Wednesday, February 4, 2009

MARTINI ATTACK

I'LL HAVE ONE MARTINI
TWO AT THE VERY MOST
THREE, I'M UNDER THE TABLE
FOUR, I'M UNDER THE HOST ---Dorothy Parker

Recap of what I learned this weekend:

1) If you are considering going to an Omni theater show, consider having a couple drinks before hand. It makes the experience that much more intense.

2) Martinis are wolves in sheep's clothing. They have lovely names like: Flirtini or Bella-tini, reminiscent of a fairy princess with wings and a tutu. They come in pretty colors like soft pink or sherbety orange. They taste like liquid candy in a glass. And sometimes they are slightly fizzy. But rest you assured: they are out to get you! Have a couple of these babies and you are apt to turn into a blithering idiot, unable to shut up and hammering unsuspecting people with TMI. They keep appearing in front of you, magically. And no matter what anyone at the table says, you did NOT keep ordering more. Those martinis were on the attack. Out to get you.

3) If you do order martinis, make sure you have a friend with you who will take them away and tell the waitress "No more." Only through a team effort can you come out of the martini battle in one piece.

4 comments:

Diane said...

I've actually never had a martini. And after reading this, and knowing how I drink, I don't think I ever will :)

Heather said...

I'm not a martini girl. I don't do the sugary-sweet-fruity thing. Give me a cold beer or a Jack and Coke. :)

Carolina John said...

that's a funny poem. i lurve me some martinis.

the gazelle said...

I love Dorothy Parker. And martinis. But not the fruity ones. I'm more of a cold gin in a glass girl. (Two is definitely my limit for martinis.)