Friday, December 31, 2010

End of the Year Lessons

Hey Everyone!

It’s that time of year again….the most wonderful time of the year…or so the saying goes. Time to wrap up all the end of the year stuff. Time to stop and reflect upon all the lessons you learned in the past year. Once again, for your end of the year entertainment:

The Top Ten Things Heather Learned in 2010

10) If I get stung by a bee, I will NOT die.
Actually, after my Jurassic leg incident last summer, I learned lots of things about bee stings: there are 5 types of venomous insects in New England. There are 3 types of reactions to bee stings. The hummingbird sized insect that stung me was most likely a yellow faced hornet, not a yellow jacket. Many vegans eschew honey. I never had any use for this type of information before. And really? I still don’t. But that whole not dying thing; that’s good.

9) In South Carolina, 1 inch of snow is like the apocalypse
Or at least enough to cancel a marathon. That you’ve spent months training for. And flew down to Myrtle Beach to run. Stupid southern states!

8) There is something worse than the California DMV…the Massachusetts IRS
Somehow, the state of Mass decided that in 2006 (the year I lived in California until August and in Mass for the remainder of the year) I should have had the foresight to pay taxes to Mass for the ENTIRE year. And it took no fewer than 6 separate pieces of correspondence to convince them otherwise. Not to be outdone, California followed suit once I THOUGHT everything was solved. Four pieces of correspondence and counting. Stupid blue states!

7) St. Mark’s Square in Venice floods
You know that place with the big gold basilica and the pigeons? I tried to go there and hang with the pigeons. I went down in my super-cute sundress (that will now be known forever as my “pigeon dress”). Turns out, I shoulda worn duck boots! There was, like, 2 ½ feet of water in the square. The entire foyer of the basilica was underwater! Don’t know why that bothers me so much.

6) I learned what a bulging disc feels like.
It’s HORRIBLE! Now I have a smidge more sympathy for my patients. But not a whole lot. ‘Cause I also learned that physical therapy works when you are compliant with that home exercise program!

5) Summer really is just spectacular!
This year, we had the warmest, most wonderful summer weather I can remember in years. It was great. I really love summer. Which leads me to the next logical conclusion: I hate cold.

4) I am not the lifestyle police
Wouldn’t it be awesome if I was? Everyone everywhere would be roaming around as rumpled, tangled, messes with 4 types of athletic shoes in their car at all times and plans to see every live music act in a 15 mile radius. Alas, as I creep into the fourth decade of life, I hear friends reporting news like “I was hospitalized overnight for chest pain twice this year” or “I had this numbness all along the left side of my body for 3 weeks before I went to the doctor and he said it was a mini-stroke”. Most often with a cigarette in one hand, a beer in the other, and a plate of fully loaded nachos in front of them. Don’t they know that they should be striving to be within one standard deviation of ME? Clearly not. And it really doesn’t go over too well to say so. Guess I’ll just have to lead by twirling, pigeon dressed example.

3) I’m becoming less organized as I get older
You’d think that by now, I’d have my Xmas letter written by Thanksgiving and mailed out by December 1st. Yeah, not so much. My friends will be getting Xmas letters around Jan 5th.

2) Children’s behavior is much more tolerable when you share a genetic link with them.
You know, except for you guys. YOUR kids are ADORABLE! It’s all the other ones out there I’m referring to!

1) I got a hug from the lead singer of Ozomatli!
OK, technically, that’s not something I learned, that’s something I did. At the Life is Good concert in September. I just thought it was exciting enough to share. Plus, after returning home and consulting Google, I learned that his name is not, in fact, “that scruffy trumpet player guy”, but Asdrubal Sierra. (I can’t pronounce that anyway, so even if I knew that beforehand, I still woulda called him “Dude”)

Happy Holidays, Everyone!
And learn lots in 2011.

1 comment:

Carolina John said...

SC will close the public schools a the threat of snow. before the first flake has fallen, schools are closed down. it's pathetic.