through Lacey, the October goals are going to look much, much different.

But first September:

1) Eat Clean: Fail. I did for a while, then even grocery shopping became too much of a bother. New approach next month.

2) Start P90x Workouts: I'm gonna give that half credit. I missed like a week of workouts when they started roadwork on the bridge and my commute time went from 25 minutes to an hour and 25 minutes. On top of a work day that often runs from 8am to 8pm. But I did get some good workouts in on the other weeks. I tweak the program a little: it's actually a little low on the cardio for me, so I've been doing the exercises in the gym in a circuit fashion: run a mile, do half the workout, run a mile, do the other half of the workout, run a mile. It works pretty well. So I'll continue in this tweaked fashion thru next month.

3) Lose 3 pounds: GAH! One pound. Again. What is this, the forth month in a row I've lost ONE STINKING POUND? My pants are falling off of me, though. I don't get it.

4) One new client for per diem job: success.

5) Hike Mt Washington: awesome awesome day. successful. and fun.

6) See U2 in concert: I'm not going to say "check." I'm going to smile instead.

7) Submit one article for publication in Cape Cod Health Newsletter: sent off today.

8) Read three travel books from the bookshelf: I read 3 books. Not the travel books. Half credit.

9) Plan weekend reunion with college friends: tried...and failed. When did everyone get too busy to hang out with friends? Probably around the same time as me.

10) End the tri season on an up note: Finished my last two races COLD and happy. Today I'm giving the bikes a tune up and looking forward for fall biking.

So for October, I am taking the inspiration for my goals from Apartment 513. In October, I am simply going to do something awesome every day.

I'm not going to think about "eating clean", but about being good to my body. I'm going to try some recipes. I'm going to go to the farmer's market before it closes for the season. I'm going to get rid of the artificial crap.

I'm not going to think about adhering to a workout routine, but about doing something I love. If I didn't work out, I'd go insane. That's why I do it. I need to remember that.

I'm not going to focus on training, I'm going to focus on getting out on my bike or in my running shoes and enjoy being outside.

October will be my 30 days of awesome!