Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Tuesday's bad dates...the milkshake man

Ok, so first this...the winner of the bad date package is Diane! (Of course, if Diane thinks that all my bad date karma is swirling around the materials and the package may mess things up with "the republican", I can always just donate them. I won't be offended. *sniff* sniff*)

And now this...

Today, I am borrowing a story from my friend, Isabella, who has her fair share of bad date stories, as well.

Several years ago, Isabella was set up on a blind date by a mutual friend of ours, Star. Star had a friend, we'll call him Jay, who was a member of her running club. Jay looked very promising. In addition to belonging to a running club, Jay had a great job, owned his own place, liked to go skiing and biking, and coached basketball for a youth league. He lived in Boston, like Isabella did at the time, but was originally from New Jersey, as she was. Sounds good, right?

So Jay and Isabella exchanged phone calls, picked a date, and picked a nice restaurant --not a super fancy restaurant, but not a chain restaurant, either. Just a nice, middle of the road restaurant. On the night of the date, Isabella showed up first and sat down in the waiting area. Jay had said he was going to come by after a run. A few minutes later, Jay showed up... in running clothes. Not the running clothes he had exercised in; he had gone for a run, showered and then got ready for a date in a nice restaurant by putting on more exercise clothes. (I'm not much of a fashionista, but even I know the difference between an active date and a nice dinner date.) And Isabella? IS a fashionista.

Poor Jay. He already has points against him. There was a bit of a wait for their table, so Isabella and Jay decided to go to the bar to have a drink or two before dinner. Isabella ordered a drink and Jay thought for a while and said: "Could you make me a chocolate milkshake?" In a bar. Before dinner.

Picture it: Jay and Isabella sitting together in the restaurant's bar, she in her super-cute date outfit having a white wine, he in his running clothes drinking a chocolate milkshake. Then Jay started to talk to her about his new water bottle. Jay just purchased this water bottle and he loved it! It had a special compartment that had a gel packet you could put in the freezer. (So his water stayed cold.) He took this water bottle with him everywhere. Isabella said: "I have a similar bottle. Only I carry vodka in mine." Poor Jay. He though she was serious. He spent the next few minutes trying to convince her to get help for her alcohol problem.

The hostess finally came in and told them their table was ready. So they found their table, studied the menus, and made their decisions. The waitress showed up and they ordered their entree and Jay ordered...another milkshake.

After their food (and Jay's milkshake) arrived, they started talking about other types of food they likes. Jay mentioned that he tried to eat healthy. He then went on to explain how all of Isabella's favorite foods were unhealthy and how, in fact, her choice of entree that night was unhealthy. He gave her several tips on how she could try to be a little healthier. How come she wasn't more like Star? Weren't they good friends?

Poor Jay. He'd really blown it with Isabella. He'd done just about everything he could possibly do to turn her off. Or had he? After dinner, Isabella ordered a cup of coffee and Jay ordered...one more milkshake to top off the night.


Heather said...

Wow. Glad to know it's not just you that attracts the weirdos!!
What a strange, sad little man. Three milkshakes? And he's lecturing her on her meal choice?! Oh my.
And congrats to Diane!!! I hope your kit helps her snag a man. :)

Lacey said...

Hahahaha. HAHAHAHAHA. Oh how I love Tuesday's bad dates...

Diane said...

Whoo hoo! I'm a winner! Well... we'll see about that after we determine how well the bad date package works... won't we? Oh, and you can't mess stuff up with the Republican. He has 'non-date' status, remember? And every time he opens his mouth and mentions anything remotely political/religious? Yeah, he writes himself into that non-date category with permanent marker. Oh well.

I had such hopes for Jay and Isabella. Such hopes. Sigh.