Tuesday, November 2, 2010

thinking of the past

Yesterday, I had to go to a wake. It was very unexpected and very sad. It was one of those things that really made me think about life and death and what it all means.

When I was little, I had this best friend. We were inseperable. We were both these tiny, skinny, really athletic little girls. We did gymnastics and played soccer and swam in her pool. We used to do crazy flips off the diving board and scare the be-jeezus out of our mothers. We climbed trees and built gigantic snow-jumps at the bottom of the sledding hill so that we could flyhigher than anyone else. (we were little and tiny so our sled didn't weigh much) We used to pretend that we were sisters. We pretty much were. Every weekend we slept over one another's houses. Every day we sat together on the bus.

Somewhere in junior high school, we started to grow apart. She was always a little braver than me. And wanted to grow up faster than I did. In junior high, that combination of bravery and a desire to grow up fast can put you into situations that I was afraid of. And we drifted.

It's not like we had a big falling out. It's not like we were ever angry with one another. It's not like there was a lot of drama. We just drifted apart. And I haven't seen her in I don't know how many years.

Until last night, at her mom's wake.

And it was so sad to know that the person who was like a second mom to me is gone. Sadder still that I hadn't seen her in so long. It's bewildering to think that a person who was one of the most important people in your world slips from your life and you don't have any contact until... a wake.

And even still....we talked and cried together and hugged and reminisced a bit. But I'm not even sure if we will be in contact from here on out except as facebook friends or something.

It has me thinking a lot. About things that may have no answers.

Today I am grateful for:

1) the right to vote
2) an end to negative campaign ads
3) old friends
4) kind words
5) second chances


spleen said...

::hugs:: I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend's mom. I know what it's like when your childhood best friend's family is like a second home. I'm sure your friend felt comfort in your even knowing her mom and having shared parts of her childhood with her even if you never grow back into that closeness today.

The Singlutionary said...

I used to try so hard to keep in touch with everyone. It was such a burden. And then I realized that it is impossible. And then I realized that the love is always there. Even when a relationship/friendship was broken and beatup when we parted ways, the love is always always there. So while it is sad that there are people we have in our lives for a time and then never see again, the love never goes away.