Halloween is fun

SWINGING WITH THE DEVIL!

This year, I was able to hit two Halloween parties. One I hosted with J and K. Since the three of us are always together, we decided to take that joke and run with it: we dressed up as Jack, Chrissie, and Janet from Three's Company. (There I am as Janet, with my boots and flowered 70's shirt) A couple other friends came as the Ropers. And we had a whole assortment of other characters roaming around the house: a boxer, a sheik, a biker, a chick-magnet, and Satan, among others.

Disappointing was the fact that so many people who had RSVP's "yes" didn't show. We had more leftover food than we could possibly eat and a lot of it went to waste. I feel like I should have given it to a food shelter or something.

Among the no shows was Nerd. WTF? Seriously, man! He called at the last minute saying he wasn't feeling well and wanted to just "stay horizontal" on his sofa all night. Of course we called and texted him all night, bugging the crap out of him. I thought it was funny as hell. Nerd, not so much. He ended up shutting the phone off.

My other party was at a bar on Halloween night. J and K did not accompany me. Since Janet is not a stand alone kind of costume, I had to dig into the big costume box of Halloweens past. I came up with Princess Leah.

I can confidently say this: every guy in America has a Princess Leah crush. (ok, I'm not sure of all of America. Every guy on Cape Cod has a Princess Leah crush) This came as a surprise to me. I thought just dorky guys like Ross from Friends or Kevin Smith had a thing for Princess Leah. Nope. Turns out non-dorks got 'em, too.

Let's just gloss over the obvious (Princess Lay-ya jokes, light saber jokes, "feel the power of the force" jokes). The BAND were all dressed as Star Wars characters. (how anyone can play the guitar dressed in a Chewbacca costume is beyond me) So that somehow put me in a whole different realm. Suffice it to say: I got way more attention than I wanted.

All the attention was kind of strange, I thought. I was dressed in a beach cover up and bathrobe. Covered from head to toe. Some of the other costumes there were--- a BIT less modest! The girl who won the "costume contest" was wearing a bra and G-string with an apron over them. She was carrying a feather duster. Her costume was "the world's greatest housewife". Out in a bar in her underwear! On Cape Cod in October! It's a bit chilly this time of year. And getting beer spilled all over your bare ass is never a good thing, no matter how warm out it is. You'd think that with "costumes" like that crawling all over the bar, I with my two buns, would be safely annonymous.

The other shock I got that night was the realization that I may not be as funny as I think I am. I get a kick out me. I have several close friends who totally get me. We can sit and laugh for hours over goofy little statements. But put me in a bar full of strangers (in various stages of dress) and I can't buy a laugh.

I thought it would be really funny to go up to people who did not have costumes and say things like "Oh my God! I totally get it! You're dressed up like (a) my ex-boyfriend, (b)my next door neighbor, (c) the Verizon Wireless guy, (d)my cousin Ben, (e) Cameron from Ferris Bueller". Not once did I get so much as a smile. I was thinking that nobody in there had a sense of humor. But now I'm thinking maybe it's me. Maybe I should just tell my lame jokes to J and K, Isabelle, and Nerd.

One closing thought from Halloween night: what is funnier than the guy from Scream dancing next to Jimi Hendrix? Answer: Dracula and Yoda coming to blows on the sidewalk after last call. (relax-- the bouncers broke it up before it got too out of hand)

Don't forget to vote tomorrow!