Checking out

 I did something stupid yesterday. 

I was reflecting upon the past week, getting ready to do a weekly review of my 52 things project. I was actually feeling pretty good. Though I wasn't perfect in my execution (holidays and all), I was kind to myself. Instead of beating myself up, I was looking for little victories. And there were plenty of them.

I'm feeling better- not as tired and certainly not as angry at the world, especially at work. I am slowly but steadily transitioning back into running and I'm not in pain. I'm drinking my water and journaling. I've made some good, nutritious lunches. I've learned that sleeping in on weekends is not good for me.( I lose all my motivation. I'm much better off getting up, going for a run, working on some projects, and getting something done. Then, I can take a cat nap in the afternoon.) I have figured out that, as much as I've enjoyed them in the past, Sun Chips do not agree with me anymore. I'm standing taller. My pants are actually fitting differently (not looser, necessarily, they just hang differently). It's been a good start.

Then, I stepped on the scale. 

I know the scale is a poor measure of progress. I know there are many, many reasons that the scale does not reflect how much better I feel right now. I know that last week was Christmas.

But when a 4 pound weight gain showed up yesterday, I didn't know any of that. All I knew is that the scale said I was going backward.

So I went ahead and had myself a little melt down. I spiraled into "I'm never going to meet my goals. I'm never going to get any better. My life is never going to change. There's no point in even trying. I should just abandon this whole stupid idea now"

I'm better now. 

Today, I did some speed work, some yoga, some decluttering and some laundry. And I did my check in. Things are looking good.